I HAVE to know something...
...is this blog "chicky" as was suggested?
"...Your blog is meant to be fun and chicky..."
I never knew that. I thought it was meant to be people-y, not specifically chicky. I may mess with men a bit...but only the ones who ask for it. I think I've been more derogatory toward women like husband stealers (Colleen Lombardi) and public figures who go out of their way to show what assholes they can be (Lorraine Coyle-Koppell).
When I first started this thing, I expected to hear from women who had been through some of the same things that I had been through. I was wrong...90% of the people who wrote to me were men. That shocked me but it was years ago and I'm over that particular surprise. I guess I've changed over the years as has this blog so now I don't know, perhaps there are more women reading it.
I know that 40% of my readers are repeat visitors but I don't know anything about them. I guess I should ask a poll question about that. I will when I finish this. I'm quite curious about who you guys (gals?!) are.
In another part of this guy's comment, he mentioned that he keeps his personal sex life to himself. Of course...he should. You can't discuss your own sex life without discussing someone else's sex life and that's quite the rude thing to do.
Men tell me that they read this blog because it gives them a window into workings of the female mind. They say that they feel as though they "understand" us more after reading what I write. (Good luck with that.) Well, I've pretty much given up trying to understand men. I know enough...they want food, sex and the remote control. After that, I don't know what the hell they're up to.
But every so often, some guy teaches ME a bit.
Read this:
"...When I am watching porn, I know right at the beginning its all fake, and I am only seeking some sort of emotional release. It doesn't mean I love my partner any less. I do draw a line in porn though...You may think the woman/women acting in the porn movie are being degraded, but to me they are only acting, they may or may not enjoy doing it; but at least, they are adults participating with their own consent. Its no more degrading for the female as for the male actors..."
This just reinforces my thoughts about men and sex. They don't have to care about the pussy...ejaculation is comparable to a fart. Since it's an urge that they CAN satisfy...they do. It's like those guys who fart all the time. They get an urge and they satisfy that urge. Whatever. The problem here is that I won't be a toilet for a man's sperm anymore. (Oh...one thing..."emotional release"?)
Been there, did that. I'd rather be celibate.
Anyway, while men think that sex/ejaculation/relief is nothing more than an itch that must be scratched, women feel differently. It's quite the opposite to most of us. I admit that most of us are capable of a one night stand or two in our lives...but on average, we usually care about the guy with whom we make love. If we didn't care before we did it, we certainly do care after we do it. Talk about coming from Mars and Venus.
I've heard it said that men give love to get sex and women give sex to get love. I don't know how true it is but Notw sort of backs that up a bit...doesn't he? Of course, I'm not saying that's a BAD thing so there isn't any reason to get defensive here, OK guys? I may make statements that sound negative but they aren't...they're just observations.
And then you have the diversity amongst men themselves. One guy might feel like we do...if we make love we must feel something. Then again, there are certainly plenty who would just as soon leave the scene of the crime as soon as possible.
So, that's what I learned about men today. I'm not grouping them all, I'm generalizing, that's all.
Some men may feel as though I've just attacked them and their scrotums...but I haven't. I was talking about SOME men, not all of them. Feel free to respond and defend yourself if this does hit close to home. I just hope that I haven't offended anybody. But then again, this is a CHICK blog!
LMAOROTFL!!!!!
...is this blog "chicky" as was suggested?
"...Your blog is meant to be fun and chicky..."
I never knew that. I thought it was meant to be people-y, not specifically chicky. I may mess with men a bit...but only the ones who ask for it. I think I've been more derogatory toward women like husband stealers (Colleen Lombardi) and public figures who go out of their way to show what assholes they can be (Lorraine Coyle-Koppell).
When I first started this thing, I expected to hear from women who had been through some of the same things that I had been through. I was wrong...90% of the people who wrote to me were men. That shocked me but it was years ago and I'm over that particular surprise. I guess I've changed over the years as has this blog so now I don't know, perhaps there are more women reading it.
I know that 40% of my readers are repeat visitors but I don't know anything about them. I guess I should ask a poll question about that. I will when I finish this. I'm quite curious about who you guys (gals?!) are.
In another part of this guy's comment, he mentioned that he keeps his personal sex life to himself. Of course...he should. You can't discuss your own sex life without discussing someone else's sex life and that's quite the rude thing to do.
Men tell me that they read this blog because it gives them a window into workings of the female mind. They say that they feel as though they "understand" us more after reading what I write. (Good luck with that.) Well, I've pretty much given up trying to understand men. I know enough...they want food, sex and the remote control. After that, I don't know what the hell they're up to.
But every so often, some guy teaches ME a bit.
Read this:
"...When I am watching porn, I know right at the beginning its all fake, and I am only seeking some sort of emotional release. It doesn't mean I love my partner any less. I do draw a line in porn though...You may think the woman/women acting in the porn movie are being degraded, but to me they are only acting, they may or may not enjoy doing it; but at least, they are adults participating with their own consent. Its no more degrading for the female as for the male actors..."
