On a Friday afternoon...

...in late January 2005, I began a blog. By the next Monday, my blog was the Cruel.com Web Site of the Day. I was certainly in a very "angry" phase when I created that blog. I called it Divorcing Rick.

I was angry for the usual bitter female reason, some bimbo stole my deceitful husband. Good for her. But, I still have some issues to work out.

I worked those issues out by telling the world that, "His penis is not only twisted, the head is smaller than the shaft. It looks kind of like a pencil with a worn out eraser." That was fun...and apparently, quite Cruel.
Within a few weeks, I received a phone call from a reporter from the Atlanta Journal Constitution and she wanted to do a story about blogging and she was going to mention me and mine in it.

The reporter asked me if Rick was aware of the blog and I said that I didn't know. I didn't. There was no contact at all during the time I began the blog. I think that the no contact thing is what prompted everything that I did after that. I was sick of being ignored. I was owed a proper farewell.

But once again, I digress. "Don't you think that you should call him to make sure that he doesn't find out from a reporter?"

I responded, "Yeah, I'll call him and tell him you'll be calling him soon."
My ass. I couldn't control much but I could control how he found out about my little blog. I liked the idea of him finding out like this, "Hello, Rick...this is a reporter from the AJC and we want your comment on the blog that your wife wrote about you and your penis?" Yeah, that was a nice visual. I pictured his stupid jaw dropped down to his chest and him inhaling deeply as he always has when he gets caught in a lie. What a bum and what a fool I was...but what can you do?

I did the best I could and at that time, the blog was it and I spent a lot of time at that instead of pacing in the house wringing my hands. So, as bad as the blog might have been, you see, I was better when I wrote it than I HAD been before. So, it's all a positive thing.

Rick never contacted me about the blog but he did toss vague, unfounded accusations at me when he spoke to the reporter. I wasn't surprised. He had to say something and he never thinks well on his feet. You can trip him up easily with one question.

Once he told me that he didn't know who belonged to the phone number on a piece of paper that I found in his pocket. I fell for it until I realized that I had the wrong area code. As I realized my mistake, Rick was speaking on the phone with his boss in Lynchburg. I realized that the number had to be a Lynchburg number and when it dawned on me I said, "Oh my God, I had the wrong area code...it's not a local number."
My idiot, lying husband inhaled deeply and swallowed hard. He was as guilty as he was the time that he gave me 11 roses. He bought a dozen but gave one to his mistress. What a peach.

So, the blog had an auspicious entry into Rick's life and I liked that. I would not go gently into that good night. My marriage was my own piece of eternity and he took that away from me. The promise of forever is broken and that's the worst part. So, as I said, I became quite bitter. I'm still not completely finished with that.

So, I just tell the world, daily, what it's like being attached to a man going in one direction and all of a sudden, that plan is all gone. I had to hit the brakes with very little warning so I did a bit of tumbling there for a while. I was rather caustic but honest. Always honest. I could tell the truth as long as it was the truth.

When you can tell the truth you can toss a little bomb at people who's relationship's are built on deception. It's rather fun and I highly recommend it.

After the article came out in the newspaper, a few other papers picked the article up off of the wires. The story was spreading around. I liked that. The feedback I got was wonderful. I heard from every person out there who understood what I meant when I listed People I Hate and included, "All of the stupid, mindless twits that tell me to "get over it". There were a few of those people but for the most part, the feedback is overwhelmingly positive.

The people who wrote to me were my inspiration. I knew they were there and I knew they understood what I was going through when I wrote some of the tings that I wrote. And, I wrote some rather venomous things...all true...about the people who murdered my way of life. Don't worry, I don't get violent. I don't stalk anybody...I'm perfectly harmless but it wouldn't surprise me if I was on a list somewhere in the government's highest security files.

The worst thing I can do is use the truth to my advantage so I like to be honest about everything. That way, I don't have to worry about being on Oprah and having a man come out from back stage who could peg me for a sexual "offense" and that would automatically equalize my culpability in the death of the marriage. The only way I could use the truth was to be relatively good and to never be afraid to tell the truth when it IS a bit bad. That's the secret.

So, I told the truth. Of course, I was also able to speak my opinion, which is what I did when I wrote of my estranged husband:

"...He is a self-made man who worships his creator. A self-made man who is a classic example of unskilled labor. He's a man with no enemies but intensely disliked by his friends. He's a man who loves nature in spite of what his has done to him. I don't know the technical term for his problem but the common description is delusions of adequacy. But there isn't anything wrong with him that re-incarnation wouldn't cure. When he moved from Arkansas to New York, he lowered the IQ in both states. He is a reminder to the ladies that you never know what will come up out of the ground when it rains..."

Well, yeah, I told you that I was bitter.