Good morning!

I have invented a new product. It's a serious of mirrors that allows you to see into the deepest recesses of your ears. No longer will your doctor pull out a huge junk-O-ear wax that you didn't even know was there. The humiliation of stealth ear wax balls will no longer be a problem. Even dirty ears are spotted in time to clean them before the doc's ear speculum invades your filthy ear canal.

People seem to forget that others around them CAN INDEED see into their funky ears. My ex's ears were so funkified that I had to change sides so I wouldn't look into a world of ear faeries, forestland and fungi. Unfortunately, both of his ears would often be equally frightening so I just stared straight ahead.

That worked until bedtime when I would lie in bed thinking about the heftiness of his ear gook. It could easily have a minor ear explosion that would shoot his ball of wax out of his big, bald, bootless head (If not feckless!). The thought of a top heavy ball-O-wax rolling around in my bed just plain old FREAKED ME OUT!

I do enjoy sleeping alone, of course I still worry about the national bed bug problem and the lack of a big warm blob to keep me warm. BUT, I don't have to worry about errant ear wax so I'm good.

Anyway, my product can be worn like backwards glasses and with a vanity mirror in front of you, you can see into your ears as well as a doctor can do with his ticklish little toys. I'd show it to you now but with the new patenting laws, I have to wait for now. :)