Interesting little tidbit...
The fear is rather debilitating because you're constantly afraid that whatever you do will just end up all botched up, leading to further disarray which in itself makes a fertile ground for angst. An extremely uncomfortable, acute and constant sense of impending doom follows me around night and day. I'm not sure why this is getting so bad right now but it can't be good for anyone. I have too many things that I want and need to do; I can't let an irrational fear rule me as this fear seems to be doing. Whatever, the worst that can happen is the stress explodes a blood vessel in my brain and I croak. When it comes to croaking, I have the same thoughts as did Socrates...death is either an heavenly place where people would live forever with the Gods or it was nothing but a long sleep, either way, he didn't find it frightening. It's odd, but I'm not afraid of death, supposedly the worst thing that could happen, but the thought of going out the front door is daunting.
Anyway, not counting the sudden increase of my anxiety issues, I'm doing well. That last stroke left me with some deficits that I've been able to overcome by just using the afflicted body parts but one thing is still causing problems. It's my short term memory. If a friend of mine goes to the store after checking to see if I need anything and then telling me that he'll be right back as he walks out the door, in 10 minutes I'll be walking around trying to find him. Then I think to myself, "Remember how nuts you are? He must have already left for the store." Try as I might, I can't remember him walking out the door. I guess if you KNOW you're nuts, you're still OK. This should be interesting to experience...stay tuned in occasionally and see if I end up like Charlie Gordon in Flowers for Algernon. If you should note any decline in my online demeanor, please let me know.