A man who's wife...
...is sleeping with another man has been e-mailing me for a few weeks. His story is very interesting because his wife doesn't know that he is aware of her indiscretion yet. He is a professional and a "relatively well off" guy so he has the brains and the resources to do this properly.
They have a pre-nup and if he can prove that she was unfaithful, she gets nothing. I like that. And, like cheating men, the women also seem to believe that they're better at lying than they really are. After a while, cheaters get so careless that they stop looking over their shoulders and that's when they get caught. This woman has a lot to lose and as bad as it is to cheat on a poor man, it's downright STUPID to cheat on a guy with a lot of cash.
My friend (let's call him Joe) will do well in the long run but naturally, he's still reeling from the shock of the betrayal. I got a pretty sad e-mail from him today and in it he asked me if there was "anything even remotely positive" that comes out of a situation like this one. I thought about it for a while and then I answered his question. I asked him if I could share this with you guys and he said yes so here is my answer to Joe:
Dear Joe,
"...and then your question made me think. Of course, my immediate answer to it was, "OMG YES!" and I instantly came up with a list of great things that have happened since my "shithead" finally took his cheating ass out of my life. It was the only decent thing that he ever did for me.
But then I thought about how down you are today and I didn't think that I would answer you that way. I remembered the ache of the deception and realized that even to this day, Rick has never told me the truth. We never even discuss it anymore, I have long ago given up trying to get the truth out of him. If he could do that, I could shake his hand, wish him well and get on with my life. But, he won't give me that one thing. It's all I ever wanted and it's something that I fear I'll never have. I think you may be one of the few people who understand why that's so important to me. It would take a minute out of his life but he's obviously far too selfish to do that.
But, to answer the question, I still say that yes, there is one very positive thing that has already come out of this situation...you have been hurt as badly as you could have been. The worst is over. It's happened. The most hideous thing that you could have imagined has happened. There isn't a damned thing left that she can do to hurt you. It all gets better from here on out. Rick only left once, but when he did, there wasn't one thing that he could do to me that could possibly hurt me anymore than he already had. So, I had that "freedom" that Janis Joplin sang about when she said, "Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose."
That really is a good place to operate from. Once someone has left you with nothing else to lose, you can do whatever you want to do and it doesn't matter. People are so stupid when they play their king of spades before the ace has been played. I love it when someone does that to me...especially if they ever want another thing from me...even patience. I don't have to give it to them. They no longer have a bit of power left...they have a hand with no spades and I have a handful of trump cards. Think about it like that for a while and you'll see what I mean.
Now, don't YOU be that stupid. Always hold a little back. If you totally sever all ties with a person, they have no interest in treating you decently.There's no reason left for them to even bother. So, be sure that you have at least a couple of low trump in your hand..."
The rest of that e-mail was personal but I think you get the point. If someone has totally rocked your world, look at the freedom that you now have. You don't have to worry about anything anymore. It's a very good feeling if you use it to your own advantage. It's all in your perspective.
Meg
...is sleeping with another man has been e-mailing me for a few weeks. His story is very interesting because his wife doesn't know that he is aware of her indiscretion yet. He is a professional and a "relatively well off" guy so he has the brains and the resources to do this properly.
They have a pre-nup and if he can prove that she was unfaithful, she gets nothing. I like that. And, like cheating men, the women also seem to believe that they're better at lying than they really are. After a while, cheaters get so careless that they stop looking over their shoulders and that's when they get caught. This woman has a lot to lose and as bad as it is to cheat on a poor man, it's downright STUPID to cheat on a guy with a lot of cash.
My friend (let's call him Joe) will do well in the long run but naturally, he's still reeling from the shock of the betrayal. I got a pretty sad e-mail from him today and in it he asked me if there was "anything even remotely positive" that comes out of a situation like this one. I thought about it for a while and then I answered his question. I asked him if I could share this with you guys and he said yes so here is my answer to Joe:
Dear Joe,
"...and then your question made me think. Of course, my immediate answer to it was, "OMG YES!" and I instantly came up with a list of great things that have happened since my "shithead" finally took his cheating ass out of my life. It was the only decent thing that he ever did for me.
But then I thought about how down you are today and I didn't think that I would answer you that way. I remembered the ache of the deception and realized that even to this day, Rick has never told me the truth. We never even discuss it anymore, I have long ago given up trying to get the truth out of him. If he could do that, I could shake his hand, wish him well and get on with my life. But, he won't give me that one thing. It's all I ever wanted and it's something that I fear I'll never have. I think you may be one of the few people who understand why that's so important to me. It would take a minute out of his life but he's obviously far too selfish to do that.
But, to answer the question, I still say that yes, there is one very positive thing that has already come out of this situation...you have been hurt as badly as you could have been. The worst is over. It's happened. The most hideous thing that you could have imagined has happened. There isn't a damned thing left that she can do to hurt you. It all gets better from here on out. Rick only left once, but when he did, there wasn't one thing that he could do to me that could possibly hurt me anymore than he already had. So, I had that "freedom" that Janis Joplin sang about when she said, "Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose."
That really is a good place to operate from. Once someone has left you with nothing else to lose, you can do whatever you want to do and it doesn't matter. People are so stupid when they play their king of spades before the ace has been played. I love it when someone does that to me...especially if they ever want another thing from me...even patience. I don't have to give it to them. They no longer have a bit of power left...they have a hand with no spades and I have a handful of trump cards. Think about it like that for a while and you'll see what I mean.
Now, don't YOU be that stupid. Always hold a little back. If you totally sever all ties with a person, they have no interest in treating you decently.There's no reason left for them to even bother. So, be sure that you have at least a couple of low trump in your hand..."
The rest of that e-mail was personal but I think you get the point. If someone has totally rocked your world, look at the freedom that you now have. You don't have to worry about anything anymore. It's a very good feeling if you use it to your own advantage. It's all in your perspective.
Meg
posted by Meg Kelso | 2:05 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home