Let me tell you something...
...if you are into online dating at all, you should have at least two totally different profiles. I do and I have found it to be about as eye opening of an experience as I have ever had. I almost addressed this strictly to women but then it occurred to me that to do so would be rather rude because I am not in a position to say that women don’t lie as much as men do, it’s just that my experience is with the men and for better or worse, THAT cannot change. For me, it has truly been a crash course in the male psyche.
I signed up with a free online dating site and once, on a lark, I created a second profile using a picture of my backside that I happened to have. I don’t know why I did it but I did. I have never done anything like that before, ever. The closest I ever came to having a picture of myself like that was once over 15 years ago when Vex and I took some pictures of each other in the buff. I was playing around with my web cam one day and took a couple of ass shots...clothed, and you would think that I was Linda Lovelace by the way some men have responded. It is the single wildest thing that I have done in years and it provokes such a startlingly similar response from certain men that I cannot help but wonder what it must be like to be the type of women that does that type of thing on a regular basis. I imagine it must be pretty damn successful, judging by simply putting an anonymous ass shot on the internet.
I can understand the little boys acting like they do, every hot blooded 25 year old with a keyboard has emailed me. I could even understand the reaction of some odd older men. There was some of this that I could have predicted. But never, ever would I have predicted that the same men would write to both of the profiles and behave in such a dissimilar manner when they do.
Some of the sweetest, most sincere appearing men have written to my real profile, the one that has my face and a few true words attached to it. There are even a couple who I have met once or twice and still hear from occasionally who have all of a sudden found Kelli (the ass profile) and have responded to her in a manner that shows them to be as fake as Kelli is.
There is no Kelli, there is only a picture of my ass and a pack of lies. I honestly don’t know why I did that but I am rather glad that I did. As I said before, it’s been a crash course in the male psyche for me and I could imagine going through a few entire relationships before learning as much as I did just doing this. If there was any lesson that I didn’t learn from being married to an habitual liar, this experience has taught it to me.
And it’s more than just their approach that changes in response to the different profiles, the men themselves change. I sat in the Marietta Diner and listened to a seemingly sincere, rather shy man tell me about his daughters and his recent divorce. He presented himself to be a very sweet homebody type who suddenly found himself divorced from a bitch from hell type woman who took him to the cleaners after he had dedicated his life to making her happy. He spoke about his kids so caringly, I thought that his wife must be some kind of nut for letting him go. I should have known better than to listen to any man who says anything at all bad about his ex but I fell for his BS because of how reticent and gentle he appeared. It didn’t seem possible for this man to be terribly deceptive.
Only the fact that I am still married has kept me from getting too involved, I have admittedly only met this guy twice and I admittedly again, haven’t gotten to know any of them more than that at all. But, my God, you wouldn’t expect such drastic swings in behavior from any one human being.
When I let this guy in on the joke, I actually thought that he would remember the LADY that he had already gotten to know to some degree and find her more intriguing. Instead, he basically told me to come to his house as soon as humanly possible and to bring the “equipment” with me. Even though I told him that the entire thing was a gag and that I took the picture as a stunt, he chose to believe that Kelli was real. Meg ceased to exist altogether. Even the consideration that Meg was a real person with feelings had gone out the window quicker than I could snap my fingers. Rather than another date or even the cover of something clever like, "Come let me cook dinner for you!", this guy treats me as though I am Pussies-R-Us AND that I deliver.
The pack of lies was rather innocuous so I know it was the picture that provokes the response. Nobody refers at all to what I wrote on the profile, they are simply looking at the picture without reading any further.
I suppose there are some people out there who are thinking, “Duh! Of course people would act like that!” and looking back, I feel like an idiot but I honestly didn’t expect it. It’s amazing that one can learn so much about people from such an impersonal thing as the internet. So, now do you see how Vex was able to lie to me so successfully? I am truly a jack ass. But...I am just a little smarter of a jack ass now.
See ya,
Meg
By the way, I have just learned that I am not the only one who was so naive:
Cherry: I covered most of them! There weren't nipples involved. Call me incredibly naive, but really did just think it was funny. I didn't expect a reaction. This is where you call me naive.
Ah...now I feel much better.
