Love is...
...the fart of every heart
It pains a man when 'tis kept close
and others doth offend when 'tis let loose.
The fart...
Reader,
It was born, and cry'd,
crack'd so, smelt so, and so dy'd
There once was a fellow named Sparta
A really magnificant farter
On the strength of one bean,
He farted 'God save the Queen',
And Beethoven's Midnight Sonata
Said a printer pretending to wit:
"There are certain bad words we omit.
It would sully our art
To print the word Fart-
And we never, oh never say Shit!
"He made his Blazing Saddle a torch to light the way!"
-Frankie Lane, singing the Oscar nominated theme song to Blazing Saddles
(Can you believe that the bleeped the farts out of that movie?)
He wrote a movie, Fartman, on which all his hopes were pinned-
A superhero powered by the force of his own wind;
The flick was never made-some say the plot was too high class,
Or else the deal fell through because the script ran out of gas.
-Mad Magazine
What are men but balloons on legs,
A lot of blown up bladders?
A man's a bubble, all air, nothing else.
Dating rule #1: Fart immediately!
-ex Playboy Playmate Jenny McCarthy
I've been reading a new book. It's called, "Who Cut the Cheese? A Cultured history of the Fart. Very interesting...not to mention illuminating.
Meg
...the fart of every heart
It pains a man when 'tis kept close
and others doth offend when 'tis let loose.
The fart...
Reader,
It was born, and cry'd,
crack'd so, smelt so, and so dy'd
There once was a fellow named Sparta
A really magnificant farter
On the strength of one bean,
He farted 'God save the Queen',
And Beethoven's Midnight Sonata
Said a printer pretending to wit:
"There are certain bad words we omit.
It would sully our art
To print the word Fart-
And we never, oh never say Shit!
"He made his Blazing Saddle a torch to light the way!"
-Frankie Lane, singing the Oscar nominated theme song to Blazing Saddles
(Can you believe that the bleeped the farts out of that movie?)
He wrote a movie, Fartman, on which all his hopes were pinned-
A superhero powered by the force of his own wind;
The flick was never made-some say the plot was too high class,
Or else the deal fell through because the script ran out of gas.
-Mad Magazine
What are men but balloons on legs,
A lot of blown up bladders?
A man's a bubble, all air, nothing else.
Dating rule #1: Fart immediately!
-ex Playboy Playmate Jenny McCarthy
I've been reading a new book. It's called, "Who Cut the Cheese? A Cultured history of the Fart. Very interesting...not to mention illuminating.
Meg
posted by Meg Kelso | 2:10 PM
5 Comments:
Maybe I should put that on my amazon.com wish list. Right after I finish the book on my nightstand: What's Your Poo Telling You?
That's a a great book John!My bro-in-law read it out loud tom the whole family on vaca and we almost died laughing!
This is one from my mother
Poor little thing
Born without a skin
Spoke one word
And never spoke again
That makes no sense at all but I laughed out loud before I realized that it made no sense. How do mothers do that?
Mine sang the silliest stuff and I sing it ot my grandkids. They'll sing it to thiers. And it still won't make any sense.
Meg
That makes no sense at all but I laughed out loud before I realized that it made no sense. How do mothers do that?
Mine sang the silliest stuff and I sing it ot my grandkids. They'll sing it to thiers. And it still won't make any sense.
Meg
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