Meg,
"...it's amazing how common human behavior is. I used to ask my husband if he loved me, and he used to tell me, "of course I love you, and I love spending weekends together with you".All of a sudden when I found out about the affair, I became the most disgusting thing to him. Where the hell do they get all that sudden anger from?? Why are they so angry, we weren't the ones who did the bad deed - thye were!..."
It comes from their guilt. They need to see you as evil so that they can convince themselves that you deserve to be treated like dirt. After all, if it isn't your fault, that leaves him. And he's not gonna admit he's wrong becuase if he does, he can't screw his wopig without guilt.
Their stupid pea brains will tell them anything that they need to hear to justify what they're doing. I didn't stay with Rick because he was a jerk...most of the time he adored me and acted like it. When I was nothing but a road block to the new road he wanted to take, I became the object of his contempt and that meant that I deserved to be dumped on. So, dump he did.
And he didn't just dump on me, he promised that if I was "good", he would act like he loved me again. After all, everything was my fault anyway, remember? But, nothing I did was good enough, he just kept raising the hoops higher and higher and like an idiot, I kept trying to jump through them. The main hoop was that I couldn't say anything about my suspicions of the affair. That was a deal breaker. Basically, I was supposed to sit back and quietly accept his bimbo. What a jerk I was. I did try, but I couldn't do it...the signs were too obvious and in my face.
Oh well, if you're going through this now, remember, karma is a bitch and you need to celibrate losing such a cowardly, sadistic, asshole.
Meg
"...it's amazing how common human behavior is. I used to ask my husband if he loved me, and he used to tell me, "of course I love you, and I love spending weekends together with you".All of a sudden when I found out about the affair, I became the most disgusting thing to him. Where the hell do they get all that sudden anger from?? Why are they so angry, we weren't the ones who did the bad deed - thye were!..."
It comes from their guilt. They need to see you as evil so that they can convince themselves that you deserve to be treated like dirt. After all, if it isn't your fault, that leaves him. And he's not gonna admit he's wrong becuase if he does, he can't screw his wopig without guilt.
Their stupid pea brains will tell them anything that they need to hear to justify what they're doing. I didn't stay with Rick because he was a jerk...most of the time he adored me and acted like it. When I was nothing but a road block to the new road he wanted to take, I became the object of his contempt and that meant that I deserved to be dumped on. So, dump he did.
And he didn't just dump on me, he promised that if I was "good", he would act like he loved me again. After all, everything was my fault anyway, remember? But, nothing I did was good enough, he just kept raising the hoops higher and higher and like an idiot, I kept trying to jump through them. The main hoop was that I couldn't say anything about my suspicions of the affair. That was a deal breaker. Basically, I was supposed to sit back and quietly accept his bimbo. What a jerk I was. I did try, but I couldn't do it...the signs were too obvious and in my face.
Oh well, if you're going through this now, remember, karma is a bitch and you need to celibrate losing such a cowardly, sadistic, asshole.
Meg
posted by Meg Kelso | 10:01 AM
5 Comments:
it just amazes me how human behavior is so alike! wow.
My husband also had me jump through hoops - although my jumping only lasted for a week. He said that if I want him to stay, that I would have to do EVERYTHING aroudn the house. He also said that he needs to feel as if he is the most utmost important thing in my life. He was so angry when he said those things, but I was so stupid - I started to clean the house every single day for him, and I even withdrew my application from graduate school just to be with him - then a freakin' week later he left me anyway.
I get so damn angry when I think about the complete moron I made myself out to be.
I figured out this much by now: If a man really loves you, he will try to bring down the moon for you. If a man becomes very demanding, then that means that he's not in love with you and wants to lose you. Period! That's just the way they are.
Meg,
Jumping through hoops, obvious signs...
As far as I know John didn't cheat on me, but I can still relate to what you're saying. I think I finally see the truth for what it is now. You were right, I think I knew it [the truth] all along. It was like a train wreck waiting to happen. I think I finally reached my breaking point. The comment my mom made really drove the point home. I know what I need to do now. Wish me luck.
Cheryl
I've been reading your blog for along time now and I really enjoy it. You write so well, and you crack me up! I've been dying for an update on the convo you had with the father who was a defendant in the abuse case. Please update when you can!
Meg, as usual hit it right on the head. There is no way to piss someone off better than catch them in the act and hold a mirror to their behavior so they see how hideous they are. If you call them something that's bad. But if you catch them, that's worse because they see themselves as guilty unless they lash back at the one who is causing them to see themselves for who they are. (Hmm, that was a ramble, Meg said it better).
Sol, since I know you, I know when you said "That's just the way they are" that you meant the "gender neutral-they". I usually pull Meg's leg, now I'm pulling yours. (grin).
It's just too bad that this "human behavior" is so "common". Commitment is a lost art. We live in a truly disposable society, even love and marriage. How sad!
oh JQ - I didn't mean it that way. When I was engaged, I broke off the engagement because I was afraid to commit. My then fiancee (my current stbx) told me that he was hurt, and that he would do anything if I'd marry him. He told me that he'd do whatever and whenever.
Yet, 11 years later when he decided to leave me, it was the complete opposite. To keep him, I would have to do whatever and whenever. lol
Post a Comment
<< Home