Here I am again...
...and it's a cold, dreary morning in Atlanta. The leaves have mixed with rain and unless the sun comes out and dries up the planet, I'm not walking the dog today. There's nothing that I need from the store and I have enough work to do to keep me busy through the weekend. So, I'm good.
Last night I went out to dinner with a friend...that guy who I've been friends with since before my divorce. Rick always thought there was something going on between us (at least he accused me to appease his own guilt) but to this day, nada. That's a dude I don't understand. After 7 or 8 years of being friends with an occasional boob grab during a movie, you'd think that sooner or later he would kiss me.
If it weren't for the boob grabs, I would just assume that we're only friends and leave it at that. He's a good guy and a good friend. But, once a man plays with your boobs, a line is crossed. As Seinfeld used to say, "Sex occurs when the nipple makes it's first appearance." And, he takes me out to dinner and pays all the time. I'm not sure how to play this one.
Yesterday was easy because of the pitcher of Margarita's that we shared at dinner. I just played with his leg. He had to leave too soon for me to grab him good. I'm rather befuddled. I asked him earlier if he had to work today and he didn't. So, I don't know why he had to leave by midnight and I don't know why I had to climb into bed alone with my pubes again.
I always think that I'm going to ask him what's going on but then I never do because it seems so stupid and needy. I'd rather come off as pleasantly aloof. So, I never ask this guy what's going on. He's never been married and he's pushing 50. You don't meet too many of those out there. When you do, you have to wonder why.
I haven't seen any psychotic behavior out of this guy although he does play the accordion...well.
Maybe someday I'll get in his pants. I must say, I've never been in this situation. Ordinarily, once you give a guy the go ahead by playing with his inner thigh, he pretty much takes it from there. Between Little No Peep and my very busy fuckbuddy, I have some serious frustrations going on over here.
Oh well, I've gone without before...I actually went a year after my separation. After 9 months, I pretty much was going without any penis so that I would be able to say that "I went without sex for a year." So there, I said it. I know damn well I don't want to do THAT again.
I suppose that I could call Secret Encounters...a new phone service for meeting strangers to have sex with. I actually have commercials for that mixed in with my South Park and Family Guy episodes. They're shown after the "Girls Gone Wild" commercials. I just don't have good luck with dating services...I end up meeting every short person in Atlanta who said that they were 6 feet tall. That free Plenty of Fish site where I found my ex husband's profile was pretty bad...I wouldn't want to have the freaks speaking to me before I got a bit of info.
Speaking of getting info...I have a friend who is in the middle of a divorce. Somehow, she easily guessed her idiot husband's password and hacked into his main account. She reads his correspondence with his attorney, his Filipino girlfriend and his grown kids. She even prints it all out. She said that the hardest part is knowing that he's lying but not being able to say anything or she'll give herself away.
He doesn't know how my friend's attorney always knows exactly how much money he has. When she needs to, the attorney acts on information that my friend got from her hubby's email account.
She has pages and pages of emails that prove he is lying to the Filipino chick and she's just using him to get to America. I don't know if she can see through his lies, but he sure as hell falls for hers.
Just think about it, my friend has access to every important communication with every important person in her hubby's life and she has for well over a year, closer to two. He never changes his password so she just keeps on reading all of his emails and financial statements. What a nimrod.
I could never have kept my mouth shut for that long. I hacked into an email account of a guy who made it easy to hack into and found out that he had an eye for men. It's tough to carry on with a heterosexual relationship after a bombshell like that. Not only am I strictly dickly, I must insist that the men that I sleep with have never shoved Mr. Happy up some dude's ass. Not that there's anything wrong with that...but I couldn't deal with knowing that my competition is some teamster from North Jersey.
Well, kudos to the chick who has found the Enigma to her hubby's life and to the rest of the nit wits, go change your passwords.
: )
...and it's a cold, dreary morning in Atlanta. The leaves have mixed with rain and unless the sun comes out and dries up the planet, I'm not walking the dog today. There's nothing that I need from the store and I have enough work to do to keep me busy through the weekend. So, I'm good.
