Good morning!
You know, I have been doing a lot of thinking and observing lately. I've been contemplating the different aspects of different men. I don't want to categorize them in this post, just make some comments about men in general. I have met some of the sweetest men lately (of course, there have been the ones that have me playing defense) but a few of the guys I have spent time with are very sweet. (I chose that word carefully.)
My purpose in doing this is to explain the behaviour of many women. I realize that many of us treat some of you with distrust going in. Although I accept responsibility for my actions, I want to explain them, not justify them.
I have never been married to a man who didn't cheat on me. My 2nd husband did eventually realize the errors of his ways but it was too late for me, I had lost respect for him and I couldn't get it back. Perhaps I could have if I had stayed longer and I often wish that I had.
But Vex was merciless and unrelenting in his pursuit of other women, married or not. He left me convinced that men were scum. I know now that they are not. But when you invest everything you have in a man and he betrays you...it can be a little traumatic to your ability to trust another man.
More recently, I have encountered men who have treated me with kindness and respect. I made the mistake of overlooking their kindness and jumped to all kinds of conclusions. They did not deserve it and I am very ashamed that I hurt/misjudged any one of them. I feel truly sorry that I did that. I have learned from it though, I shall not be doing it again.
When a woman has so much excess baggage, she doesn't mean to transfer her anger/hurt onto the decent men, she is just trying to prevent further pain and disappointment. You can thank the loser dudes for that.
Of course, sometimes it is just a case where there was no decent male in a woman's early life, but the loser dudes only serve to make THOSE women feel even less trustful of the kind men. We can't seem to believe that there could possibly be a man out there who is different from the ones that have hurt us.
So, I want to tell you (the men) and my fellow women that I have been convinced that there are men out there who have standards and ethics. They think more of themselves than to treat a woman badly. None of us are perfect, but a lot of us (men and woman) are just honorable people, looking for someone to make us feel whole again.
I didn't even realize how wrongly I had treated one person because I believed that I was right and that he was a bum. He wasn't. While speaking to him, I actually FELT that he was far too gentle and considerate to be the hideous cretin that I had assumed he was. I thought about every moment we have spent together and I realized that he has been nothing but sweet. I shortchanged him with out reason. Well, I had a reason, but I had jumped to the wrong conclusion and underestimated the man that he is and I had ignored all of the kind things he had done for me. I let all of that go right out the window and treated him poorly.
As we spoke and I thought about things...I could FEEL in my heart that this man couldn't possibly do a woman harm, at least not on purpose. He, like so many other men, is just a nice guy, trying to get by in a world where so many women are jaded and expect the worst in men. Now, I know that there are quite a few men that are loser bums. But I am finally, for the first time in my life, realizing that the testosterone induced are not necessarily evil.
I can't be too hard on the women who do expect the worse, I know why they do it. But I am very happy that I have encountered such decent men. I know now that someday, I will meet someone who will love me and only me. I am not in a big hurry for that to happen, hurrying things like that won't work. But I am encouraged and I have found hope for the future. Vex took a lot of things away from me and that's too bad. But someone gave me a lot of it back and whatever happens, I know that I will find someone whom I can call "the love of my life". That's a big step for me...a few months ago, I would have laughed at anyone who told me that I would feel this way...in my heart, not just my head.
Meg
You know, I have been doing a lot of thinking and observing lately. I've been contemplating the different aspects of different men. I don't want to categorize them in this post, just make some comments about men in general. I have met some of the sweetest men lately (of course, there have been the ones that have me playing defense) but a few of the guys I have spent time with are very sweet. (I chose that word carefully.)
My purpose in doing this is to explain the behaviour of many women. I realize that many of us treat some of you with distrust going in. Although I accept responsibility for my actions, I want to explain them, not justify them.
I have never been married to a man who didn't cheat on me. My 2nd husband did eventually realize the errors of his ways but it was too late for me, I had lost respect for him and I couldn't get it back. Perhaps I could have if I had stayed longer and I often wish that I had.
But Vex was merciless and unrelenting in his pursuit of other women, married or not. He left me convinced that men were scum. I know now that they are not. But when you invest everything you have in a man and he betrays you...it can be a little traumatic to your ability to trust another man.
More recently, I have encountered men who have treated me with kindness and respect. I made the mistake of overlooking their kindness and jumped to all kinds of conclusions. They did not deserve it and I am very ashamed that I hurt/misjudged any one of them. I feel truly sorry that I did that. I have learned from it though, I shall not be doing it again.
When a woman has so much excess baggage, she doesn't mean to transfer her anger/hurt onto the decent men, she is just trying to prevent further pain and disappointment. You can thank the loser dudes for that.
Of course, sometimes it is just a case where there was no decent male in a woman's early life, but the loser dudes only serve to make THOSE women feel even less trustful of the kind men. We can't seem to believe that there could possibly be a man out there who is different from the ones that have hurt us.
So, I want to tell you (the men) and my fellow women that I have been convinced that there are men out there who have standards and ethics. They think more of themselves than to treat a woman badly. None of us are perfect, but a lot of us (men and woman) are just honorable people, looking for someone to make us feel whole again.
I didn't even realize how wrongly I had treated one person because I believed that I was right and that he was a bum. He wasn't. While speaking to him, I actually FELT that he was far too gentle and considerate to be the hideous cretin that I had assumed he was. I thought about every moment we have spent together and I realized that he has been nothing but sweet. I shortchanged him with out reason. Well, I had a reason, but I had jumped to the wrong conclusion and underestimated the man that he is and I had ignored all of the kind things he had done for me. I let all of that go right out the window and treated him poorly.
As we spoke and I thought about things...I could FEEL in my heart that this man couldn't possibly do a woman harm, at least not on purpose. He, like so many other men, is just a nice guy, trying to get by in a world where so many women are jaded and expect the worst in men. Now, I know that there are quite a few men that are loser bums. But I am finally, for the first time in my life, realizing that the testosterone induced are not necessarily evil.
I can't be too hard on the women who do expect the worse, I know why they do it. But I am very happy that I have encountered such decent men. I know now that someday, I will meet someone who will love me and only me. I am not in a big hurry for that to happen, hurrying things like that won't work. But I am encouraged and I have found hope for the future. Vex took a lot of things away from me and that's too bad. But someone gave me a lot of it back and whatever happens, I know that I will find someone whom I can call "the love of my life". That's a big step for me...a few months ago, I would have laughed at anyone who told me that I would feel this way...in my heart, not just my head.
Meg
posted by Meg Kelso | 11:37 PM
1 Comments:
Meg,
That sounds like two steps forward, with no steps back. Congratulations!!
Now if I may insert my two cents, all women are evil! I’ve been divorced 5 months and the feelings haven’t changed. My divorce was finalized one week before out 20th anniversary. She decided she wanted a fellow on the side last summer. I couldn’t share. All women are evil!
Have a nice day.
david
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