Good Monday to you!!!

I hope it's not as yuchy where you are as it is here. It's raining and windy and I've had my AC off for most of the weekend. I even threw caution to the wind and stuck a fan in my bedroom window to keep the room cool all night. If little creatures crawled in while I was sleeping, they should have been eaten by one of my cats or my dog, all of whom would just LOVE to play with a small mammal who had the misfortune to find itself in my house.

Stewie loves to eat bugs so I've got that covered. If only he could fly, I'd be totally bug-free.

Now, if only I could be ghost-free, I'd be happy. I think that I better take a chill pill because there's weird stuff going on in this house. It seems to be raining tiny droplets of some substance that's not water. On the counter, it looks like brownish water and on the computer monitor, it looks like little droplets that won't go anywhere. I'll take a picture of the stuff...I don't know if I'll even be able to get it and if I do, I don't know what it'll prove, but here it is:

When I first sat at the desk, he monitor was full of that stuff. I THINK I've been here alone all night so no one else could have done it. No one from THIS world, that is. Anyway, I wiped off the screen and started surfing. When the spots came back, I figured that whatever I had done had wet them or something but didn't get rid of them. So, I got Windex and did it again. I wiped that sucker as hard as you can wipe one of these soft screen things. I don't know what the screen is, but I know it isn't TV screen hard.

Anyway, when the spots came back AGAIN, I looked around and found them on the counter. That's when I took the pictures. Since I posted them, I'm noticing the drops everywhere. I wonder if I have a poltergeist.

That's probably not a good thing to think about when you're alone. Especially when it's not quite light outside.

Well...this is great, it's raining in my house. The ceiling is dry. A leak would come from one place, this rain is going everywhere. OK...someone give me a logical explanation now please.

I'm just going to wipe off the screen and assume that there IS a logical explanation and forget about ghosts and poltergeists and spirits...yep, that's what I'm gonna do.

Oh, I heard something the other day that makes no sense to me. Someone told me that flea collars work because the fleas all go to the animal's eyes to get their water so sooner or later they all go on a pilgrimage that would take them up the animal's neck and therefore close enough to the collar to be zapped. It doesn't make sense for a few reasons.

First of all, the cartoon lines on the commercial that show how the collars work go down the dog's body and around it's backside. I don't think the lines go anywhere near the eyes. Secondly, I'm pretty sure they can get all the fluid they need from whatever body fluids they suck from their host. And lastly (and most importantly), I've seen animals with fleas but I've never seen an animal with his eyeballs covered with fleas. And you know, they'd have to be. At any given time, SOME of the fleas would be sucking up the tears.

I wonder how a silly thing like that gets started?

You guys want to start one? Let's see, what could we tell people today...OK, here's one:

Tell people that you heard on the news that the "naso-media" tissue (I made that up) becomes numb for a day or so after an orgasm. People never notice it because when they pick their noses, they only touch the outer part of their naso-media, which of course, is that thing that divides your nostrils. They never touch the part that gets numb...the flat part under the tip of the nose.

If you wanted to be mean, take out the orgasm and stick in herpes.

Yeah, that's a story that could be real...spread it around. If you tell someone who didn't have an orgasm the night before, they'll be touching their noses because of you the next time they do. And if you use the herpes line, you got 'em. EVERYONE will touch their noses. I like stuff like that.

Oh, did you hear that Fran Drescher is suing the people who do The Family Guy because of Lois's voice? Drescher says it sounds too much like hers. I always assumed the person who did the voice was trying to sound like Fran. I have to admit, I had a hard time getting past that hideous voice when I started watching that show. The rest of it is funny enough to make up for the cringing when I hear Lois speak. That Nanny show didn't quite do that. Drescher should be pleased, her voice is now more famous than it ever was when it was just on HER show.

I just ate a bowl of Cocoa Krispies, the real stuff, not the Kroger brand...and guess what? Only half of the Krispies in that bowl were cocoa. The rest were just regular Krispies covered with a slight sugary glaze. That glaze is made of sugar, why not just make ALL of the sugar a cocoa flavor? There's no reason that I can think of.

You know...it could be that the Cocoa Krispies people are saving money on cocoa by only making 50% of the Krispies cocoa flavored.

I'll be damned.