A very nice lady...
...wrote to me with some tips for online dating and they're such good ideas that I decided to put them up here. She has, as I have, met some really great people online. I've made a few true friends that I've remained friends with for years. I certainly have met my share of freaky people, like the nut with the hard on that was supposed to get me to pull my pants off outside. I can't help but wonder what would have happened if I had let him in my house. This lady's hints are wise and I've followed them pretty much as she has written them.
I met Chip online, but through the blog. He was one of the many nice people that I email daily and it turned into something more...we weren't looking for a date or a relationship, at least I wasn't and I doubt that he could have foreseen what eventually happened. He's most assuredly a nice guy and I don't fear him anymore than I would fear a good friend. If he wanted to hurt me, he's had the chance and he was a perfect gentleman.
But, as in my friends case, there are a bunch of nuts out there. They look like regular people and they aren't stupid enough to act all freaky before they get you where they want you so here are some sound tips from a woman who has some experience dating online:
The only other true "heads up" I have had is again, like you said, phones. If a guy asks for your phone number and won't give his. If he gives his number but says NEVER CALL. He gives a number and says only call during certain times. He gives a number that is never answered and only calls you and at weird times. You can call him but only at weird times.
Chat on line
Chat on line some more
Chat onl line at weird times
Exchange Pictures that aren't fuzzy, dated, baby shots
Move to phone
Establish a call (usually cell)
Establish a call more than once
Establish and start to call and/or recieve calls at odd times
MEET
Meet in public in the day time for coffee/tea and a light snack (so you can GET THE HELL OUTTA THERE) and when you meet you tell everyone you know where you are going at what time and when to be worried
next date meet for Lunch or Dinner but let everyone again know
next date meet for a movie and dinner IN PUBLIC
next date (if it even got past the first meeting) you might be pretty safe in doing whatever you like) but always let someone know especially if you haven't introduced him to anyone close to you prior
next date - include a friend or family - so that you can start to establish a relationship
OK. It looks like I'll be moving within a couple of weeks. I haven't mentioned to where I'll be moving for a reason. I wanted to make it a game. I've already said that it was somewhere on the East Coast so that's your first hint. I guess I should come up with another...so this is it...there's a river two blocks away that is a state boundary.
OK, I'll come up with some obscure hints everyday and see if anyone can guess where I'm going. Today I have a doctor's appointment, I need to have my blood drawn to see if the tumors are staying away. That's such fun for me. I don't worry about it anymore. I don't worry about much because everything bad that I feared has happened already. Rick leaving was the worst thing I could have imagined and he did and I'm still here. I feared the cancer coming back and it did. But I'm still here. I feared being broke but I've been broke for a year and a half...but I'm still here. So, I just sit back and wait for the next calamity to occur and I deal with it when it happens.
I've never been a Type A personality anyway but after all I've been through over the past two years, I'm much more relaxed about the bad shit. Whatever. It really is true that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger and to paraphrase Socrates, "Death is either eternal sleep or eternity with the Gods". So even death, certainly the worst possible thing, doesn't frighten me anymore.
Over the past 7 years, I've had cancer twice, both times I was given a 50/50 chance of survival. I've had brain surgery which gave me the most painful headache imaginable. They took out my gall bladder...I didn't really need that sucker but it wasn't fun. I have forgotten more health problems than most people ever experience so when someone says, "How are you going to pay the rent?", I just chuckle and think to myself, "One way or another, I always seem to figure something out." Well, maybe I don't actually chuckle, but I do smile.
OK, it's time for me to go to the doctor so I'm outta here but I'll be back later...God willing.
Meg
...wrote to me with some tips for online dating and they're such good ideas that I decided to put them up here. She has, as I have, met some really great people online. I've made a few true friends that I've remained friends with for years. I certainly have met my share of freaky people, like the nut with the hard on that was supposed to get me to pull my pants off outside. I can't help but wonder what would have happened if I had let him in my house. This lady's hints are wise and I've followed them pretty much as she has written them.
I met Chip online, but through the blog. He was one of the many nice people that I email daily and it turned into something more...we weren't looking for a date or a relationship, at least I wasn't and I doubt that he could have foreseen what eventually happened. He's most assuredly a nice guy and I don't fear him anymore than I would fear a good friend. If he wanted to hurt me, he's had the chance and he was a perfect gentleman.
But, as in my friends case, there are a bunch of nuts out there. They look like regular people and they aren't stupid enough to act all freaky before they get you where they want you so here are some sound tips from a woman who has some experience dating online:
The only other true "heads up" I have had is again, like you said, phones. If a guy asks for your phone number and won't give his. If he gives his number but says NEVER CALL. He gives a number and says only call during certain times. He gives a number that is never answered and only calls you and at weird times. You can call him but only at weird times.
Chat on line
Chat on line some more
Chat onl line at weird times
Exchange Pictures that aren't fuzzy, dated, baby shots
Move to phone
Establish a call (usually cell)
Establish a call more than once
Establish and start to call and/or recieve calls at odd times
MEET
Meet in public in the day time for coffee/tea and a light snack (so you can GET THE HELL OUTTA THERE) and when you meet you tell everyone you know where you are going at what time and when to be worried
next date meet for Lunch or Dinner but let everyone again know
next date meet for a movie and dinner IN PUBLIC
next date (if it even got past the first meeting) you might be pretty safe in doing whatever you like) but always let someone know especially if you haven't introduced him to anyone close to you prior
next date - include a friend or family - so that you can start to establish a relationship
OK. It looks like I'll be moving within a couple of weeks. I haven't mentioned to where I'll be moving for a reason. I wanted to make it a game. I've already said that it was somewhere on the East Coast so that's your first hint. I guess I should come up with another...so this is it...there's a river two blocks away that is a state boundary.
OK, I'll come up with some obscure hints everyday and see if anyone can guess where I'm going. Today I have a doctor's appointment, I need to have my blood drawn to see if the tumors are staying away. That's such fun for me. I don't worry about it anymore. I don't worry about much because everything bad that I feared has happened already. Rick leaving was the worst thing I could have imagined and he did and I'm still here. I feared the cancer coming back and it did. But I'm still here. I feared being broke but I've been broke for a year and a half...but I'm still here. So, I just sit back and wait for the next calamity to occur and I deal with it when it happens.
I've never been a Type A personality anyway but after all I've been through over the past two years, I'm much more relaxed about the bad shit. Whatever. It really is true that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger and to paraphrase Socrates, "Death is either eternal sleep or eternity with the Gods". So even death, certainly the worst possible thing, doesn't frighten me anymore.
Over the past 7 years, I've had cancer twice, both times I was given a 50/50 chance of survival. I've had brain surgery which gave me the most painful headache imaginable. They took out my gall bladder...I didn't really need that sucker but it wasn't fun. I have forgotten more health problems than most people ever experience so when someone says, "How are you going to pay the rent?", I just chuckle and think to myself, "One way or another, I always seem to figure something out." Well, maybe I don't actually chuckle, but I do smile.
OK, it's time for me to go to the doctor so I'm outta here but I'll be back later...God willing.
Meg
posted by Meg Kelso | 5:03 AM
2 Comments:
After you've been through war, famine and pestilence it doesn't matter how much of a Type A (or having lived over half of your life lived with undxed. hyperthyroidism) you just.stop.worrying.
You know right down to the very depths of your being no mater what life throws at you, you'll survive. You may not LIKE what ever it is, but you'll be OK.
TW
Yeah, you are absolutely right. But right now, I'm in a situation I can't get out of and it's killing me. Literally.
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