Good morning!
I had a medical procedure done yesterday so I wasn’t able to write anything last night. Also, I have to have another MRI done. Coincidentally, yesterday I mentioned that I was claustrophobic and I have quite a problem with those MRI’s. They call them “open” but the "opening" is where you can’t see it so it is useless to me as far as alleviating the claustrophobia is concerned. The only way that I can tolerate the procedure is to be blindfolded before I ever get to the machine and then to lie on the table with someone that I know holding onto my foot during the MRI which takes about 45 minutes. Vex used to do that for me. During the last year or so, he wouldn't. He was always too "busy". So my son did it for me. I hope he (my son) is available for this next one...otherwise I will totally panic and struggle to get out as though my very life depended on it. The first time I ever had one, my eyes were closed as I went in and I made the mistake of opening them. They couldn’t get me out of that big tomb-like box quickly enough. I would happily become a cave dwelling troglodyte before I would leave a decent size cave if the only way out was a very small tunnel that went on for any distance.
Anyway, I was speaking to the nurse yesterday and she told me about her sister and her sister's marriage. I asked her if she would mind if I used her sister’s story on my blog. She said yes because she wanted to show her sister what I had to say as well as any comments regarding the predicament.
So, here goes. I am going to call the sister Kelly and the husband Jeff. (Geez, what if those turned out to be their real names? I don’t think that the nurse ever really mentioned the names, she just referred to them as her “sister” and the "husband". Oh well, I chose those names out of thin air and I have seen so many people do this kind of stuff that it could apply to a very large number of people which is why I wanted to write about it in the first place.
OK, Kelly and the nurse had a father who was in the military and the very nature of his job kept him abroad most of the time so these girls pretty much had no father. Apparently, he was no prize when he was around so that the girls were never allowed to have a healthy father-daughter relationship. Being the first; and so critically important relationship that a girl has with a man, this relationship (or lack thereof) sets the tone for the rest of a little girl's life so far as men are concerned.
That can be good or bad. In this case, it was very bad. Kelly grew up to be very clingy and insecure. That, in itself, is not so bad. But in Kelly's case, it cultivated a very manipulative woman. Manipulation works well for her and she doesn’t know how else to relate to a man. So, she tends to treat Jeff with a colossal degree of what can only be described as ownership. The first thing that she did to stake her claim was to lie about being on birth control (guys, don’t be stupid, this could happen to you!) and of course she became pregnant. Jeff has an innate desire to do the right thing and he is trying to. He knows that she would get custody of the child in a divorce because, other the way she treats Jeff, she is actually a good mother. At this point in time, he sincerely believes he is doing the right thing by his daughter.
After marking her territory by becoming the mother of his child, she did it literally as well by having him tattoo her name in a very visible location so that no matter what he wears, it can be seen. (As though it would do any good. Far too many women would consider that to be one helluva challenge. DUH!) She handles all of the money and doles him out an allowance for which he must account. (My ex did that to me. I had to produce receipts and correct change upon arrival home. Remember, he who looks behind doors has stood behind many?) She totally distrusts him even though so far, he has given her no reason at all to be suspicious. She outright admits that fact to her family. Yet, she thoroughly controls him and uses the child as a tool.
Anyway, while a person may stick around for a while, they won't abide this behavior forever. They WILL eventually stray. People do have their pride. People also have an intrinsic craving to feel appreciated. On a nice, bright spring day, some tramp or gigolo will be lying in wait, ready to pounce on ANY person of the opposite sex ( something I like to call P.O.T.O.S.). They will jump all over that married person who could be particularly vulnerable at any given moment. In her attempt to control Jeff and make him hers and hers alone, she has set up the perfect scenario for him to cheat. And I lay ya 4 to 1 odds that she is the kind of woman who would put up with affairs forever, becoming more and more miserable as her life dragged dismally on.
Of course, there is always the possibility that Kelly could just lose complete respect for Jeff and SHE ultimately does the cheating. One way or another, this marriage is doomed for failure, wouldn’t you say? The only way I see out of it is for Kelly to seek counseling and to include Jeff in on some of the sessions so that she can learn how to let a man love her.
What do you guys think? Remember, the nurse respectfully requested that I ask ya’ll for your comments. I personally would appreciate anyone who might have a moment to help this lady out. The reason that I even bothered is because of the possibilty that we could do Kelly some help. But, if we, sadly, cannot help Kelly, wouldn't it be neat if we did help somebody out there?
:):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):)
Well, my father has left and I have to do a few things but I shall be back soon.