This just reinforces my thoughts about men and sex. They don't have to care about the pussy...ejaculation is comparable to a fart. Since it's an urge that they CAN satisfy...they do. It's like those guys who fart all the time. They get an urge and they satisfy that urge. Whatever. The problem here is that I won't be a toilet for a man's sperm anymore. (Oh...one thing..."emotional release"?)
Been there, did that. I'd rather be celibate.
Anyway, while men think that sex/ejaculation/relief is nothing more than an itch that must be scratched, women feel differently. It's quite the opposite to most of us. I admit that most of us are capable of a one night stand or two in our lives...but on average, we usually care about the guy with whom we make love. If we didn't care before we did it, we certainly do care after we do it. Talk about coming from Mars and Venus.
I've heard it said that men give love to get sex and women give sex to get love. I don't know how true it is but Notw sort of backs that up a bit...doesn't he? Of course, I'm not saying that's a BAD thing so there isn't any reason to get defensive here, OK guys? I may make statements that sound negative but they aren't...they're just observations.
And then you have the diversity amongst men themselves. One guy might feel like we do...if we make love we must feel something. Then again, there are certainly plenty who would just as soon leave the scene of the crime as soon as possible.
So, that's what I learned about men today. I'm not grouping them all, I'm generalizing, that's all.
Some men may feel as though I've just attacked them and their scrotums...but I haven't. I was talking about SOME men, not all of them. Feel free to respond and defend yourself if this does hit close to home. I just hope that I haven't offended anybody. But then again, this is a CHICK blog!
LMAOROTFL!!!!!
posted by Meg Kelso | 6:13 AM
14 Comments:
You know, it's funny that you say that (to men sex/ejaculation means nothing.) I had an ex that I was Very compatible (sexually - obv.) with that is now engaged. He often tries to make advances...and I flat out ask him WHY he wants to fuck me if he is 'in love' and engaged?!? This worries me. Men's way of thinking worries me. The older I get the less interest I have in ever getting married. Funny, it usually works the other way around.
What a crock! Aren't you the one who brags about all of the f-buddies you have? And then you have the nerve to judge this guy for a little porn. (er -emotional release)
That is some high horse you are on.
It's the "emotional release" that bothers me in this scenario. What he's saying that he needed to have that emotional connection and release to start with. So, when is partner wasn't available or had a long day, he was able to sexually objectify a stranger to achieve that same emotional release...that means it wasn't about connecting with his partner at all. Any port in a storm will do.
I don't have any problem with porn in general. I think that it's even part of healthy sexual relationships sometimes, depending on each couple. I'm not saying people who watch it are depraved or weirdos. I'm only saying that if you use it as a means of finding an emotional release at the exclusion of your partner, that's a problem.
It's much the same way I feel about infidelity. Some people feel that a having an online relationship isn't cheating. Or having an unusually close relationship with a "friend" isn't cheating. But if you are sharing the kind of emotional, intimate things with this other person that you'd normally only share with your spouse, you have been unfaithful. There's so much more to intimacy and trust than just sex. When you share those things with someone else instead of your partner, you have emotionally detached yourself from you relationship. That's not healthy. If you use the images of someone else to find sexual gratification instead of saving that for your partner, that's not healthy for the relationship. If you both like to watch porn together because it enhances your sex life, then go for it.
It's not the porn itself...it's the way people use it as a means of achieving sexual gratification without their partners. Make sense?
Sometimes I really wonder what planet the rest of my fellow men come from. I am not going to sit here and suggest that I have not seen porn. Nor am I going to say that I never used it for release; but I would hardly call it "emotional" release. It was used for the release of a sexual need, it had nothing to do with emotion. However, I had also hoped that the natural process of maturation would not be lost on my fellow men. Sure, when I was in college, there was always someone with porn on in their room (especially as a member of a fraternity). Now, almost 10 years after my graduation, I can't remember the last time I sat down to release sexual tension to a movie.
Now, some might say, I am in a happy and committed relationship, so my need for a movie is supplanted by the actual item. That is ture, but think of this: I was recently in Australia for several months on a work assignment, didn't have the real thing; but still I never had the urge to see a movie to release tension, for I have my own mental movies with my girl friend. Imagination, memory and the thought of what I was getting when I got home is a wonderful thing.
For those of us men who are not in a relationship, and thus do not get the real thing, I have one question: What ever happened to the art of imagination and memory? Somewhere, sometime those of us of a certain age have had the real thing, can't we just use our own "porn" to release that "emotion"?
Thanks dude!
I was hoping that a penis person would chime in on this one. I didn't know where to go with it!
Nice to know there are still such romantic men out there. Your female is lucky.
:)
Perhaps emotional release is a wrong term. I work in a very mentally demanding and presure cooker kind of industry. A lot of times, I don't want to offload this to my love one, and I need some space for myself. I know, I could have gone power walking, gym, yoga etc. But I find escaping by watching porn alone for an hour is one of the easy channel to get my mind off work and relax myself. It does not affect our love life. My partner knows about it, she just keeps a blind eye. (I think). Watching porn is my personal choice. Just as fine that you "don't have the urge to see movie to release tension". And I agree imagination and memory are wonderful things. Its your choice, and I respect it. I am not a porn addict, I rarely do it and I emphasise that it dose not affect our sex live afterword. If someone prefer watching porn that would affect his sex life, he really has a problem. But as we use to say, there are always two sides to a coin. There must be a more serious underlying problem in that type of relationship.
