Vi said...
"I hope you have a FUN adventure, whatever you do!"
Well, I did!
First I decided to take Payton (my dog) out to the Kennesaw Battlefield and let him run around. That was fun. But not fun enough. So, we went and climbed Kennesaw Mountain.
That mountain will fool you. Just when you think you've gotten to the top of the stupid thing, you realize that there is a swinging wood bridge that you have to walk across to get to the second pinnacle. There's a small one AND a large one. I finally did get to the top of that mountain with Payton and we sat there for a while. I was thinking, "I wish there was a tram that could take me down this fucker." I don't know what Payton was thinking, he just stared out into the distance like the captain of a ship.
I met a couple of real mountain climbers on that mountain...guys who climb the highest peaks in the world. When they haven't got time to travel, they climb the small mountains around here. I didn't even realize that Kennesaw Mountain was big enough to be any sort of challenge to a man who's clmbed Mt. Everest. But apparently it is and I climbed it yesterday!
Anyway, Payton and I eventually did have to go down the mountain that we had clmibed up. The mountain sort of has trails, but you don't always have to follow them. If you would rather grab a small tree and pull yourself up a different way, you can. I did that a lot because that stupid mountain isn't as easy to climb as it looks.
Anyway, since you don't have to stay on the beaten path, you climb around places that no one's been down (or up) in a while. As I was doing that, I found what I can only call a bullet from the Civil War. Anytime I'm anywhere near the battlefield, I keep an eye out for those things. In all of the years I've lived on this old battlefield, that's the first bullet that I've found.
They're building this area up quite a bit and relatively often, they turn up a tract of land. When they do, I wander through the freshly turned red clay and look for Civil War stuff. A lot of people whom I've met have done that with metal detectors. Then they changed the law so you can't just take a metal detector out there and detect anywhere you want to detect. I don't have one anyway so I just carry Payton's leash (without Payton) in case the cops stop me for trespassing. If they do, I can say that I'm looking for my dog. My father is so smart...he came up with that idea.
Oh, I shall purposely digress here because I know what I'm here to say today.
Right after my mother's funeral, we went back to her house to meet my father. Then, he followed us to the after funeral bar-b-que and as we were getting onto a highway, Rick stopped to watch for oncoming traffic instead of just accelerating and entering traffic. That wasn't his fault, some old man stopped in front of him. Anyway, as I said, Rick likes to drive forward while he's looking backwards so he hit the old man who STILL hadn't moved. I was sitting in the passenger seat as Rick got out to talk to the old man.
Almost immediately after Rick got out of the car, my father got out of his car. He had been following us and of course, had seen Rick hit the old man. He walked passed me as he was approaching Rick and the old man. I heard my father say to the old man, "Why were you going backwards on the entrance ramp?" I laughed so hard that I had almost forgotten that this was my mother's funeral.
Anyway, Rick told the guy that they both had equal damage and that they should just take care of their own stuff. For some reason, that old man agreed and we continued on to the bar-b-que. When we got there, my son got out of the car and kicked the rubber bumper back into shape so that you would never have known that the car had just been in an accident. I don't know what ever happened to the old man.
So...back to yesterday. I eventually took Payton home and rested for a bit because the mountain wore me out. After a while, I got my second wind and I decided to go out and shoot pool at some place that my sister said had free pool tables. When I got there, I saw that they didn't. I guess they recently changed it.
So, I was back in the pool area shooting pool by myself when 2 harmless looking guys came in and played at a table next to me. I prefer to play with an opponent, I shoot better with competition. So, eventually I asked if I could play the winner of their game.
They agreed. So, I watched them until it was my turn. When it was, I played a few games with them.
One of them had to have been at least six foot three and the other one was maybe 5 feet tall. The tall guy was from Pittsburg and the short one was from Gogia. They were an entirely harmless couple of guys...the kind who wouldn't bother hitting on a woman because they're so used to getting shot down.
But, they were men. So, they just took turns trying to impress me in hopes that I would pick one and make a move myself. That wasn't going to happen but I didn't mind playing pool with them. The tall one used his sense of humor to impress me and the short one used the fact that he knew the words to every song that I sang along to. The place DID have free music. At least I didn't have to pump money into a juke box. But...I did have to listen as the guy sang louder and louder as he drank more and more.
At one point, my sister (who had dropped me off because I was going to drink and didn't want to drive) ran into the place and freaked me out by saying that she hadn't been able to get my son to answer his cell and that there was an awful wreck down the street with body bags. I grabbed her cell phone and called 911 to find out anything that I could about the accident.
