The guy who I went out with...

...Friday night sent me flowers yesterday! Isn't that sweet? I was so taken aback that I inhaled saliva and almost choked to death in front of the delivery lady. The flowers are a beautiful blend of white and yellow roses with daisies. I've never seen anything like them before.

And...I counted them. There's an even number of roses and daisies so I doubt that this man gave any of the flowers that he bought for me to another woman. Rick was good for giving my flowers to his girlfriends. I never got all 12 roses from Rick...not one time.

So far this guy has done everything perfectly. I'm sort of waiting for the other shoe to drop. He calls me but not too often, he asks me out without hinting about coming into my house for anything other than to pick me up. I don't have to worry about this guy faking his way into my house to get "something for heartburn". That always ends with me trying to get some guy off of my couch and out the door. This one has been inside my house, but he hasn't sat down on anything. I appreciate that.


Don't you hate it when there's someone sitting on your furniture and they appear far too comfortable? When I want a guy to sit down, I'll let him know. And, if I want to, I'll sit on the couch with him. Otherwise I'll just sit on my blue recliner. When I'm ready, I'll sit on my couch and ask a man to join me. I like the ones who wait for me to do that instead of trying to claim me ASAP.

Anyway, this guy seems very, very nice. But they can fool you, can't they? The guys who seem the nicest can turn out to be the nuttiest. I'm not judging daisy dude...I'm just making an observation.

This year I've run into two frighteningly controlling men and both of them were as sweet as they could be when I met them.

One of them literally changed overnight after I made a commitment to him. That was my shortest commitment ever. That commitment didn't even make the blog before I realized what a mistake it was.

Until I met that guy, I never believed people who said, "He changed immediately after we got married." I figured that they had to be in some silly denial thing and after they got sick of the guy, they would make up that crazy line. How could anyone change overnight? Well, much to my surprise, people can.

I'm gonna call this guy Shrek. Shrek treated me so well that I was giddy. He was funny, bright and kind. And...he really, really seemed to like me. He would come up to me and hug me for no reason, he would make out with me until I would get stubble rash and he totally made me feel as though he was nuts about me. I fell for Shrek quickly, any woman would have.

Then, we had a conversation on a Tuesday night and as a result, we were "going steady" or whatever you can it when two full grown adults are committed but not married.

The next day, the hugs stopped, the conversations stopped...every single sign of the old relationship was gone. So was the nice guy who I had fallen for. There were still a few signs of some relationship...all the usual negative signs. The jealousy was there. The guy himself was there so I couldn't get a new one. The arguments were there. It was like having all of the bad parts of a relationship without any of the good parts.

No more hugging, no more making out, no more conversations...nothing that I had found so attractive in the first place. How in the HELL does something like that happen?

When I finally realized that it wasn't my imagination, I confronted him about the situation. The guy actually said, "That's when I was trying to land you. I've got you now, I don't need to do all of that stuff anymore."

When I called him on that, he tried to say that he was only kidding. But kidding or not, that was exactly what was happening.

Of course, like so many men do, he blamed it all on me and the way I was acting. I was just responding to the stranger in front of me...and trying to see if the other guy would come back. I had such hopes. I missed the other guy. This one wouldn't even hug me when I asked for a hug. Have you ever been refused a hug from the man who is supposed to care more about you than any other person on the planet? What in the heck is THAT all about? Even Rick never refused me a hug.

He also became very controlling very quickly. I had just noticed that my dog had fleas. He stopped off at the veterinarian's office to get some Frontline for my dog and I appreciated that. But, within a few days, the dog still was chewing himself bald patches and I couldn't stand it. So, I took some flea spray the vet had given me a long time ago and sprayed it on my dog.

The dog hates that stuff and runs around for a while after I put it on him. I sprayed the stuff on him once when Shrek was over and Shrek didn't like it. So, he stood up, walked past me and picked the spray up off of the table next to me. He did it quickly, obviously trying to be discreet but failing miserably. Then, he carried the stuff into my kitchen and poured it down my sink before I could stop him. I was stunned.

He justified what he did in a hundred ways but there was no excuse. That dog is mine and so was the spray. They both fall under the category of chattel and I own them both. He doesn't have to like what I do to my dog. If he has a problem with it he can call the cops...but he can't stop me.

If a guy will do that when you're just dating, can you imagine marriage to him? I get the shivering willies just thinking about that.

Anyway, if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes, I wouldn't have believed that a guy could change so quickly. But...this one did. Months of spending a LOT of time talking to this guy and I had no clue at all what he was capable of.

Of course, that guy never sent me flowers...the new guy did! Maybe that's a good sign. And of course, maybe it's not. But, I'm looking forward to finding out!

See ya!

Meg