Notw...
...you're fine. I have to tell you that I appreciate your honesty. Our lives are what they are and you should never be afraid to discuss it. You can say anything here and it'll be cool. As I've said before, it might make someone mad, but we learn from crap like that!
:)
Romantic? Me? Id rather consider myself old fashioned. Consider this: in a few short hours Radio Dial Lady and I will be heading to my parents country house for the weekend (its a long weekend in Mexico) and we will spend the entire weekend in separate bed rooms.
I would find it totally disrespectful, both to my parents and to her, to spend the night at my parents' house in the same bed with a woman who may one day become my wife, but who is not my wife at present.
What gets even more old fashioned is that tonight, like most every evening at my parents' house we will sit down to dinner in evening wear (for those of you who have no clue as to what this is, it is white tie and tails Friday through Sunday and Black tie the rest of the week. From the 21st of March to the 21st of September a white dinner jacket is worn (for those of who who have no clue as to what this is watch a James Bond movie) and from the 21st of September to the 21st of March a black dinner jacket is worn. Why the change? The seasons of the year. The only exception to this rule is when one is in the tropics -- from 15º N to 15ºS (if you need to know what this is then look at a globe) where a white dinner jacket is worn regardless of the date because of the heat).
And yes, the men still retire after dinner at my parents' house for Brandy and cigars, leaving the women to themselves. Oh no, I can hear it now, Im a shovanistic pig.
On Saturday my father and I will play tennis and oh my God yes, we will both play alll in white, the way the game should be played.
OK, Ive ranted enough about the loss of culture.
It is a sad loss, is it not? Oh well, lift your snifter to me!
:)
Yes it is a sad loss. I don't know why this series of posts has sparked a vein in me, I am not usually so opinionated, but this subject really gets me. And yes, by bow ties is a foreign hand one, in other words I tie it myself, no need for a mirror either I can do it in my sleep if I have to. And the nice thing is that before we walk into the reception area, she will be my mirror. She will gently straighten it, give me a kiss on the cheek, place her arm through mine and we will go on to conquer the evening together. My father will be sitting at one head of the table, me at the other head and our respective others (my mother and my father, will be sat next to someone else on opposite sides of the table somewhere in the middle. I will speak to the two women that are on either side of me, as will my father and the two ladies will speak with the men that are on either side of them.
My mother does all of the arrangements, so who knows who I will be sitting next to, but none-the-less polite conversation about everything from the economy, to politics, to good house keeping and everything in between will ensue until such time as dinner is over. There will be at least a four course dinner and we will eat using the cutlery from the outside in because its inside out.
It occured to me that most of you might think I live in a fantasy world, here is a glimpse into me as it describes where I went to school:
"Men who are going places start at Hampden Sydney".
HSC is not for everybody. People who don't go are turned off by the abundance of money, girls, guns, and alcohol. That person has since come out of the closet after realizing HSC is not for him. Although it is easy to get in, it is hard to stay. Boasting the toughest Honor Code that even VMI idolizes. HSC is the last vestige of the "southern-gentleman"; and is epitomized through bow-ties, polos, and Southern Comfort bourbon... On the weekends this quaint little all boys school turns into an animal house style country club filled with guns, sex, alcohol, and more alcohol. Nearly becoming coed in the late 90's the Hampden Sydney men came to their senses and realized that,"they don't need girls they are doing just fine with yours."
It is also a place where, "Men are Men and women are still guests".
"We say grace, we say ma'am, if you don't like it, we don't give a damn."
I think that's lovely.
Hi radio dial,
All you are doing are all cool and good, and I mean it.
I used to go for oversea assignment a lot, and I never liked it. Its all Office, Hotel, then Office then hotel .... other then some social function which is kind of mendatory for me to attend. With no exception, just the first night when I am alone at the hotel, I get home sick, I miss my partner, not in any sexual way, just home sick, nice memory, imagining how nice it would be to get home again. What nice souvenir to get her etc. Porn never come in play, neither does infedility. I was lucky that most of the assignments usually only lasted for a week or two.
As for you following the family tradition, and that you and your girl friend sleep in different bedroom, is that your own free will or you don't want to upset your parents? Do you really think they would get upset if you did sleep in the same bedroom? Are you having doubt about your commitment to the relationship or are you pulling my leg? Sleeping together dosen't imply having sex, right?
I respect different cultures and there etiquette. But the way you go on and on makes me doubt that you are just trying to raise another topic to 'spark others vein'. I hope I am wrong here.
No offence intended here, Radio man.
I have to stick my two cents in. I, too, would have enough respect under my father's roof than to have sex with someone to whom I am not married. I think that's a pretty common respect to have towar your parent's home.
Meg
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