The 911 lady wanted more information about the wreck and my sister said, "It was a few hours ago right down Powder Springs Road." That's when I let the cop lady go because I had just spoken to my son less than one hour ago and he was with his girlfriend so I realized that he was fine and I went back to enjoying myself.
As I said, I was drinking last night. I wasn't drunk, but I did have a nice buzz going on. Those two dudes offered to drive me home and I let them rather than calling my sister. They came in for a few minutes...or so I thought. They didn't seem to want to leave.
One of them fell asleep in my recliner and the other was still singing. I turned around on my couch so that my head was hanging off the couch and my legs were up the wall. That was comfortable for a while. As I sat like that, I came up with a plan.
I decided to just go to bed.
So I did. I left one guy sleeping in the chair and the other chatting with my sister. They thought that I was going to the bathroom. I just cuddled up in my bed and went to sleep.
That was the extent of my adventure. I climbed a mountain, played some pool and listened to a short dude sing annoyingly loud. Oh, and I called the cops when I thought that my son had been in an accident.
I've left my sisters with men that creeped me out before. One day in the 80's, my sisters and their boyfriends and I were playing spades at my mother's kitchen table. We were taking turns telling each other stories about stupid things we had done when we were young.
In the middle of the story telling, there was a knock on the door. It was warm so we only had the screen door shut. The knocker could see us so we had to let him in. It was a guy who I had dated a couple of times but I didn't really care much about. I was drinking a lot back then and dated a couple really creepy guys. This one was about the creepiest. His name was Bob. He said that it stood for "Bud Outuva Bottle."
He had a few Buds before he knocked on that screen door. As much as I didn't want him there, my sister let him in and there wasn't much I could do.
At first, Bob just listened to the stories we were telling. Then he told his own little story.
His story was peppered with his own giggles, as were our stories. But his story had something that the other stories didn't have...a dead cat as a punch line.
"When I was a kid I used to bury cats up to their neck in dirt and mow their heads off with a lawnmower. Hahahahahaha!"
That stopped the party. Everyone sat there, jaws dropped and eyes wide.
I made plan.
I said that I had to go to Ralph's market (a little store around the corner.) and I left. I never went back.
Invite people into my presence at your own peril. I travel light and I could potentially bolt at any given moment.
:)
"I hope you have a FUN adventure, whatever you do!"
Well, I did!
First I decided to take Payton (my dog) out to the Kennesaw Battlefield and let him run around. That was fun. But not fun enough. So, we went and climbed Kennesaw Mountain.
That mountain will fool you. Just when you think you've gotten to the top of the stupid thing, you realize that there is a swinging wood bridge that you have to walk across to get to the second pinnacle. There's a small one AND a large one. I finally did get to the top of that mountain with Payton and we sat there for a while. I was thinking, "I wish there was a tram that could take me down this fucker." I don't know what Payton was thinking, he just stared out into the distance like the captain of a ship.
I met a couple of real mountain climbers on that mountain...guys who climb the highest peaks in the world. When they haven't got time to travel, they climb the small mountains around here. I didn't even realize that Kennesaw Mountain was big enough to be any sort of challenge to a man who's clmbed Mt. Everest. But apparently it is and I climbed it yesterday!
Anyway, Payton and I eventually did have to go down the mountain that we had clmibed up. The mountain sort of has trails, but you don't always have to follow them. If you would rather grab a small tree and pull yourself up a different way, you can. I did that a lot because that stupid mountain isn't as easy to climb as it looks.
Anyway, since you don't have to stay on the beaten path, you climb around places that no one's been down (or up) in a while. As I was doing that, I found what I can only call a bullet from the Civil War. Anytime I'm anywhere near the battlefield, I keep an eye out for those things. In all of the years I've lived on this old battlefield, that's the first bullet that I've found.
They're building this area up quite a bit and relatively often, they turn up a tract of land. When they do, I wander through the freshly turned red clay and look for Civil War stuff. A lot of people whom I've met have done that with metal detectors. Then they changed the law so you can't just take a metal detector out there and detect anywhere you want to detect. I don't have one anyway so I just carry Payton's leash (without Payton) in case the cops stop me for trespassing. If they do, I can say that I'm looking for my dog. My father is so smart...he came up with that idea.
Oh, I shall purposely digress here because I know what I'm here to say today.
Right after my mother's funeral, we went back to her house to meet my father. Then, he followed us to the after funeral bar-b-que and as we were getting onto a highway, Rick stopped to watch for oncoming traffic instead of just accelerating and entering traffic. That wasn't his fault, some old man stopped in front of him. Anyway, as I said, Rick likes to drive forward while he's looking backwards so he hit the old man who STILL hadn't moved. I was sitting in the passenger seat as Rick got out to talk to the old man.