...if you are into online dating at all, you should have at least two totally different profiles. I do and I have found it to be about as eye opening of an experience as I have ever had. I almost addressed this strictly to women but then it occurred to me that to do so would be rather rude because I am not in a position to say that women don’t lie as much as men do, it’s just that my experience is with the men and for better or worse, THAT cannot change. For me, it has truly been a crash course in the male psyche.
I signed up with a free online dating site and once, on a lark, I created a second profile using a picture of my backside that I happened to have. I don’t know why I did it but I did. I have never done anything like that before, ever. The closest I ever came to having a picture of myself like that was once over 15 years ago when Vex and I took some pictures of each other in the buff. I was playing around with my web cam one day and took a couple of ass shots...clothed, and you would think that I was Linda Lovelace by the way some men have responded. It is the single wildest thing that I have done in years and it provokes such a startlingly similar response from certain men that I cannot help but wonder what it must be like to be the type of women that does that type of thing on a regular basis. I imagine it must be pretty damn successful, judging by simply putting an anonymous ass shot on the internet.
I can understand the little boys acting like they do, every hot blooded 25 year old with a keyboard has emailed me. I could even understand the reaction of some odd older men. There was some of this that I could have predicted. But never, ever would I have predicted that the same men would write to both of the profiles and behave in such a dissimilar manner when they do.
Some of the sweetest, most sincere appearing men have written to my real profile, the one that has my face and a few true words attached to it. There are even a couple who I have met once or twice and still hear from occasionally who have all of a sudden found Kelli (the ass profile) and have responded to her in a manner that shows them to be as fake as Kelli is.
There is no Kelli, there is only a picture of my ass and a pack of lies. I honestly don’t know why I did that but I am rather glad that I did. As I said before, it’s been a crash course in the male psyche for me and I could imagine going through a few entire relationships before learning as much as I did just doing this. If there was any lesson that I didn’t learn from being married to an habitual liar, this experience has taught it to me.
And it’s more than just their approach that changes in response to the different profiles, the men themselves change. I sat in the Marietta Diner and listened to a seemingly sincere, rather shy man tell me about his daughters and his recent divorce. He presented himself to be a very sweet homebody type who suddenly found himself divorced from a bitch from hell type woman who took him to the cleaners after he had dedicated his life to making her happy. He spoke about his kids so caringly, I thought that his wife must be some kind of nut for letting him go. I should have known better than to listen to any man who says anything at all bad about his ex but I fell for his BS because of how reticent and gentle he appeared. It didn’t seem possible for this man to be terribly deceptive.
Only the fact that I am still married has kept me from getting too involved, I have admittedly only met this guy twice and I admittedly again, haven’t gotten to know any of them more than that at all. But, my God, you wouldn’t expect such drastic swings in behavior from any one human being.
When I let this guy in on the joke, I actually thought that he would remember the LADY that he had already gotten to know to some degree and find her more intriguing. Instead, he basically told me to come to his house as soon as humanly possible and to bring the “equipment” with me. Even though I told him that the entire thing was a gag and that I took the picture as a stunt, he chose to believe that Kelli was real. Meg ceased to exist altogether. Even the consideration that Meg was a real person with feelings had gone out the window quicker than I could snap my fingers. Rather than another date or even the cover of something clever like, "Come let me cook dinner for you!", this guy treats me as though I am Pussies-R-Us AND that I deliver.
The pack of lies was rather innocuous so I know it was the picture that provokes the response. Nobody refers at all to what I wrote on the profile, they are simply looking at the picture without reading any further.
I suppose there are some people out there who are thinking, “Duh! Of course people would act like that!” and looking back, I feel like an idiot but I honestly didn’t expect it. It’s amazing that one can learn so much about people from such an impersonal thing as the internet. So, now do you see how Vex was able to lie to me so successfully? I am truly a jack ass. But...I am just a little smarter of a jack ass now.
See ya,
Meg
By the way, I have just learned that I am not the only one who was so naive:
Cherry: I covered most of them! There weren't nipples involved. Call me incredibly naive, but really did just think it was funny. I didn't expect a reaction. This is where you call me naive.
Ah...now I feel much better.
posted by Meg Kelso | 7:59 PM
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