April Fool's Day jokes

For anyone who chooses to pass a doobie on April Fool's Day, here's something that promises to be rather annoying. It's simple enough, as you pass the item between your fingers, suddenly suffer a sneeze attack. I don't mean one of my father's ghastly sneeze attacks...he goes FAR out of his way (risking ruptured cerebral blood supplies...his, mine...anyone else's in the room.), I mean one of those quick little achews...you know, just enough to move your hand every time he or she goes to receive your "package". I thought of it after two REAL quick little sneezes...I just never stopped. I do so tickle me.

Oddly enough, for a man who tried to inculcate a sense of "SHUT UP!" in his children, his sneezes are unnecessarily and frighteningly loud. I've seen him terrorize babies with his startlingly frightful and ridiculously loud sneezes. If one of his children had tried that ONCE he would have started with an "Is that NECESSARY?" and then continued on in a manner consistent with his mood. To this day he scares the crap out of me every time he sneezes.

But, back to practical jokes. With April Fool's Day coming up, I've been thinking about some of my favorite pranks. One that I've enjoyed over many, many decades is one that requires a bobby pin, rubber band, button and an envelop. You might need a small pair of needle nose pliers (I do.) or just really strong fingers.

OK...that's the picture that I drew in Paint. It actually took me over half an hour. Don't ask, you had to be there. Turning the ends of the bobby pin back so that the rubber band doesn't slip off is the part for which you may need the pliers. The yellow part is the rubber band, tie it in a square not to one end of the bobby pin, then before tying it to the other end, put the rubber band through one hole in a button and then through another one so it comes out the same side of the button. (I know there should have been 4 holes on the button I drew but it was too tough to draw the 2 stupid holes that I did put there so I just assumed you guys would know that the button was wrong and mock me.)

OK...now you need to spin the button around and around, also twisting the rubber band at the same time. (If your button has holes too large to hold the rubber band taut, tie the band in knots between the button holes. I'd just find a button with smaller holes.)

Now, holding the button in place, slide the entire thing into an envelop, close the envelop (tuck in the flap, don't seal it.) and fold it in half. Some people just write "Rattle snake rattle" on the envelop but I don't. Instead, I wait until the moment the person I hand it to has reached the point of no return and opens the envelop and I say, "Is that alive?" Anyway, you're supposed to write on the envelop and then hand it, still folded, to them. When they begin to open the envelop, the button spins, hitting the envelop and making it shake with a scary sound. Most people, especially girls, will freak.

Watch this video if you want to see it done and at least hear the sound (low as it may be on the vid) and get an idea what I mean.

Now, I have to go eat dinner. I'll be back with other jokes for April Fool's afterwards.