I just got home from work...
...and I'm too exhausted to think of anything at all except going to sleep. So, since I didn't want you to have nothing Meggish for today, I decided to rerun a post that I wrote a couple of years ago. Here it is:
Oh my word...
...Funny we were just speaking about Fahrenheit 451 and the way that Bradbury was warning us about a time when everything that is said or written is offensive to someone, I made the point that WE ARE AT 451!
Well, this evening I heard on the news that Ireland is banning the word “brainstorming” because it may offend epileptics. But, don’t worry, they have a replacement idiom for those who might dare to brainstorm and then discuss it.... “Thought showers.” Some of you have heard that as well and the rest of you are thinking that I must be making this up. Oh, I wish I were...it’s pretty funny until you realize that someone is serious about this. They took time out of the job that they get paid to do and they made the decision that to brainstorm was an offensive thing. Well, I submit that these people have a brain cloud and far too much spare time on their hands.
Besides, they have stopped far short of their mission. There is still the possibility that some thoughtless dietician might see fit to serve kidney beans to a dialysis patient or liver and onions to someone with sclerosis. And how dare we worry about the “legs” on our tables while so many people have casts on their own lower appendages. We should have “artichoke focal points” instead of artichoke hearts and “lady digits” instead of lady fingers in case an arthritic cardiac patient should read a menu. While we make those changes, we should also strike sweet onions (diabetics), Po’ Boys (welfare recipients) and jelly rolls (men with love handles) as well. We also need to stop using terms like “Flaky Pastry Dough, (that one offends me personally) “pot roast”...might give the kids ideas. And one more thing: Don’t you think that “fruit” and “nuts” are outmoded, archaic utterances? And how could we be so insensitive as to use the word “bladder” right out loud instead of “receptacle of a liquid” while so many women are buying Depends nowadays? And you know, I have hay fever so I resent being given a “nose gay”...what would a lesbian with a cold think of such a thing?
My legs were very long and very thin when hot pants were fashionable and I consider it an affront to hear the word “sticks”. It takes me back to a time that I would just as soon forget. I think I should discuss this with an attorney, nobody knows the trouble I’ve seen, nobody knows my sorrow.
There is very little verbal territory that wouldn’t be offensive to someone, I think we should use hand signals from now on rather than to risk being attacked by daily onslaughts of such dogmatist terms as short ribs, ugly ducklings and heavy duty.
I think things have gone a bit too far when a man can lose his job and reputation after using a term like “niggardly” simply because it SOUNDS like an offensive term. Oh, wait, the “N” word can’t be offensive, so many minorities use the word themselves. Chris Rock can say it over and over again in one evening but I would imagine that Jerry Seinfeld would have a tough time working it into a joke. So, people aren’t really censoring the word itself, they are actually just censoring who can and cannot say it with immunity.
What an interesting world it is that we live in.
Well, I hope that those Irish folks are doing well after their Thought Shower...I for one feel safer knowing that such an inflammatory word has been replaced. I’m sure that the English language is now safe and sensitive....yeah, fat chance. Ooh...my bad...did I just offend overweight people? Yikes, I'll have to be more thoughtful in the future.
Have a lovely day!
Meg
...and I'm too exhausted to think of anything at all except going to sleep. So, since I didn't want you to have nothing Meggish for today, I decided to rerun a post that I wrote a couple of years ago. Here it is:
Oh my word...
...Funny we were just speaking about Fahrenheit 451 and the way that Bradbury was warning us about a time when everything that is said or written is offensive to someone, I made the point that WE ARE AT 451!
Well, this evening I heard on the news that Ireland is banning the word “brainstorming” because it may offend epileptics. But, don’t worry, they have a replacement idiom for those who might dare to brainstorm and then discuss it.... “Thought showers.” Some of you have heard that as well and the rest of you are thinking that I must be making this up. Oh, I wish I were...it’s pretty funny until you realize that someone is serious about this. They took time out of the job that they get paid to do and they made the decision that to brainstorm was an offensive thing. Well, I submit that these people have a brain cloud and far too much spare time on their hands.
Besides, they have stopped far short of their mission. There is still the possibility that some thoughtless dietician might see fit to serve kidney beans to a dialysis patient or liver and onions to someone with sclerosis. And how dare we worry about the “legs” on our tables while so many people have casts on their own lower appendages. We should have “artichoke focal points” instead of artichoke hearts and “lady digits” instead of lady fingers in case an arthritic cardiac patient should read a menu. While we make those changes, we should also strike sweet onions (diabetics), Po’ Boys (welfare recipients) and jelly rolls (men with love handles) as well. We also need to stop using terms like “Flaky Pastry Dough, (that one offends me personally) “pot roast”...might give the kids ideas. And one more thing: Don’t you think that “fruit” and “nuts” are outmoded, archaic utterances? And how could we be so insensitive as to use the word “bladder” right out loud instead of “receptacle of a liquid” while so many women are buying Depends nowadays? And you know, I have hay fever so I resent being given a “nose gay”...what would a lesbian with a cold think of such a thing?
My legs were very long and very thin when hot pants were fashionable and I consider it an affront to hear the word “sticks”. It takes me back to a time that I would just as soon forget. I think I should discuss this with an attorney, nobody knows the trouble I’ve seen, nobody knows my sorrow.
There is very little verbal territory that wouldn’t be offensive to someone, I think we should use hand signals from now on rather than to risk being attacked by daily onslaughts of such dogmatist terms as short ribs, ugly ducklings and heavy duty.
I think things have gone a bit too far when a man can lose his job and reputation after using a term like “niggardly” simply because it SOUNDS like an offensive term. Oh, wait, the “N” word can’t be offensive, so many minorities use the word themselves. Chris Rock can say it over and over again in one evening but I would imagine that Jerry Seinfeld would have a tough time working it into a joke. So, people aren’t really censoring the word itself, they are actually just censoring who can and cannot say it with immunity.
What an interesting world it is that we live in.
Well, I hope that those Irish folks are doing well after their Thought Shower...I for one feel safer knowing that such an inflammatory word has been replaced. I’m sure that the English language is now safe and sensitive....yeah, fat chance. Ooh...my bad...did I just offend overweight people? Yikes, I'll have to be more thoughtful in the future.
Have a lovely day!
Meg
posted by Meg Kelso | 6:00 AM
1 Comments:
I coudn't agree more.
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