You know...
...I just literally WILLED my computer to boot my ass off. I had been writing for quite a while and I thought, “You should save this or this thing will shut down on you.” And that very moment...off went my computer.
So, now I’m back to square one and I’m not really in the mood anymore. I’m so over it. But...there was one thought that I wanted to mention in response to the guy who said something about wanting to “get into the minds of women”. Here’s one that shouldn’t be necessary, but sadly, it is...Never, under ANY circumstances, answer the following question:
“If you could change just one part of my body...what would it be?”
You may think that's funny now...but when your back's up against the wall some woman, somewhere, will get you to answer that question if you don’t remember what I just said. And once you say it, you can NEVER...EVER...EVER take it back.
We put you in untenable situations and we do it on purpose. Don’t ask me why, we don’t even know ourselves. We just suddenly realize that we’ve done it and there’s no turning back. We have some misplaced pride just like you do. So, knowing that, and remembering to avoid answering that question, you should be OK. If you asked us in the right way, we might even admit to that type of behavior and stop it, or at least try our best to modify it. With your encouragement, who knows? We migth even learn how to make you happier along the way.
But don’t get mad at us...we LOOOOOVE you.
When my son was about 15 and 16 and testosterone getting the better of him, he found himself in few fights every now and then. And, on the way home from yet another emergency room visit...a “boxer’s fracture” of the right fist, I believe, I told him that, in each of these situations, somewhere along the line, he had a decision to make that wouldn’t have landed him in the emergency room. At some point in every one of these fights, he could have walked away or chosen to use his brain over his fists.
I say that not because of the violence, but just because of the reality of the concept. We have decisions to make all the time...it’s those little decisions that will eventually define us. It’s very easy to stop and consider things and try to adjust your behavior...if you pay attention.
Most bickering follows a pattern, emotional swings are common and if you stop and think about it, they happen in the same order during every argument that you have. You may have developed more than one pattern, but at least one predictable pattern is there. You know what’s coming. You know that you're gonna holler, she’s gonna cry, you’re gonna cave and she’s gonna cry some more. It doesn’t make anyone bad, arguments happen to every couple.
What’s important is that you try skipping a few of the steps and go straight to the “I’m sorry’s.” It’s a wise person who can do this and do it in a way that everybody gets to keep their dignity about them.
Now, I’m not aware of any statistics on the matter, but I think that if you did a survey, most people would be capable of handling this concept and putting it into practice. But every so often, some nit wit who just plain wants to argue comes along. You just have to walk away. Over and over again...until that behavior changes.
Now, any one of us could have a hissy fit at any given time, but for the most part, we can be pretty reasonable if someone takes the time to, at the very least, agree to put the discussion off for twenty minutes. Reasonable adults will come back ready to compromise. And there is a lot of maturity, wisdom and class in this and the “agree to disagree” philosophy.
And, yeah, we can be bitchy at times...but trust me, hormones are as commanding of an influence on us every bit as much as they are on you.
The thing I can’t figure out is why? What is the good of being PMSy? I see why men have to be all hostile and physical as opposed to nurturing and emotional. (I realize that we all have certain levels of each of these attributes, but it’s that numbers thing again.) I just don’t know what purpose that the bitchiness could possibly serve us as a practical matter, but there it is. Like you, we can all control our hormones to varying degrees. (OH! Another thing that you should never do: Never allude to the fact that the objcect of out ire is anything less than valid and don't dare mention "that time of month"! "Oh, honey, I understand, you don't really mean it, you're just PMSing." At that moment, we are as dedicated to our "cause" as any rebel soldier and are likely to find a bazooka with which to prove out point.)
By the way, I was watching Letterman for the first time in years and Man! Is that dude old! When the hell did that happen? I remember when they tried Letterman in the morning briefly. He wasn’t quite cut out for the housewife set. He, like Carson was, is better suited for viewing once the children have gone to bed. As Rob Petrie described, “Bad taste? No...after midnight it’s considered sophisticated.” Anyway, I was just surprised at how old the dude looked.
Oh well, I’m exhausted and I’m gonna lie on the couch and listen to music...the 70’s station.
Nights in White Satin.
See ya,
Meg
...I just literally WILLED my computer to boot my ass off. I had been writing for quite a while and I thought, “You should save this or this thing will shut down on you.” And that very moment...off went my computer.
