Someone thought that...
...my missing kitchen curtains were funny. NOW I think it's a little funny...but when it happened...I was just very confused and irritated. I returned from a month long visit to New Jersey and when I got home...my kitchen curtains were gone. Not just one window...two of them were naked. And my son had NO idea where they were.
Now...am I suppopsed to believe that some evil Martha Stewart woman broke into my house and stole my curtains right off the windows? Or maybe some band of gay decorating guys with no cash did it because they saw the curtains from outside and HAD to have them.
When I was in high school, I was dating a guy who was in college. His parents went to Europe for two weeks and naturally, my boyfriend had a huge party. Someone...we don't know who...dropped a cigarette down in the living room couch and started a fire on it. After we put out the fire...we did what any group of kids would do...we turned the cushion over and shut up.
Years later when I asked the guy if his parents ever found out about the couch...he said that he and his sister told his parents years after it happened. They all had a laugh over it then. But in the meantime, they went out of their way to see to it that no one ever had a reason to flip those cushions.
Maybe my son will tell me what happened to my curtains one day. Before I figured out that they were just GONE...he acted like they were just lost somewhere in the house.
"I took them down to clean them...they're here somewhere."
Yeah...right. All young men take their mother's kitchen curtains down to clean them when mom is away...I'll buy that. The fool actually pretended to LOOK for the curtains a few times before I gave up asking him where they went. When I realized that they were just GONE...I asked him to look for them a few times just to watch him waste HIS time looking for them like he let me do.
This kid is twice my size and he still bothers lying to me. I stopped lying to my parents when I realized that I was too big to spank. I had no reason to lie then...I actually enjoyed being an adult and telling them the truth. I had this, "Damn the torpedoes" attitude when I grew up that made me enjoy telling the truth and then sitting back and watching them deal with it.
It's not like I would spank him...I didn't even spank him when he was little so I have no clue why the kid would lie to me. Maybe it's the years he spent being raised by the master liar...Rick. Rick would deny anything unless I had a very clear video tape of him committing the crime that I was accusing him of. He still denys screwing Gail Glenn...hell...what in the world is he worried about now? There isn't a damn thing I could do...as a matter of fact, it would just make me respect him if he told me the truth. But, I won't hold my breathe.
He stopped sending me checks last year...he just sends money orders for the alimony. Now, why would he do that? I know. There's only one reason that he would be afraid to send me checks...another name on them. But, he still says that he lives alone (with his son) and his life consists of work and taking care of his sick father. Yeah...right.
But...for whatever reason, that man will not tell me the truth at all. I don't care one little bit...but he must think that I do. Maybe he thinks that if he told me the truth...I would come after him even harder for the alimony and the insurance. But I wouldn't. It would make me so happy not to be lied to anymore that I would actually APPRECIATE the truth...but he can't do that. Maybe he tells other people the truth...but he is SO used to lying to me that he just sits back and sends money orders instead of checks...hoping that I never find out things that I already know. Whatever.
So...Rick's new "woman that doesn't exist" and my kitchen curatins are now a mystery to me. They are mysteries that other people know the answer to...but for some reason they don't want me to know. I stopped looking for the stupid curtains months ago and I stopped waiting for the truth from Rick years ago. But...I must say, I am curious. Not about Rick, I have that one figured out...but I'd LOVE to know what happened to those kicthen curtains.
Now...I'm going to take the towel down off of the window above my computer. Let him wonder who's looking in at him when he plays on the computer. I think I'm going to borrow $125 from him. That's what the curtains cost. Then, when he wants me to pay him back...I'll just say..."I did pay you back...I put the money on the window sill...didn't you see it?"
OK then...now I'm going to shower and go to work. The bathroom has mini-blinds...thank God.
See ya!
Meg
...my missing kitchen curtains were funny. NOW I think it's a little funny...but when it happened...I was just very confused and irritated. I returned from a month long visit to New Jersey and when I got home...my kitchen curtains were gone. Not just one window...two of them were naked. And my son had NO idea where they were.
Now...am I suppopsed to believe that some evil Martha Stewart woman broke into my house and stole my curtains right off the windows? Or maybe some band of gay decorating guys with no cash did it because they saw the curtains from outside and HAD to have them.
When I was in high school, I was dating a guy who was in college. His parents went to Europe for two weeks and naturally, my boyfriend had a huge party. Someone...we don't know who...dropped a cigarette down in the living room couch and started a fire on it. After we put out the fire...we did what any group of kids would do...we turned the cushion over and shut up.
