Hanging around a discussion forum...
...I picked up on an interesting conversation. They were discussing a few things that you would be better off picking up AFTER you dropped your date off:
KY jelly and depends, Squeeze cheese and a personal massager, spray candy, tobacco sauce, and Zippo fluid, hemorrhoid cream, Rope, matches, anything remotely phallic, and girlie magazines, Duct tape , Lime , and bleach, Popsicle sticks and adhesive tape, don't pick up anything antifungal, gas related or old people related.
Some people were a little bit more practical in what they wouldn’t pick up:
The cashier. Worse yet, the cashier's wife.
And then, some people are just busy looking at what others are buying:
I was in a 7-11 one night picking up a Diet Coke and a brownie, when the guy in front of me picked up hot dog buns and KY Jelly while his girlfriend was in the car.
Some people are just so happy to be on a date, they don’t mind if they date does buy an extension cord, saran wrap and a Twinkie:
Let her/him get whatever she/he wants. Hey...HELLO, you got a date!
Yikes...I guess that person hasn’t considered the options...or else they have and they just think that being alone is worse than any of them.
Another thing you might want to consider, slang terms for the "can"...be careful which ones you use and around whom you use them. My first husband pulled up to a gas station and declared, “I have to hit the head.” He then trotted smartly into the men's room.
My mind went over many options as I sat in the car waiting for him to finish hitting his head. I had no CLUE what that meant. He eventually told me...he had just gotten out of the Marines and that’s what they called the La Trine. Well, explain that to a lady, why doncha?
I heard my son’s alarm go off so I made him breakfast and I brewed a fresh pot of coffee. I didn’t want coffee...and I didn’t want eggs for breakfast. I made them for him. After his alarm went off, I gave him about a half an hour to come out and when he didn’t, I went in to ask him when he wanted to get up. He said, “Noon.”
I asked him what time he had to leave for work and he said that he didn’t.
“Then why did you set your alarm clock?”
“In case I wanted to get up early. I don’t.”
Well, neither did I, but now I’m up...all because I wanted to be a nice mommy and make breakfast for the ingrate. His alarm clock woke ME up...but not him.
"But I made you BREAKFAST!", (She said with a whiny nasal tone.)...what am I gonna do with all this FOO-OOD? (She said in the same whiny nasal tone, making two syllables out of the word "food", instead of one.)
“Put it in the microwave...I’ll eat it later.”
That’s what I get for being spontaneously sweet. See if I do THAT again this year. Eggs are no good reheated. Neither are those big-ass Grands Biscuits. Thank God I didn’t peel, wash, and fry potatoes. I would have dragged his white butt out of that bed.
Or waffles. Oh...I miss waffles. I sold my waffle iron in the Betrayed Wife Sale last year, actually, I think it was a year ago to the day. I had my surgery of the 25th and it was the following Friday. I don’t know, it was this time last year. I sold a bunch of stuff that I shouldn’t have. I panicked and didn’t know what to do to pay the bills so I sold everything I could. Like I said, I don’t know how, but one way or another I’ve managed to pay the bills although it is getting pretty freaky right now.
Oh, now MY alarm clock is going off...BRB.
That is the dumbest alarm clock on the planet. When I HAD the directions, it took me an hour to set it. I have dared many a person to try to set that ridiculous alarm clock...they all go at it with full confidence and conviction..."Of COURSE I can set an alarm clock!"
They all eventually give up, red faced and flustered.
Of all the people who I ever asked to set that alarm clock, only one person did it, he did it right and he did it fast. He was a complete moron. I don’t know how he did that. He must be some electronic-savant like Vex.
Well, I’m going to go annoy my son until he eats this food.
See ya!
Meg
...I picked up on an interesting conversation. They were discussing a few things that you would be better off picking up AFTER you dropped your date off:
KY jelly and depends, Squeeze cheese and a personal massager, spray candy, tobacco sauce, and Zippo fluid, hemorrhoid cream, Rope, matches, anything remotely phallic, and girlie magazines, Duct tape , Lime , and bleach, Popsicle sticks and adhesive tape, don't pick up anything antifungal, gas related or old people related.
