Men ogling in the grocery store with their wives present - not a good situation....thought I was just some guy out with his wife flirting with her. I guess that happens to women far more than I would have thought.

Yep. It certainly does. When we are young, it’s the young freaks with their car horns and then when we get older, we have to deal with the older men, ogling like pigs. It’s very annoying to be walking down the street and have some nut honk their horn. It scares the tar out of you. I have since been returning the favor, watching the dudes jump as though a bee just stung them in the backside.

I was in McDonald’s once with my daughter and some old pervert was staring at her bottom. I noticed it, and it WAS my daughter so I said, “Listen you perv, if you are going to drool all over some girl who is a fraction of your age, you should make sure that her mother isn’t standing right there watching you.” I said it nice and loud, all the other women laughed and the men just sort of stood there, obviously glad they it was not they who had incurred my wrath.

It happens so often that we kind of just ignore it but every so often, it comes across as particularly disrespectful. Vex would do it so often that it was kind of funny. Once, we were walking out of my workplace with a friend of mine. She walked ahead of us and his eyes caught a glimpse of her large butt and he couldn’t take his eyes off of that ass, even after he knew I had noticed. Of course, when I pointed it out, he denied it. He always had some excuse, “I wasn’t looking at her, I was looking past per at that tree.” He insulted my intelligence so often that I have to think that he thought I was a moron.

When he tried to tell me that it was normal for a man to ogle women, I told him that I didn’t care if it was normal. There are a lot of things that any one man might find normal. But, if the woman finds it unacceptable, then her wishes should be respected. I told Vex that while it may be normal, “I don’t appreciate it and I won’t tolerate it. If you want to go and ogle women, do it. Just leave me first. I have the right to a man who won’t do that. You can have the ogling, but you can’t have me, too. So, leave me and then do what you want.”

A man has the freedom to do whatever he wants to do but when he marries, he makes a trade. If he wants to ogle women for the rest of his life, he should find a wife who doesn’t mind. There are women who don’t mind at all. But, some of us do. So, either find a woman who doesn’t mind, or stop doing it once you are married. I didn’t care what he looked at when I wasn’t around. But, if I am standing right next to him, I would prefer that he avoid looking at other women. As I said, I felt sorry for the wife who’s husband was staring at me. I don’t want the pity of some woman that Vex is staring at.

I understand that sometimes you just see a very pretty girl and can’t help yourselves, but just take a glance and then look away before anybody gets angry. Men are very visual creatures so I do understand. But women are very sensitive to those things. A decent man is concerned about the feelings of other people and will go out of his way to avoid hurting others.

Women are not as visual as men are but men should consider how it would feel to have their women looking at other guys. If your wife hung up picture of some half naked man up in her sewing room, how would it make you feel? If she hung out the car window and whistled at men passing by, wouldn’t you feel bad? Picture this scenario:

A woman is driving her car to the store and her man is in the passenger seat. The woman sees a construction worker at a work site. She hollers out the window, “Hey there cutie, I like those shoulders!” As they pull into the store, she sees another looker getting out of his car. “Oooohh baby! I love those legs!” They go into the store and she sees another guy, scantily clad. She gets behind him with her cart with her man is walking next to her. She leads her man all around the store, following the scantily clad guy the entire time. Then, she says to her man, “You know, I love to see men with most of their clothes off. I like imagining how they would look naked. I enjoy picturing them on top of me. Did you notice that blonde guy? Wasn’t he particularly cute? And his ass...man, it was just so nice and firm. I will be thinking about that while you and I have sex tonight.”

Now, I know that you guys, for the most part, don’t do that, but you might as well. That’s how it appears to us. If that feeling is acceptable to you, then ogle away without concern for what your women think. But, if you think it might hurt your feelings a little bit, try to stop doing it to your women.

When a man does look, this is pretty much the message that he is sending:

I have a woman, but as you can see, that woman over there is much better looking. I will go home and make love to my wife, but I will imagine myself making love to that woman instead. I know it kind of hurts my wife when I look at other women, but she is not that important to me, at least not as important as it is for me to eyeball other women with her around. All men do this, it’s my right as a man to look. If my wife doesn’t like it, screw her, she is being unreasonable.

If you think she is being unreasonable, find a woman who wouldn’t mind. Oh, good luck with that, by the way.

I have heard people say, “When we are together, it’s as though there isn’t another soul in the world.” Well, the ogling behavior says the exact opposite. So, if you want a person to feel as though there isn’t anyone else in the world but you, then act like it’s true. If you make a woman feel special, she will certainly make you feel good as well.

Well, my son wants to use the computer so I have to go clean something. I will be back soon.

Meg