I just re-read my friends horrifying story...
...and something popped out at me that I pretty much breezed over before. She said that the rapist had told her that he would be "passing through town". A while back I figured that people you meet online who tell you that they are "passing through town" are ALWAYS bad news. Just like scum bags who would prey on others, I have a bit of a radar of my own that I've developed over years and years of experience.
I don't know if radar is the right word, the ability to identify red flags is more like it. Red flags go up for me when a man says he is "passing through town" as well as the time that some guy giving me a ride home wanted me to come inside and "meet his wife". I'm old enough and experienced enough to recognize many of the red flags but there are so many young women out there who are as trusting as I was at one time. I hope that some of them are reading this.
I've decided to list red flags without explaining them...just trust me, if you see one of these, run swiftly in the other direction:
1. The aforementioned person who is "passing through town"
2. Any person who "loves" you within a week of meeting.
3. Any person who constantly whines about their ex.
4. Any man who makes comments such as..."Oh, she deserved what she got, did you see what she was wearing?"
5. Anyone who wants to meet you in anywhere other than a public place. A decent person wouldn't expect you to meet them in private.
6. Anyone who asks you for money.
7. Anyone who hesitates to give out their phone number or says that they don't have one.
That's all I can think of right now but I would appreciate any input from others who have identified red flags that may be of some help to others.
I'd also like to say, trust your gut...it's usually right. How sad that we live in a world where such dreadful things are possible and we must live our lives distrustful of each other. I have met some wonderful people online and obvioulsy I'm very lucky, but I'm also very smart. I never let one come to my home and I always met them at a place where I knew people. Also, I made sure that they knew that my family knew where I was...in some innocuous way.
I would seriously like to hear anymore advice from people who would be kind enough to take the time to write to me at meg.kelso@gmail.com .
Thanks
...and something popped out at me that I pretty much breezed over before. She said that the rapist had told her that he would be "passing through town". A while back I figured that people you meet online who tell you that they are "passing through town" are ALWAYS bad news. Just like scum bags who would prey on others, I have a bit of a radar of my own that I've developed over years and years of experience.
I don't know if radar is the right word, the ability to identify red flags is more like it. Red flags go up for me when a man says he is "passing through town" as well as the time that some guy giving me a ride home wanted me to come inside and "meet his wife". I'm old enough and experienced enough to recognize many of the red flags but there are so many young women out there who are as trusting as I was at one time. I hope that some of them are reading this.
I've decided to list red flags without explaining them...just trust me, if you see one of these, run swiftly in the other direction:
1. The aforementioned person who is "passing through town"
2. Any person who "loves" you within a week of meeting.
3. Any person who constantly whines about their ex.
4. Any man who makes comments such as..."Oh, she deserved what she got, did you see what she was wearing?"
5. Anyone who wants to meet you in anywhere other than a public place. A decent person wouldn't expect you to meet them in private.
6. Anyone who asks you for money.
7. Anyone who hesitates to give out their phone number or says that they don't have one.
That's all I can think of right now but I would appreciate any input from others who have identified red flags that may be of some help to others.
I'd also like to say, trust your gut...it's usually right. How sad that we live in a world where such dreadful things are possible and we must live our lives distrustful of each other. I have met some wonderful people online and obvioulsy I'm very lucky, but I'm also very smart. I never let one come to my home and I always met them at a place where I knew people. Also, I made sure that they knew that my family knew where I was...in some innocuous way.
I would seriously like to hear anymore advice from people who would be kind enough to take the time to write to me at meg.kelso@gmail.com .
Thanks
posted by Meg Kelso | 10:23 AM
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