Meg
I had a medical procedure done yesterday so I wasn’t able to write anything last night. Also, I have to have another MRI done. Coincidentally, yesterday I mentioned that I was claustrophobic and I have quite a problem with those MRI’s. They call them “open” but the "opening" is where you can’t see it so it is useless to me as far as alleviating the claustrophobia is concerned. The only way that I can tolerate the procedure is to be blindfolded before I ever get to the machine and then to lie on the table with someone that I know holding onto my foot during the MRI which takes about 45 minutes. Vex used to do that for me. During the last year or so, he wouldn't. He was always too "busy". So my son did it for me. I hope he (my son) is available for this next one...otherwise I will totally panic and struggle to get out as though my very life depended on it. The first time I ever had one, my eyes were closed as I went in and I made the mistake of opening them. They couldn’t get me out of that big tomb-like box quickly enough. I would happily become a cave dwelling troglodyte before I would leave a decent size cave if the only way out was a very small tunnel that went on for any distance.
Anyway, I was speaking to the nurse yesterday and she told me about her sister and her sister's marriage. I asked her if she would mind if I used her sister’s story on my blog. She said yes because she wanted to show her sister what I had to say as well as any comments regarding the predicament.
So, here goes. I am going to call the sister Kelly and the husband Jeff. (Geez, what if those turned out to be their real names? I don’t think that the nurse ever really mentioned the names, she just referred to them as her “sister” and the "husband". Oh well, I chose those names out of thin air and I have seen so many people do this kind of stuff that it could apply to a very large number of people which is why I wanted to write about it in the first place.
OK, Kelly and the nurse had a father who was in the military and the very nature of his job kept him abroad most of the time so these girls pretty much had no father. Apparently, he was no prize when he was around so that the girls were never allowed to have a healthy father-daughter relationship. Being the first; and so critically important relationship that a girl has with a man, this relationship (or lack thereof) sets the tone for the rest of a little girl's life so far as men are concerned.
That can be good or bad. In this case, it was very bad. Kelly grew up to be very clingy and insecure. That, in itself, is not so bad. But in Kelly's case, it cultivated a very manipulative woman. Manipulation works well for her and she doesn’t know how else to relate to a man. So, she tends to treat Jeff with a colossal degree of what can only be described as ownership. The first thing that she did to stake her claim was to lie about being on birth control (guys, don’t be stupid, this could happen to you!) and of course she became pregnant. Jeff has an innate desire to do the right thing and he is trying to. He knows that she would get custody of the child in a divorce because, other the way she treats Jeff, she is actually a good mother. At this point in time, he sincerely believes he is doing the right thing by his daughter.
After marking her territory by becoming the mother of his child, she did it literally as well by having him tattoo her name in a very visible location so that no matter what he wears, it can be seen. (As though it would do any good. Far too many women would consider that to be one helluva challenge. DUH!) She handles all of the money and doles him out an allowance for which he must account. (My ex did that to me. I had to produce receipts and correct change upon arrival home. Remember, he who looks behind doors has stood behind many?) She totally distrusts him even though so far, he has given her no reason at all to be suspicious. She outright admits that fact to her family. Yet, she thoroughly controls him and uses the child as a tool.
Anyway, while a person may stick around for a while, they won't abide this behavior forever. They WILL eventually stray. People do have their pride. People also have an intrinsic craving to feel appreciated. On a nice, bright spring day, some tramp or gigolo will be lying in wait, ready to pounce on ANY person of the opposite sex ( something I like to call P.O.T.O.S.). They will jump all over that married person who could be particularly vulnerable at any given moment. In her attempt to control Jeff and make him hers and hers alone, she has set up the perfect scenario for him to cheat. And I lay ya 4 to 1 odds that she is the kind of woman who would put up with affairs forever, becoming more and more miserable as her life dragged dismally on.
Of course, there is always the possibility that Kelly could just lose complete respect for Jeff and SHE ultimately does the cheating. One way or another, this marriage is doomed for failure, wouldn’t you say? The only way I see out of it is for Kelly to seek counseling and to include Jeff in on some of the sessions so that she can learn how to let a man love her.
What do you guys think? Remember, the nurse respectfully requested that I ask ya’ll for your comments. I personally would appreciate anyone who might have a moment to help this lady out. The reason that I even bothered is because of the possibilty that we could do Kelly some help. But, if we, sadly, cannot help Kelly, wouldn't it be neat if we did help somebody out there?
:):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):)
Well, my father has left and I have to do a few things but I shall be back soon.
Meg
posted by Meg Kelso | 8:05 AM
3 Comments:
Auntie,
Of course you are right. The nurse said that she had been wanting to speak to her sister(by the way, I forgot to mention that they are twins, so they usually can talk about anything) about this but that she felt as though she couldn't articulate in a very good manner so I offered to do it in an attempt to TRY to point it out. I was going on the admittedly THIN chance that she will seriously consider what we all say and at least THINK about things. Also, as I said, there is always the possibility that someone else might see themselves in this story. If anyone out there thinks that they might see themselves, I hope you look for the simlilarities and not the differences.
Meg
Maybe he really loves her and would do anything for her to make her happy.
Yeah, but if she could have done that, she wouldn't have wanted me to do this and I wanted to let people who might see this and be in the same situation hear some input. I didn't want to give her any reason to say, "See, it COULDN'T be me, even the blog people say don't listen". I guess they can do that now..
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