Meg...
"...I read that people behave the way Lisa did because their subconscience perception is that if they lose the love object, then they will perish..."
I think the fear is also of the unknown, life without the object of your affection. My life was changed in so many ways that it's barely recognizable from the life I led before the last affair. Very little is the same. I am alone most of the time...although I've learned to appreciate that, it isn't what I had planned when I said, "Til death do us part." I meant that and I counted on it. I was with Rick for almost my entire adult life and I didn't know a life without him in it. I couldn't imagine what I would do without him, everything in my entire world was planned around Rick, based on us as a couple. From the house we lived in to the way I spent my evenings...my life was based upon the premise that I was a married woman with a partner that I would be sharing my entire life with. My biggest fear was the day that one of us buried the other. You start to think like that after 20 years or so. You believe that you are married and accept that you owe a certain consideration to one other person.
When your entire world is ripped out from under you...to whom does one complain? If you stole my car, burnt down my house or broke into my house, the cops would come after you. None of those things is as devastating as losing the person with whom you face all of life's trials and tribulations. Half of your strength is stolen right then and there. Now you're left to think as a single person, live as a single person and deal with life's bullshit alone. There isn't a warrant you can swear out if someone steals your husband. That's an awful feeling and some of us can handle it better than others.
Luckily, most of us think this way:
"...I'm not gonna snap though, no sir, not me. Too stubborn. Oh, and jail time, I like my freedom too much..."
Oh yeah, that'll keep me honest. That and my abiding faith in karma. I love watching it in action. They even knew about karma in Biblical days, they just refered to it as "reaping what you sow".
There are so many wrongs that can be softened by the legal system, but this devastating life disaster cannot be. There's not a thing that you can do about it so you just have to sit back and take the pain and learn to live a totally different life than the one you knew and expected to be living. But first, the phases you need to go to are pretty much like Kubler-Ross's 5 stages of grieving. And during the anger phase, some people lose it.
Personally, I started the blog. I slammed Rick on this thing. I was very, very angry. Could you tell?
Meg:)
"...I read that people behave the way Lisa did because their subconscience perception is that if they lose the love object, then they will perish..."
I think the fear is also of the unknown, life without the object of your affection. My life was changed in so many ways that it's barely recognizable from the life I led before the last affair. Very little is the same. I am alone most of the time...although I've learned to appreciate that, it isn't what I had planned when I said, "Til death do us part." I meant that and I counted on it. I was with Rick for almost my entire adult life and I didn't know a life without him in it. I couldn't imagine what I would do without him, everything in my entire world was planned around Rick, based on us as a couple. From the house we lived in to the way I spent my evenings...my life was based upon the premise that I was a married woman with a partner that I would be sharing my entire life with. My biggest fear was the day that one of us buried the other. You start to think like that after 20 years or so. You believe that you are married and accept that you owe a certain consideration to one other person.
When your entire world is ripped out from under you...to whom does one complain? If you stole my car, burnt down my house or broke into my house, the cops would come after you. None of those things is as devastating as losing the person with whom you face all of life's trials and tribulations. Half of your strength is stolen right then and there. Now you're left to think as a single person, live as a single person and deal with life's bullshit alone. There isn't a warrant you can swear out if someone steals your husband. That's an awful feeling and some of us can handle it better than others.
Luckily, most of us think this way:
"...I'm not gonna snap though, no sir, not me. Too stubborn. Oh, and jail time, I like my freedom too much..."
Oh yeah, that'll keep me honest. That and my abiding faith in karma. I love watching it in action. They even knew about karma in Biblical days, they just refered to it as "reaping what you sow".
There are so many wrongs that can be softened by the legal system, but this devastating life disaster cannot be. There's not a thing that you can do about it so you just have to sit back and take the pain and learn to live a totally different life than the one you knew and expected to be living. But first, the phases you need to go to are pretty much like Kubler-Ross's 5 stages of grieving. And during the anger phase, some people lose it.
Personally, I started the blog. I slammed Rick on this thing. I was very, very angry. Could you tell?
Meg:)
posted by Meg Kelso | 12:07 PM
3 Comments:
Looking back, Rick's leaving was a good thing. You have been through many trials, but now, I have seen you grow and blossom.
You are a special person Meg, and I am happy to know you.
I just read something today that stuck a chord with me...
Time doesn't heal all wounds. God heals all wounds in time.
I like that. Seems appropriate somehow.
Hoots,
Thank you so very much for the kind words...that meant a lot to me!
And Jadette,
You're right, that does sound more likely.
As hard as it was when Rick left, I know it was for the best. I don't have to like it, I don't like spinach but it's good for me. I've certainly run the gamut of emotions...I'm not sure if I'm settled down now or in another phase. But, I'll find out!
Meg
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