Regarding the book I'm reading...

...called "Who Cut the Cheese":

"That's a a great book John!My bro-in-law read it out loud tom the whole family on vacation and we almost died laughing!"

Yep, it is an hysterical book. Not only is it funny, it's quite literally quite educational. If you've ever wondered about farts and their history, that book is a must read. Not to mention a GREAT gift idea for the farter in your family.

I had a few of them in my own family. Here's a short story that I write regarding the farters that I've been subjected to:


There has always been a farting man in my life. When I was a little girl, my grandfather, a very successful businessman, would read the paper in his recliner at night and literally lift his leg and fart with no shame or “Excuse Me.”

Of course, when I got a little older, my brothers got a thrill out of farting. I left home and got married so I immediately had a farter of my own. Then, without missing a beat, I married again and had another farter. I swear to God, I had that one convinced that women just don’t fart.

Next, I was single for a few years but I was working as a nurse so I saw a lot of stuff much worse than farts. Then, I met the fartmaster. When my oldest son attained a certain age, he developed a fascination with farting that he pretty much still has. He laughs pretty damn hard at his own farts, but you can irritate the hell out of him by farting back at him.

When he and Rick where both living with me, it was one great big fart-a-rama. A few years ago, I was in New York and I had this great beef sandwich with peppers...three kinds. I went into the restroom and noticed what a hideous bouquet that sandwich had summoned. I smiled. I began developing my stratagem.

It was so marvelously brilliant and the timing couldn't have been better. They were both in the living room watching television. I went back into the living room and sat down as though all was right with the world. Serenely secure in my evil scheme, I withheld the pressure that was my vengeance for the years of anguish to which I had been subjected by the fartmaster and his little partner in crime. I smiled cunningly as I remembered the silence that preceded the appalling stench. I knew that there would be no forewarning for my victims. I waited until just the right moment and unleashed what had to have been the most foul, repugnant, revolting “silent but deadly” that I had ever had the misfortune of suffering. And then I sat back and watched the consequences of my reprisal ensue. It was breathtaking...literally.

When the effects of my opus first reached their noses, they immediately glanced, accusedly, at each other. Then, they inhaled again. Oh, it was magnificent. I laughed so hard that I immediately gave myself away. They both actually got up off of their chairs. The looks on their faces were identical and said the same thing, “How can I leave the presence of this gruesome entity?” Their eyes went back and forth as though they were looking for an exit. You would have thought that they were a couple of mice in the presence of a lion. Such a sense of contentment, I have never felt. I assure you, that one fart made up for the years of olfactory assaults that these two yahoos had released upon me.

So, with Christmas approaching, keep this book in mind.

Oh, I haven't read the book referred to in the following comment, but it sounds like a winner:

"Maybe I should put that on my amazon.com wish list. Right after I finish the book on my nightstand: What's Your Poo Telling You?"

I can't wait to learn poo language and I'm sure that many others might find it as intriguing as the fart book.

OK then, I just got home from work and I need to take a shower, I'll be back in a few moments...I have to go to the bathroom and read a chapter or two from my fart book.

See you in a few!

Meggers