Damn it...
...every single time I start to feel sorry for myself, some poor schmuck one up's me. I can never feel sorry for myself for any length of time and that's not fair. I should be able to have an occasional pity party without hearing about someone who's worse off than I am. It totally blows the entire celebration.
Here I am, freaking out over the worms on my ceiling and as I was whining about that to you guys, a lady was having brain surgery to remove a tumor. At least that's what she thought was happening. She had all the signs of a tumor. But...the story goes more like this, "Doctors in Arizona thought a Phoenix-area woman had a possible brain tumor, but it turned out there was something else penetrating her brain – a worm."
Now, how badly can I feel over those suckers crawling on the ceiling? At least I don't have worms in my brain. Of course, I can't be sure, but I had brain surgery myself in '99 and they didn't find any worms then. If they had, I'm sure they would have mentioned it.
That story reminds me of a time when I was working in the operating room and we had to set up for an abdominal pull through. Without going into details, trust me...it's a HUGE surgery and it took close to two hours just to set the instruments up. This was all for a patient who also had a "tumor". As soon as the patient was knocked out, the surgeon put him in stirrups so that he could access the tumor. (It was supposedly colon cancer.)
The surgeon was able to pull the "tumor" down a bit and out just enough to see that it wasn't a tumor, it was just the biggest hemorrhoid any of us had ever seen. It was easily the size of my fist. That guy expected to wake up with a colostomy and colon cancer. Instead, he woke up down one hemorrhoid and a little soreness when sitting. Can you imagine how happy he and his family were? That 'roid was one for the record books...I wonder if that guy ever did call Guiness?
I'm not sure how happy the worm lady will be...sure it wasn't a tumor but it was a WORM! Something like that would have me freaked out for the rest of my life. Actually, I may remain freaked out just from reading that story.
I just cannot imagine how in the world a worm could get through the blood-brain barrier that keeps stuff out of the central nervous system. But, it did. The story said that this particular type of worm is one that you could get from not washing your hands after using a public toilet. I'll have to start washing my hands every time I use one of those whether there's someone else watching me or not.
When I go into a public restroom, I do everything in my power not to touch ANYTHING. Of course, my ass touches the toilet but I can't just stand in a public loo scrubbing THAT clean. (By the way...to the women who squat over the toilet without touching it...if you can't aim, you should at least wipe the seat off. I sure don't want to do that but if I walk in after you, I don't have much of a choice if the seat is full of old pee.) I can do everything that I need to do in there without touching anything...unless some nit wit pees on the toilet. THAT I need to use my hands for and I can't stand that thought. Men, when your woman bitches that you left the seat up, follow her into a public restroom to see if she left the seat full of urine. There are a LOT of women out there bitching at men for leaving the seats up when all along, those chicks are leaving puddles of pee for other people to sit in. If I had to choose who to follow, a dude who leaves the seat up or a chick who leaves the seat wet, I'd choose the dude.
Anyway, now that the lady has had her brain exterminated, her troubles are just beginning. Once you have a worm removed from your brain, you pretty much have to live with the nickname "Worm Head". Every single time she makes a stupid little mistake, people will ask her, "Do you have another worm in your brain?" Behind her back people will say, "Be patient with her, she's the brain worm lady!"
Here I am, freaking out over the worms on my ceiling and as I was whining about that to you guys, a lady was having brain surgery to remove a tumor. At least that's what she thought was happening. She had all the signs of a tumor. But...the story goes more like this, "Doctors in Arizona thought a Phoenix-area woman had a possible brain tumor, but it turned out there was something else penetrating her brain – a worm."
Now, how badly can I feel over those suckers crawling on the ceiling? At least I don't have worms in my brain. Of course, I can't be sure, but I had brain surgery myself in '99 and they didn't find any worms then. If they had, I'm sure they would have mentioned it.
