Today makes 3 years…

…to the day since Rick left. A lot has happened in that time…but one thing hasn’t…I still keep my heart all locked up. Is there anyone out there who USED to feel like that and then changed? I’m pretty sure there’s a lot of people who still have that sucker under lock and key…but has anyone out there ever opened it up again?

I can’t imagine ever feeling like I did again. You know, when you actually go into another room to take time to think about another person? And the whole time you’re doing it…you smile? It’s a great feeling…you couldn’t be more secure because you know that you will never, ever…under any circumstances, be alone again. You totally trust your life to another person and you don’t fear it one little bit because you know that they will always be there, so there will always be someone who considers you the most important person in the world. That corny “man who would fight for your honor” is right next to you…and you know that he’s gonna be there like you know the sun is gonna come up in the morning.

Do you get that more than once?

Oh…fuck it. That’s depressing and I refuse to be depressed. I wasn’t depressed when I woke up…but I realized the date and had to mention that crap. OK…now I’m turning on my iTunes list. Bruce Springsteen…yeah, he’s a happy little man, isn’t he? This is the album he write when he was cheating on his first wife. It’s pretty obvious…if I were her, I think I would have figured it out after hearing the Tunnel of Love album. He was my idol when I was young…how disappointing it is that even Bruce cheated. He’s the one who said, “Man turns his back on his family…he ain’t no friend of mine…” Yeah…right. Sellout.

Yesterday I was listening to the Top 100 One Hit Wonders on and off all day. That was fun. I took down a list of songs I need to download. Can you imagine an entire CD with Debbie Boone, The Starland Vocal Band, Vanilla Ice and the dude who sang Me and Mrs. Jones?
OMG…Me and Mrs. Jones…adultery again. It’s everywhere I look.

Shit…I DARE a man to be faithful. (Yeah, I know you’re not all bums…just leave me alone while I’m in this mood.)

I’d like to have a contest to see how many men could be faithful to me but that would imply that I would have to have a bunch in the running at the same time. They might not like that. I would. As they cheated, they would get dumped and the last man standing is the one I keep.

I was talking to a guy yesterday who said something that I’ve heard many men say….”A woman can get laid easily, all she has to do is go to a bar.” I’ve been to bars. Have you seen what they keep there? The ones without wedding rings have them locked in their glove compartments. The ones that aren’t married are alcoholics. Neither one of those groups of men are going to be faithful…so they don’t count. I learned that in the 80’s. Yeah…you could get laid…but then the guy would have to wash his face and run home to his wife…or pass out on your couch and never leave. Neither scenario is one that I relish.

I’d go to church but that seems like an awfully tacky reason to get dressed up on a Sunday morning. Those guys might be faithful…if you stay out of Mormon churches…or Baptist…hell, none of them are faithful.

Oh well. I guess I could just find one, assume he’s cheating and cheat right back on him…ya think? No, that wouldn’t work for the reasons I mentioned above…why would I want more than one jerk? Nobody ever sang about “One MORE Egg to Fry.” Forget that idea.

You know…music has a nice effect on you at times. I’m listening to Pink Cadillac and I LOVE that song. Now I feel much better. The only thing I need now is to find someone who can pick me up and take me for a ride today. I feel like driving up the highway for about two hours listening to music. That shouldn’t be tough. Of course I could always just dance in my kitchen, the dog likes that. If I play music and stand up…he expects to dance. I have to lead but he does follow quite well. OK then.

I’m outta here, I’ll be back before I leave the house.

See ya,

Meg