Last night I went out to dinner with a friend...that guy who I've been friends with since before my divorce. Rick always thought there was something going on between us (at least he accused me to appease his own guilt) but to this day, nada. That's a dude I don't understand. After 7 or 8 years of being friends with an occasional boob grab during a movie, you'd think that sooner or later he would kiss me.
If it weren't for the boob grabs, I would just assume that we're only friends and leave it at that. He's a good guy and a good friend. But, once a man plays with your boobs, a line is crossed. As Seinfeld used to say, "Sex occurs when the nipple makes it's first appearance." And, he takes me out to dinner and pays all the time. I'm not sure how to play this one.
Yesterday was easy because of the pitcher of Margarita's that we shared at dinner. I just played with his leg. He had to leave too soon for me to grab him good. I'm rather befuddled. I asked him earlier if he had to work today and he didn't. So, I don't know why he had to leave by midnight and I don't know why I had to climb into bed alone with my pubes again.
I always think that I'm going to ask him what's going on but then I never do because it seems so stupid and needy. I'd rather come off as pleasantly aloof. So, I never ask this guy what's going on. He's never been married and he's pushing 50. You don't meet too many of those out there. When you do, you have to wonder why.
I haven't seen any psychotic behavior out of this guy although he does play the accordion...well.
Maybe someday I'll get in his pants. I must say, I've never been in this situation. Ordinarily, once you give a guy the go ahead by playing with his inner thigh, he pretty much takes it from there. Between Little No Peep and my very busy fuckbuddy, I have some serious frustrations going on over here.
Oh well, I've gone without before...I actually went a year after my separation. After 9 months, I pretty much was going without any penis so that I would be able to say that "I went without sex for a year." So there, I said it. I know damn well I don't want to do THAT again.
I suppose that I could call Secret Encounters...a new phone service for meeting strangers to have sex with. I actually have commercials for that mixed in with my South Park and Family Guy episodes. They're shown after the "Girls Gone Wild" commercials. I just don't have good luck with dating services...I end up meeting every short person in Atlanta who said that they were 6 feet tall. That free Plenty of Fish site where I found my ex husband's profile was pretty bad...I wouldn't want to have the freaks speaking to me before I got a bit of info.
Speaking of getting info...I have a friend who is in the middle of a divorce. Somehow, she easily guessed her idiot husband's password and hacked into his main account. She reads his correspondence with his attorney, his Filipino girlfriend and his grown kids. She even prints it all out. She said that the hardest part is knowing that he's lying but not being able to say anything or she'll give herself away.
He doesn't know how my friend's attorney always knows exactly how much money he has. When she needs to, the attorney acts on information that my friend got from her hubby's email account.
She has pages and pages of emails that prove he is lying to the Filipino chick and she's just using him to get to America. I don't know if she can see through his lies, but he sure as hell falls for hers.
Just think about it, my friend has access to every important communication with every important person in her hubby's life and she has for well over a year, closer to two. He never changes his password so she just keeps on reading all of his emails and financial statements. What a nimrod.
I could never have kept my mouth shut for that long. I hacked into an email account of a guy who made it easy to hack into and found out that he had an eye for men. It's tough to carry on with a heterosexual relationship after a bombshell like that. Not only am I strictly dickly, I must insist that the men that I sleep with have never shoved Mr. Happy up some dude's ass. Not that there's anything wrong with that...but I couldn't deal with knowing that my competition is some teamster from North Jersey.
Well, kudos to the chick who has found the Enigma to her hubby's life and to the rest of the nit wits, go change your passwords.
: )
posted by Meg Kelso | 4:39 AM
2 Comments:
Next time you see the boob-grab guy, hum a few bars of "viva viagra" and see if he gets the hint.
LOLOLOL, that's a good one! And...I can't wait to do it.
: )
Thanks for the great idea!
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