So, now I’m back to square one and I’m not really in the mood anymore. I’m so over it. But...there was one thought that I wanted to mention in response to the guy who said something about wanting to “get into the minds of women”. Here’s one that shouldn’t be necessary, but sadly, it is...Never, under ANY circumstances, answer the following question:
“If you could change just one part of my body...what would it be?”
You may think that's funny now...but when your back's up against the wall some woman, somewhere, will get you to answer that question if you don’t remember what I just said. And once you say it, you can NEVER...EVER...EVER take it back.
We put you in untenable situations and we do it on purpose. Don’t ask me why, we don’t even know ourselves. We just suddenly realize that we’ve done it and there’s no turning back. We have some misplaced pride just like you do. So, knowing that, and remembering to avoid answering that question, you should be OK. If you asked us in the right way, we might even admit to that type of behavior and stop it, or at least try our best to modify it. With your encouragement, who knows? We migth even learn how to make you happier along the way.
But don’t get mad at us...we LOOOOOVE you.
When my son was about 15 and 16 and testosterone getting the better of him, he found himself in few fights every now and then. And, on the way home from yet another emergency room visit...a “boxer’s fracture” of the right fist, I believe, I told him that, in each of these situations, somewhere along the line, he had a decision to make that wouldn’t have landed him in the emergency room. At some point in every one of these fights, he could have walked away or chosen to use his brain over his fists.
I say that not because of the violence, but just because of the reality of the concept. We have decisions to make all the time...it’s those little decisions that will eventually define us. It’s very easy to stop and consider things and try to adjust your behavior...if you pay attention.
Most bickering follows a pattern, emotional swings are common and if you stop and think about it, they happen in the same order during every argument that you have. You may have developed more than one pattern, but at least one predictable pattern is there. You know what’s coming. You know that you're gonna holler, she’s gonna cry, you’re gonna cave and she’s gonna cry some more. It doesn’t make anyone bad, arguments happen to every couple.
What’s important is that you try skipping a few of the steps and go straight to the “I’m sorry’s.” It’s a wise person who can do this and do it in a way that everybody gets to keep their dignity about them.
Now, I’m not aware of any statistics on the matter, but I think that if you did a survey, most people would be capable of handling this concept and putting it into practice. But every so often, some nit wit who just plain wants to argue comes along. You just have to walk away. Over and over again...until that behavior changes.
Now, any one of us could have a hissy fit at any given time, but for the most part, we can be pretty reasonable if someone takes the time to, at the very least, agree to put the discussion off for twenty minutes. Reasonable adults will come back ready to compromise. And there is a lot of maturity, wisdom and class in this and the “agree to disagree” philosophy.
And, yeah, we can be bitchy at times...but trust me, hormones are as commanding of an influence on us every bit as much as they are on you.
The thing I can’t figure out is why? What is the good of being PMSy? I see why men have to be all hostile and physical as opposed to nurturing and emotional. (I realize that we all have certain levels of each of these attributes, but it’s that numbers thing again.) I just don’t know what purpose that the bitchiness could possibly serve us as a practical matter, but there it is. Like you, we can all control our hormones to varying degrees. (OH! Another thing that you should never do: Never allude to the fact that the objcect of out ire is anything less than valid and don't dare mention "that time of month"! "Oh, honey, I understand, you don't really mean it, you're just PMSing." At that moment, we are as dedicated to our "cause" as any rebel soldier and are likely to find a bazooka with which to prove out point.)
By the way, I was watching Letterman for the first time in years and Man! Is that dude old! When the hell did that happen? I remember when they tried Letterman in the morning briefly. He wasn’t quite cut out for the housewife set. He, like Carson was, is better suited for viewing once the children have gone to bed. As Rob Petrie described, “Bad taste? No...after midnight it’s considered sophisticated.” Anyway, I was just surprised at how old the dude looked.
Oh well, I’m exhausted and I’m gonna lie on the couch and listen to music...the 70’s station.
Nights in White Satin.
See ya,
Meg
posted by Meg Kelso | 11:10 PM
1 Comments:
Now I found a way to bypass the 'if there was one thing you could change about me...' line when my (soon to be ex)wife tried to lay that one one me.
Take the one attribute that she complains about the most (obviously it has to be a safe attribute, if she's complaining about her behind or thighs you might as well crucify yourself now). Find that one (safe) attribute, perhaps it's a mole she doesn't like on her back, and say you'd change that - not because it bothers you, but because you know how much it bothers her.
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