Sometimes I wonder
If the uncontemplated life is not worth living...
...can we take out those who are too stupid to contemplate even their own navels? If he doesn't think...can I make him cease to be? If the only thing we can be sure of is doubt...then of this I am sure...I doubt my ex husbands will ever disappear from my daily routine.
Before mentioning recent actions by one of my idiot ex's...I considered the fact that I might look bitter years after the divorce. Unfortunately, divorce doesn't occur in a vacuum. See, this is why I'd rather be widowed. When a husband dies, he pretty much stays dead. When he screws other women and you divorce him, he can continue to pop up...and I might add...quite unexpectedly.
I NEVER in a MILLION years would have thought that my ex would be communicating with my family members. I don't fault the family members...I didn't divorce them. I divorced the sonofabitch that I was married to...oh so many years ago. He can't seem to honor my divorce any better than he honored my marriage.
I don't have many ex's...but other than the father of my children, there's no room in my life for the castoffs. I have a reasonable and self disciplined man to spend my time with and the more time that I DO spend with him, the worse my ex looks. None of his actions that lead to our divorce appear any less cowardly with the passage of time. Rather, I see him for what he is, what he was and what he shall remain...a yellow coward who offers nothing to anyone unless doing so serves himself. He looks all the more disgusting in retrospect and I'm nowhere near as bitter as I am really, really mad at myself for drinking until that pig started to look good.
The past doesn't usually take up much of my time, I'm ordinarily more of an "in the moment" chick. But at any given moment, I'm unprepared to hear ANYTHING from my past or the cretins who populate it. But, some part of DIVORCE is mystifying to one of them...the part that implies FUCK OFF! I'm usually happy from one day to the next and I don't want any reminders from my hideous judgement to pop up when I least expect it. That doesn't make me bitter...it just means that I have CHOSEN not to forgive his lying ass and the fact that he has a serious problem with simple concepts like fidelity in marriage or fucking off in divorce.
I could do it, but I don't want to. We don't have to forgive every single person who wrongs us...no one expects us to forgive Nazi's and the person who stole more of my life than prison will take from OJ Simpson is simply not forgivable. It is what it is...the evil of my life and as such I won't "let it go". I'll walk away, happily. That's good enough for me, I can't do anything else. I just wish it were good enough for those from whom I seek to escape.
If this particular animal shows his usual stripes, the recent intrusions into my life are indications of his dissatisfaction with his own life and with himself. I must admit that I find that somewhat gratifying. I would have preferred the divorce to be over when I signed the actual divorce papers...but this is good too.
Postcript:
My ex is why women should not drink and date.
...can we take out those who are too stupid to contemplate even their own navels? If he doesn't think...can I make him cease to be? If the only thing we can be sure of is doubt...then of this I am sure...I doubt my ex husbands will ever disappear from my daily routine.
Before mentioning recent actions by one of my idiot ex's...I considered the fact that I might look bitter years after the divorce. Unfortunately, divorce doesn't occur in a vacuum. See, this is why I'd rather be widowed. When a husband dies, he pretty much stays dead. When he screws other women and you divorce him, he can continue to pop up...and I might add...quite unexpectedly.
I NEVER in a MILLION years would have thought that my ex would be communicating with my family members. I don't fault the family members...I didn't divorce them. I divorced the sonofabitch that I was married to...oh so many years ago. He can't seem to honor my divorce any better than he honored my marriage.
I don't have many ex's...but other than the father of my children, there's no room in my life for the castoffs. I have a reasonable and self disciplined man to spend my time with and the more time that I DO spend with him, the worse my ex looks. None of his actions that lead to our divorce appear any less cowardly with the passage of time. Rather, I see him for what he is, what he was and what he shall remain...a yellow coward who offers nothing to anyone unless doing so serves himself. He looks all the more disgusting in retrospect and I'm nowhere near as bitter as I am really, really mad at myself for drinking until that pig started to look good.
The past doesn't usually take up much of my time, I'm ordinarily more of an "in the moment" chick. But at any given moment, I'm unprepared to hear ANYTHING from my past or the cretins who populate it. But, some part of DIVORCE is mystifying to one of them...the part that implies FUCK OFF! I'm usually happy from one day to the next and I don't want any reminders from my hideous judgement to pop up when I least expect it. That doesn't make me bitter...it just means that I have CHOSEN not to forgive his lying ass and the fact that he has a serious problem with simple concepts like fidelity in marriage or fucking off in divorce.
I could do it, but I don't want to. We don't have to forgive every single person who wrongs us...no one expects us to forgive Nazi's and the person who stole more of my life than prison will take from OJ Simpson is simply not forgivable. It is what it is...the evil of my life and as such I won't "let it go". I'll walk away, happily. That's good enough for me, I can't do anything else. I just wish it were good enough for those from whom I seek to escape.
If this particular animal shows his usual stripes, the recent intrusions into my life are indications of his dissatisfaction with his own life and with himself. I must admit that I find that somewhat gratifying. I would have preferred the divorce to be over when I signed the actual divorce papers...but this is good too.
Postcript:
My ex is why women should not drink and date.
posted by Meg Kelso | 12:43 PM
3 Comments:
I'm sorry about your ex popping up in your life like a mushroom. Although there's great reason for you to still be angry about your ex, I think it's better off for you to just simply let go of your anger and just feel relieved and liberated by the fact that you're no longer married to him. After all, we don't want our wrinkles, crow's feet, and stress marks get the best of us :) Also, in case you're interested, read articles about life after divorce in order to further help you with your post-divorce life.
Speaking of navel contemplators, I don't believe there's a statute of limitations on feelings.
But since some self-proclaimed "Expert" who tend to publish "Self-Help" books which have littered up the good aisles of book stores, self-promoted themselves all over the internet (see above plug for the commentators "site") and generally pandered their lack of common sense, empathy and possibly a diploma from a mail-order mill into a multimillion dollar business as evidenced by the comment above, here's MY response-how's THIS for ya?
My husband died going on 20 yrs. ago. Yep, he was one of the 'good' guys-a genuinely honest, decent, caring human being. No, this is NOT "euphoric recall" as all my friends, his friends, our colleagues, friends and family will attest. I was 38 when he died. So, in the spirit of the above-
"I think it's better off for you to just simply let go of your anger and feel relieved and liberated you're no longer married to him." Really? REALLY?
If this "commentator" read your Blog she might have a clue, starting with the fact the ex and company are repeatedly barging into YOUR life. Wrinkles, crow's feet and stress marks are the inevitable physical manifestation of normal aging, sans botox, restalyn, plastic surgery, implants, wishful thinking and suction a la "Fat Removal/Risky Behavior." No, we don't want to look like Joan Rivers. YES, feelings just ARE. And if you're as dense as this comment seems to imply, no one who's taken "Psychology 101" or just simply LIVED in this world would EVER go near the lobotomized, truly ignorant masquerading as human beings OR a site mentioned oh-so-conveniently in this comment. I call it, "Shilling For Clients/Money In Cyberspace."
Bite me. :)
TW
What she said.
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