OMG!!!
OMG! OMG! OMG!
OMG! I don't know what the hell to do. I made a huge boo-boo and now it's there for the entire computer literate world to see. I want to crawl under something truly large, heavy and stealthy. Maybe a fake rock would do. It would need to be a HUGE fake rock...with plumbing...but I need that sucker ASAP!
OK, I've calmed myself down a bit after practicing something that I learned to enjoy in California.
OK then, speaking of California, I spend a lot of time there, almost always in LA. Now, I used to do stand-up a lot back east. I had my own show with a cast full of comics that I've watched rise to amazing levels, a few even make a living with their comedy now. Unfortunately, my divorce made stand-up as scary as the rest of life as a divorcee.
But, after a while, I began doing it again, occasionally, mainly because my divorce was so funny in retrospect. Although I've been able to make jokes about my ex, I didn't really see the humor in it until time had passed. Anyway, I was in LA earlier this year and I went to The Funny Farm (I think it was that one, I get them mixed up. BUT...I know where to go when the comics commiserate over a California medicinal herb so naturally, I partook when I got to the comedy club. That was stupid. My material was new, you see. I hadn't practiced it on anyone and I was dumb enough to go to a huge club in LA and "partake" before a show.
Oh, and then we have your run of the mill "Two Drink Minimum". Of course, two drinks is all one needs to say, "Ahoy mateys...let's have four more drinks! We can have THREE Two Drink Minimums!" Now, I rarely drink so two of anything will make me stupid but drinking liquor doesn't help matters. If memory serves, I was drinking whiskey sours. I don't know how many I had, but I'm quite sure it was 3 or more. My guess is more, but not many. Of course, I passed "bright" before I drank 2 so any more than that is bad. 3, 4 or 5...I was stupid at 2. Oh, and I was quite high as well. Medicinal you know.
Anyway, being the newbie that I was to the west coast comedy scene, I was given the coveted LAST spot on the schedule that night. It didn't matter that I was friends with the headliner or that he was staying late to see me perform.
OMG!!! I just freaked again thinking of that!
Anyway, another headlining comedian was taping people for a TV show and he wanted to tape me. "Sure!" I said, "I'll have more of those whiskey drinks first though...I'm SOOOO much funnier THAT way!"
Well, sooner or later, I had to go and perform on a stage with a camera and 2 famous dudes (at least) in the audience. Of course, there wasn't anyone else in the audience, everyone left when they saw the people they had come to see and I didn't even know that I would be doing this, certainly no one else did either.
Oh...it was awful. I got up there and imediately forgot what I had planned to say. I was just tossing out words and wishing I would find myself suddenly sober. But alas...that never happened. At one point I simply reverted back to old stuff and finished with that but I would have rather had a seizure on stage, it's better than being stupid up there.
I forgot all about that hideous experience. And I learned that I'm no Ron White. I have no business mixing whiskey and stuff you memorized within the past 24 hours. As for the dude with the camera? I forgot all about him. Whodda think he would have wasted his film?
Well, he did. And someone just sent me the website...I am truly frightened.
OMG! OMG! OMG!
OMG! I don't know what the hell to do. I made a huge boo-boo and now it's there for the entire computer literate world to see. I want to crawl under something truly large, heavy and stealthy. Maybe a fake rock would do. It would need to be a HUGE fake rock...with plumbing...but I need that sucker ASAP!
OK, I've calmed myself down a bit after practicing something that I learned to enjoy in California.
OK then, speaking of California, I spend a lot of time there, almost always in LA. Now, I used to do stand-up a lot back east. I had my own show with a cast full of comics that I've watched rise to amazing levels, a few even make a living with their comedy now. Unfortunately, my divorce made stand-up as scary as the rest of life as a divorcee.
But, after a while, I began doing it again, occasionally, mainly because my divorce was so funny in retrospect. Although I've been able to make jokes about my ex, I didn't really see the humor in it until time had passed. Anyway, I was in LA earlier this year and I went to The Funny Farm (I think it was that one, I get them mixed up. BUT...I know where to go when the comics commiserate over a California medicinal herb so naturally, I partook when I got to the comedy club. That was stupid. My material was new, you see. I hadn't practiced it on anyone and I was dumb enough to go to a huge club in LA and "partake" before a show.
Oh, and then we have your run of the mill "Two Drink Minimum". Of course, two drinks is all one needs to say, "Ahoy mateys...let's have four more drinks! We can have THREE Two Drink Minimums!" Now, I rarely drink so two of anything will make me stupid but drinking liquor doesn't help matters. If memory serves, I was drinking whiskey sours. I don't know how many I had, but I'm quite sure it was 3 or more. My guess is more, but not many. Of course, I passed "bright" before I drank 2 so any more than that is bad. 3, 4 or 5...I was stupid at 2. Oh, and I was quite high as well. Medicinal you know.
Anyway, being the newbie that I was to the west coast comedy scene, I was given the coveted LAST spot on the schedule that night. It didn't matter that I was friends with the headliner or that he was staying late to see me perform.
OMG!!! I just freaked again thinking of that!
Anyway, another headlining comedian was taping people for a TV show and he wanted to tape me. "Sure!" I said, "I'll have more of those whiskey drinks first though...I'm SOOOO much funnier THAT way!"
Well, sooner or later, I had to go and perform on a stage with a camera and 2 famous dudes (at least) in the audience. Of course, there wasn't anyone else in the audience, everyone left when they saw the people they had come to see and I didn't even know that I would be doing this, certainly no one else did either.
Oh...it was awful. I got up there and imediately forgot what I had planned to say. I was just tossing out words and wishing I would find myself suddenly sober. But alas...that never happened. At one point I simply reverted back to old stuff and finished with that but I would have rather had a seizure on stage, it's better than being stupid up there.
I forgot all about that hideous experience. And I learned that I'm no Ron White. I have no business mixing whiskey and stuff you memorized within the past 24 hours. As for the dude with the camera? I forgot all about him. Whodda think he would have wasted his film?
Well, he did. And someone just sent me the website...I am truly frightened.
posted by Meg Kelso | 8:29 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home