Almost immediately after Rick got out of the car, my father got out of his car. He had been following us and of course, had seen Rick hit the old man. He walked passed me as he was approaching Rick and the old man. I heard my father say to the old man, "Why were you going backwards on the entrance ramp?" I laughed so hard that I had almost forgotten that this was my mother's funeral.
Anyway, Rick told the guy that they both had equal damage and that they should just take care of their own stuff. For some reason, that old man agreed and we continued on to the bar-b-que. When we got there, my son got out of the car and kicked the rubber bumper back into shape so that you would never have known that the car had just been in an accident. I don't know what ever happened to the old man.
So...back to yesterday. I eventually took Payton home and rested for a bit because the mountain wore me out. After a while, I got my second wind and I decided to go out and shoot pool at some place that my sister said had free pool tables. When I got there, I saw that they didn't. I guess they recently changed it.
So, I was back in the pool area shooting pool by myself when 2 harmless looking guys came in and played at a table next to me. I prefer to play with an opponent, I shoot better with competition. So, eventually I asked if I could play the winner of their game.
They agreed. So, I watched them until it was my turn. When it was, I played a few games with them.
One of them had to have been at least six foot three and the other one was maybe 5 feet tall. The tall guy was from Pittsburg and the short one was from Gogia. They were an entirely harmless couple of guys...the kind who wouldn't bother hitting on a woman because they're so used to getting shot down.
But, they were men. So, they just took turns trying to impress me in hopes that I would pick one and make a move myself. That wasn't going to happen but I didn't mind playing pool with them. The tall one used his sense of humor to impress me and the short one used the fact that he knew the words to every song that I sang along to. The place DID have free music. At least I didn't have to pump money into a juke box. But...I did have to listen as the guy sang louder and louder as he drank more and more.
At one point, my sister (who had dropped me off because I was going to drink and didn't want to drive) ran into the place and freaked me out by saying that she hadn't been able to get my son to answer his cell and that there was an awful wreck down the street with body bags. I grabbed her cell phone and called 911 to find out anything that I could about the accident.
The 911 lady wanted more information about the wreck and my sister said, "It was a few hours ago right down Powder Springs Road." That's when I let the cop lady go because I had just spoken to my son less than one hour ago and he was with his girlfriend so I realized that he was fine and I went back to enjoying myself.
As I said, I was drinking last night. I wasn't drunk, but I did have a nice buzz going on. Those two dudes offered to drive me home and I let them rather than calling my sister. They came in for a few minutes...or so I thought. They didn't seem to want to leave.
One of them fell asleep in my recliner and the other was still singing. I turned around on my couch so that my head was hanging off the couch and my legs were up the wall. That was comfortable for a while. As I sat like that, I came up with a plan.
I decided to just go to bed.
So I did. I left one guy sleeping in the chair and the other chatting with my sister. They thought that I was going to the bathroom. I just cuddled up in my bed and went to sleep.
That was the extent of my adventure. I climbed a mountain, played some pool and listened to a short dude sing annoyingly loud. Oh, and I called the cops when I thought that my son had been in an accident.
I've left my sisters with men that creeped me out before. One day in the 80's, my sisters and their boyfriends and I were playing spades at my mother's kitchen table. We were taking turns telling each other stories about stupid things we had done when we were young.
In the middle of the story telling, there was a knock on the door. It was warm so we only had the screen door shut. The knocker could see us so we had to let him in. It was a guy who I had dated a couple of times but I didn't really care much about. I was drinking a lot back then and dated a couple really creepy guys. This one was about the creepiest. His name was Bob. He said that it stood for "Bud Outuva Bottle."
He had a few Buds before he knocked on that screen door. As much as I didn't want him there, my sister let him in and there wasn't much I could do.
At first, Bob just listened to the stories we were telling. Then he told his own little story.
His story was peppered with his own giggles, as were our stories. But his story had something that the other stories didn't have...a dead cat as a punch line.
"When I was a kid I used to bury cats up to their neck in dirt and mow their heads off with a lawnmower. Hahahahahaha!"
That stopped the party. Everyone sat there, jaws dropped and eyes wide.
I made plan.
I said that I had to go to Ralph's market (a little store around the corner.) and I left. I never went back.
Invite people into my presence at your own peril. I travel light and I could potentially bolt at any given moment.
:)
posted by Meg Kelso | 6:33 AM
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