That story reminds me of a time when I was working in the operating room and we had to set up for an abdominal pull through. Without going into details, trust me...it's a HUGE surgery and it took close to two hours just to set the instruments up. This was all for a patient who also had a "tumor". As soon as the patient was knocked out, the surgeon put him in stirrups so that he could access the tumor. (It was supposedly colon cancer.)
The surgeon was able to pull the "tumor" down a bit and out just enough to see that it wasn't a tumor, it was just the biggest hemorrhoid any of us had ever seen. It was easily the size of my fist. That guy expected to wake up with a colostomy and colon cancer. Instead, he woke up down one hemorrhoid and a little soreness when sitting. Can you imagine how happy he and his family were? That 'roid was one for the record books...I wonder if that guy ever did call Guiness?
I'm not sure how happy the worm lady will be...sure it wasn't a tumor but it was a WORM! Something like that would have me freaked out for the rest of my life. Actually, I may remain freaked out just from reading that story.
I just cannot imagine how in the world a worm could get through the blood-brain barrier that keeps stuff out of the central nervous system. But, it did. The story said that this particular type of worm is one that you could get from not washing your hands after using a public toilet. I'll have to start washing my hands every time I use one of those whether there's someone else watching me or not.
When I go into a public restroom, I do everything in my power not to touch ANYTHING. Of course, my ass touches the toilet but I can't just stand in a public loo scrubbing THAT clean. (By the way...to the women who squat over the toilet without touching it...if you can't aim, you should at least wipe the seat off. I sure don't want to do that but if I walk in after you, I don't have much of a choice if the seat is full of old pee.) I can do everything that I need to do in there without touching anything...unless some nit wit pees on the toilet. THAT I need to use my hands for and I can't stand that thought. Men, when your woman bitches that you left the seat up, follow her into a public restroom to see if she left the seat full of urine. There are a LOT of women out there bitching at men for leaving the seats up when all along, those chicks are leaving puddles of pee for other people to sit in. If I had to choose who to follow, a dude who leaves the seat up or a chick who leaves the seat wet, I'd choose the dude.
Anyway, now that the lady has had her brain exterminated, her troubles are just beginning. Once you have a worm removed from your brain, you pretty much have to live with the nickname "Worm Head". Every single time she makes a stupid little mistake, people will ask her, "Do you have another worm in your brain?" Behind her back people will say, "Be patient with her, she's the brain worm lady!"
Is a worm better than cancer...yes. But still not any fun. Now she has to check the rest of herself...and anything that comes out of her...for worms. This is just hideous. My ceiling worms are icky and they make my head itch just knowing that they were up there...but I can't imagine what worms inside of me would do. I can run away from a lot of stuff, but I can't run away from brain worms.
I'm getting the shivering willies just thinking about this crap...I have to stop the worm discussion before I need an appointment to deal with my worm issues.
Before I go, think of me the next time you use a public toilet and remember to wash your hands! And ladies...a worm head is better than a seat pee-er.
I'm getting the shivering willies just thinking about this crap...I have to stop the worm discussion before I need an appointment to deal with my worm issues.
Before I go, think of me the next time you use a public toilet and remember to wash your hands! And ladies...a worm head is better than a seat pee-er.
posted by Meg Kelso | 3:26 AM
2 Comments:
I understand exactly what you mean! I just discovered your blog, and I have really enjoyed reading it.
I just discovered my husband has been lying to me and cheating on me, and just when I really want to feel sorry for myself, something happens to remind me that if that man is the worst thing that ever happens to me, I'm still really lucky.
Thanks for the great blog!
Band,
Thanks, happy to be here! Sorry about your hubby, I hope you get over the huge OUCH! soon. Yep, a loser of a guy is actually good to get rid of but that doesn't make the betrayal any less hard to bare. I just hope that you're young enough to have a nice life for yourself. I stayed with a cheater and a liar for 25 years before I couldn't take anymore. I sure hope that you aren't planning to do that!
Good luck!
Meg
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