It's only Sunday...

...and really, really early in the morning but it's already been a helluva weekend. The best part of it is that I have a backache that won't go away. That's bugging me now but I'll forget about it as I wake up and remember all the other bullshit going on in my life.

I'm sitting in a cold kitchen because after I got an electric water heater, I stopped paying the gas bill. I only needed it for the heat so I didn't care. It's NOT supposed to be so cold here this time of the year. Well, if you'd like to see it become unseasonably cold...just make it so your heater won't work. Works for me. I can't heat the house, the Weather Gods won't heat Georgia and Global Warming is a myth so I'm cold.

I had a kerosene heater but we bought that in Virginia so that had to be '91 or '92. Rick suggested that I use it but I threw it away after he left...years AFTER it had become a major fire hazard. Thanks Rick....but no. I bought space heaters but I'm afraid of those so I don't use them unless there's frost on my nose.

Then, Friday I got a bill from the gas company. They never turned off the gas. The stupid furnace must be broken and it broke right after I failed to pay the gas bill. I was shocked that they turned it off so fast, I wasn't really behind. I just didn't pay it when it was due so the next day it was cold. When my utilities go off, it's usually because something is broken...not because I didn't pay the bill. So, I'm not sure how long it takes. But, according to the notice I got Friday, I had better pay it soon...or else!

The bill I didn't pay was one month's bill of $200. The bill I got Friday was for $612 and change. Apparently, furnace or not, cold or hot, you have to pay that stupid bill. The last month alone is $118 and the heat stopped working over a month ago. So, now I have to pay that huge bill and call the landlord to tell him that in addition to the new plumbing from the house to the street, the new water heater and the new central air system, there's something wrong that may or may not be causing a gas leak because I have caught whiffs of the stuff on rare occasion.

OK there's that.

And then Friday night, my sister and I went out because I'm probably leaving for Florida very soon and I'll be there for an indefinite period of time. Anyway, we did have fun. We went to a few places and the last place that we went was Faces...a very safe place for me because I know everyone there...including the owner. Even if I got drunk, they would see to it that I got home safely. Or so I thought.

The owner (who's name is also Rick...it's amazing how many of those I meet.) let this guy take my sister and I home who I've known for a long time. He's a guy who I would have trusted if I had been sober. He's older than me, I'm not sure how much older but too much as far as I'm concerned. Certainly old enough to look like a trustworthy soul.

This is where I should have remembered the first lesson that I learned about men after I started dating again...older men haven't lost their nerve, just their hair. I had only been drinking Seabreeze Ices and I had eaten. But the shot of tequila that old man dude bought must have been the two-punch of a Seabreeze/tequila one two. The last thing I knew we were in the drive-thru at Krystal Burger because I had to have some.

This part I know because my sister told me...we went to my house with the burgers and my sister got out of the car. Then, she watched out the door as the guy and I stayed in the car eating those poor excuses for White Castle's. She knew that I wanted to go to bed so when she looked again and the car with me in it was gone, she thought that was odd.

I pick up my memory again here because the next thing I knew, I woke up in the old man's bed. It wouldn't have been bad if he was on his couch...but he wasn't. His old freaky self was behind me. I was quite annoyed to say the least. Partly because I heard old dude PROMISE Rick that he would "get me home safely". He didn't say he would do it right away but I'm quite sure Rick thought that it was implied in the words "home" and "safely". I was mainly concerned about getting my car and going home so I just worried about that at first.

Then, when I got in my car and started using my brain, it woke up. The morning fog lifted and I became much more annoyed. Old dude kept repeating how "nothing happened" and I'm sure he's right. I just don't know his definition of "nothing".

To me, "nothing happened" means just that...nothing. But to a guy, especially an old one who couldn't get much pussy without a phone number from the men's room and $50..."nothing" could mean intercourse. "Yeah girl, I rubbed all over you and humped you a bit but NOTHING happened. By the way, there's something in your hair...I don't know what the hell it is."

So, yesterday...while I should have been getting my household ready for an extended trip to Florida...I laid around the house nursing a hangover. I did the bare necessities of housework, a dish or two. I even fed the animals. But that was pretty much it. As far as the blog is concerned, all I could muster was a false report. Oops.

Sorry about that...and I did THINK about the veracity of the comment. But whomever stuck FoxNews in there got past my ordinarily high bullshit radar and sneaked right past my hungover brain. My bad.

I'll leave it there as a testament to my hangover and the stupidity that gave it to me. I usually have two drinks at the most because of my blood pressure and that big ass thing in my brain. But, at the risk of the motor movement on the left side of my body...I drank too much. That was bright...wasn't it?

So, today I woke up on top of the couch and under 5 blankets with a backache.

You know what? Talking about that other crap didn't help my backache one bit.