Years later when I asked the guy if his parents ever found out about the couch...he said that he and his sister told his parents years after it happened. They all had a laugh over it then. But in the meantime, they went out of their way to see to it that no one ever had a reason to flip those cushions.
Maybe my son will tell me what happened to my curtains one day. Before I figured out that they were just GONE...he acted like they were just lost somewhere in the house.
"I took them down to clean them...they're here somewhere."
Yeah...right. All young men take their mother's kitchen curtains down to clean them when mom is away...I'll buy that. The fool actually pretended to LOOK for the curtains a few times before I gave up asking him where they went. When I realized that they were just GONE...I asked him to look for them a few times just to watch him waste HIS time looking for them like he let me do.
This kid is twice my size and he still bothers lying to me. I stopped lying to my parents when I realized that I was too big to spank. I had no reason to lie then...I actually enjoyed being an adult and telling them the truth. I had this, "Damn the torpedoes" attitude when I grew up that made me enjoy telling the truth and then sitting back and watching them deal with it.
It's not like I would spank him...I didn't even spank him when he was little so I have no clue why the kid would lie to me. Maybe it's the years he spent being raised by the master liar...Rick. Rick would deny anything unless I had a very clear video tape of him committing the crime that I was accusing him of. He still denys screwing Gail Glenn...hell...what in the world is he worried about now? There isn't a damn thing I could do...as a matter of fact, it would just make me respect him if he told me the truth. But, I won't hold my breathe.
He stopped sending me checks last year...he just sends money orders for the alimony. Now, why would he do that? I know. There's only one reason that he would be afraid to send me checks...another name on them. But, he still says that he lives alone (with his son) and his life consists of work and taking care of his sick father. Yeah...right.
But...for whatever reason, that man will not tell me the truth at all. I don't care one little bit...but he must think that I do. Maybe he thinks that if he told me the truth...I would come after him even harder for the alimony and the insurance. But I wouldn't. It would make me so happy not to be lied to anymore that I would actually APPRECIATE the truth...but he can't do that. Maybe he tells other people the truth...but he is SO used to lying to me that he just sits back and sends money orders instead of checks...hoping that I never find out things that I already know. Whatever.
So...Rick's new "woman that doesn't exist" and my kitchen curatins are now a mystery to me. They are mysteries that other people know the answer to...but for some reason they don't want me to know. I stopped looking for the stupid curtains months ago and I stopped waiting for the truth from Rick years ago. But...I must say, I am curious. Not about Rick, I have that one figured out...but I'd LOVE to know what happened to those kicthen curtains.
Now...I'm going to take the towel down off of the window above my computer. Let him wonder who's looking in at him when he plays on the computer. I think I'm going to borrow $125 from him. That's what the curtains cost. Then, when he wants me to pay him back...I'll just say..."I did pay you back...I put the money on the window sill...didn't you see it?"
OK then...now I'm going to shower and go to work. The bathroom has mini-blinds...thank God.
See ya!
Meg
posted by Meg Kelso | 2:27 PM
3 Comments:
this post is way too funny. Reminds me of when I was a little girl, on one 4th of July, my brother and I were punished so we couldn't go out to do the fireworks. That didn't stop us from sneaking outside to buy them.
When my mom and her sisters went out to the beach, my brother and I blew them inside the house,when my sister wasnt' looking but the curtains caught fire. My big sister, who was the babysitter immediately changed the curtains - funny though, that was the first thing my mom noticed when she got home. Of course the 3 of us, including my big 'ol sis got an ass whuppin' :) lol
LOLOL...kids are so stupid...or maybe they think parents are the idots. Of course your mother noticed the curtains immediately...we go to a lot of trouble picking them out and hanging them just so...how could we not notice the curtains missing?
I had a baby sitter once who had a party and let me stay up "as long as I didn't tell my parents". Well, I didn't...until they noticed a cigarette burn on the couch. They asked me and I HAD to tell them. I lived in the same house that they lived in so they got the truth. I would have gotten the ass-whoopin' if I hadn't told the truth. Fireworks in the house...only a bunch of girls would do that. LOL.
Meg
OH! Your brother was involved...well maybe he was around too many girls. I would have though a brother would go outside with the fireworks! Oh well. My curtains are still gone.
Meg
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