Sometimes I think…

…that I have odd thoughts in my mind. But you know, between being dumped for a trailer dwelling bimbo and having New York City Senate candidate Lorraine Coyle-Koppel attribute my work to a New York woman whom I have never met, I think I’ve been relatively sedate when compared to other people. I’ve had a sharp word here or there when it comes to my ex-husband or to the above mentioned disgrace to decent women everywhere. But, when it comes to wild and far out thinking, I have nothing on a Florida woman who has found Jesus in one of the unlikeliest of all places, a potato.

Pastor Renee Brewster prayed to the Lord asking whether or not she should make the potato salad. The Pastor “was hesitant about making the potato salad because Sister Frankie makes the potato salad at church and I said, 'Lord, if it’s not for me to make potato salad then send me a sign.'"

Apparently, the creator of the universe stopped whatever he was doing at the moment and sent the Pastor his already put upon son and he did so by sticking the savior in a potato:

The church leader froze the heart of the Jesus Potato. The remaining holy foodstuff was appropriately used to make the potato salad served during their weekly rescue mission.

I mustard up a bit of curiosity and Googled Jesus Potato. I read the results with relish. Pastor Brewster might have expected a bit of a dressing down for her claims. She had to be egged on to come forth with the Divine Root vegetable. But the Internet is peppered with Potato Jesus’s so the Pastor needn’t claim chopped onions if caught tearing up should the media frenzy over her blessed spud whip together any more of a slaw than that with which she is currently contending.

I was unaware of a theory claiming that, in fact, that "Jesus is a potato. He in fact was not human like the bible suggests. Pages were ripped out of the original bible with all of the information and proof that Jesus was a potato. They have been recovered and the pages are believed to be Salt and Vinegar flavoured."

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Potato+Jesus

Surprisingly, Potato Jesus is a tech savvy deity. He has taken time out of his busy schedule, you know…saving the world and forgiving transgressions, stuff like that…to create his own MySpace page:

http://www.myspace.com/dancewithboots

Jesus isn’t spud-ist…he also does potato CHIP appearances. You can see the son of god in the rotted bit of this potato chip:

The son of god isn’t alone when it comes to visiting us in vegetable form. The mother of god has also graced us with her holy presence as a potato:

And, for a few hundred dollars, you can own the blessed mother in potato form yourself. She's for sale on eBay:

http://cgi.ebay.ca/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&Item=150197398037

OK then. I wish I had a glass of wine or a bottle of beer right now. It would sort of lift my spirits, no pun intended. Of course, I could go chop some potatoes. I would hate to think that I've been visited by a heavenly rutabaga and here I sit at my computer. I'll never be able to leave a vegetable unchopped again. God forbid the son of god is stuck in one of them and it rots before I should let him out.

:):):)