Some people were a little bit more practical in what they wouldn’t pick up:
The cashier. Worse yet, the cashier's wife.
And then, some people are just busy looking at what others are buying:
I was in a 7-11 one night picking up a Diet Coke and a brownie, when the guy in front of me picked up hot dog buns and KY Jelly while his girlfriend was in the car.
Some people are just so happy to be on a date, they don’t mind if they date does buy an extension cord, saran wrap and a Twinkie:
Let her/him get whatever she/he wants. Hey...HELLO, you got a date!
Yikes...I guess that person hasn’t considered the options...or else they have and they just think that being alone is worse than any of them.
Another thing you might want to consider, slang terms for the "can"...be careful which ones you use and around whom you use them. My first husband pulled up to a gas station and declared, “I have to hit the head.” He then trotted smartly into the men's room.
My mind went over many options as I sat in the car waiting for him to finish hitting his head. I had no CLUE what that meant. He eventually told me...he had just gotten out of the Marines and that’s what they called the La Trine. Well, explain that to a lady, why doncha?
I heard my son’s alarm go off so I made him breakfast and I brewed a fresh pot of coffee. I didn’t want coffee...and I didn’t want eggs for breakfast. I made them for him. After his alarm went off, I gave him about a half an hour to come out and when he didn’t, I went in to ask him when he wanted to get up. He said, “Noon.”
I asked him what time he had to leave for work and he said that he didn’t.
“Then why did you set your alarm clock?”
“In case I wanted to get up early. I don’t.”
Well, neither did I, but now I’m up...all because I wanted to be a nice mommy and make breakfast for the ingrate. His alarm clock woke ME up...but not him.
"But I made you BREAKFAST!", (She said with a whiny nasal tone.)...what am I gonna do with all this FOO-OOD? (She said in the same whiny nasal tone, making two syllables out of the word "food", instead of one.)
“Put it in the microwave...I’ll eat it later.”
That’s what I get for being spontaneously sweet. See if I do THAT again this year. Eggs are no good reheated. Neither are those big-ass Grands Biscuits. Thank God I didn’t peel, wash, and fry potatoes. I would have dragged his white butt out of that bed.
Or waffles. Oh...I miss waffles. I sold my waffle iron in the Betrayed Wife Sale last year, actually, I think it was a year ago to the day. I had my surgery of the 25th and it was the following Friday. I don’t know, it was this time last year. I sold a bunch of stuff that I shouldn’t have. I panicked and didn’t know what to do to pay the bills so I sold everything I could. Like I said, I don’t know how, but one way or another I’ve managed to pay the bills although it is getting pretty freaky right now.
Oh, now MY alarm clock is going off...BRB.
That is the dumbest alarm clock on the planet. When I HAD the directions, it took me an hour to set it. I have dared many a person to try to set that ridiculous alarm clock...they all go at it with full confidence and conviction..."Of COURSE I can set an alarm clock!"
They all eventually give up, red faced and flustered.
Of all the people who I ever asked to set that alarm clock, only one person did it, he did it right and he did it fast. He was a complete moron. I don’t know how he did that. He must be some electronic-savant like Vex.
Well, I’m going to go annoy my son until he eats this food.
See ya!
Meg
posted by Meg Kelso | 4:07 AM
3 Comments:
I am sorry that you were hurt by a man. A couple of women have hurt me too. I empathize !
Why didn't you ask him if he wanted breakfast first? You can't complain of all the work you went through without knowing if he was even hungry.
I can complain all I want to...what I DON'T get is why YOU would continuously subject yourself to a blog that you find so stupid...Are you that bored?
Dee, I see you too! Your IP is on the blogpatrol, nice try...you shouldn't have mentioned my mother...you annoyed quite a few people, even the Colletti's.
And...how nice of you to call today...you knew my son was home...la di da...la di da.
Post a Comment
<< Home