My dad and I went out to dinner last night...
...and I told him about my two profiles on that dating site and the way that men respond differently to each woman. I mentioned the idiot who was married and how he told Kelli the truth and lied Meg about being married. My dad said, “I wish you could find a way to tell young women about that.” He said that “Men will treat you exactly how you expect to be treated.” He is, of course, quite right.
I told him that I thought that older women needed to hear it too.
Personally, I was quite surprised and as I mentioned earlier, I learned quite a bit about men myself. I’ve been around for quite sometime and I was still shocked by the way that some of the men reacted. There was only one man who said, “I’m glad to hear that your profile was a joke.” I was quite pleased by that because it showed me that at least some men could “think outside of the box” and understand that it was a joke.
Amazingly, however, most of them couldn’t do that.
For the most part, they seem to see what they want to see and I find that fascinating. If they want to see Kelli as a tramp, they do. None of them seem to even read her profile, they never get past the picture of her backside. Only a very small percentage of them respond to what was written, they simply see the picture and respond to that. Kelli gets between 20 and 100 emails a day from men, almost none of them pay the slightest bit of attention to what she wrote. And, when they do, they don’t seem to think that it applies to them. Kelli said that she wants to travel and most of the men seem to think that Kelli means that she will come to them, wherever they are, and sleep with them. Men from all over the world write and tell Kelli that they are waiting for her. Many of the responses are from local guys, wanting, once again, Kelli to come to their houses. As I said earlier, even a man who knew Meg wanted Kelli to come to his place and bring her “equipment” with her. Meg no longer exists and he expects Kelli to suddenly appear although Meg told him that Kelli is not a real person.
He doesn't want to believe that. Almost all of the men view Kelli as something that they have created in their own minds, I find it fascinating that even after Kelli says the profile is a joke, they continue on as though she never said a word. I asked my father what the lesson was for women and he said, “Men will respond to the message that a woman sends, whether she knows she is sending it or not.” In practical terms, that means that we as women can dress or behave in a way that we might find cute...but the men don’t see it the same way. They will get an idea in their minds and run with it. They will never look further into our souls, no matter what we do, if they have decided that we are “tramps”. The message that we send with what we wear or how we behave is far louder than anything we do, no matter what we do, after they have seen us in that way.
We as women may find certain clothing to be cute or attractive but if men find it to be sexual, they won’t even look any further. As I said, only one man ever acted pleased that Kelli was a joke. I found that to be very appealing, he could actually look past the picture. But, that was one man out of hundreds who responded. So, to summarize, I think that the lesson for women, young or old, is that we need to be very careful about the messages we send.
We complain about being seen as sex objects, yet we consistently send messages that are extremely sexual. It isn’t a coincidence that women choose clothing that enhances their sexuality. If a women is wearing slacks that show her backside in the most appealing light possible, she knows it. Women will try on a pair of slacks and look to see how that backside looks in the mirror. Then, when she is wearing those slacks and a man whistles as she walks away, she gets offended. That is so unfair.
We expect the men to “restrain” themselves after we have gone out of our way to emphasize our assets. Talk about your double standards. The men who respond to Kelli are from so many varied backgrounds that there isn’t any way to blame them or their upbringing. Men are simply accustomed to responding to “big round things” and when they do, we can’t expect them to act as though it isn’t part of their make up. It’s something that they can’t help, any more than we can help it when we respond to their ability to “support” us.
Now that I think of it, I think that I can prove that we, as women, have our own prejudices and foibles. I am going to create two men's profiles. They will be almost identical except for one thing, one of them is going to be a doctor and have a lot of cash while the other one will be the same type of man, except that he will have a blue collar job. Then, I will sit back and wait for the responses from the women. I think that I can prove my point, and I think that I can do it quickly. Ooh, this is going to be fun.
OK, I am off to create two fake men and I doubt that it will take very long at all for the women to pounce upon the “backsides” of the men, their checkbooks!
See ya soon,
Meg
PS I cannot get this site to allow comments so I will put a link on the posts so that you can easily comment should you want to. I will post the comments as I receive them. Here is the link,
meg.kelso@gmail.com
...and I told him about my two profiles on that dating site and the way that men respond differently to each woman. I mentioned the idiot who was married and how he told Kelli the truth and lied Meg about being married. My dad said, “I wish you could find a way to tell young women about that.” He said that “Men will treat you exactly how you expect to be treated.” He is, of course, quite right.
I told him that I thought that older women needed to hear it too.
Personally, I was quite surprised and as I mentioned earlier, I learned quite a bit about men myself. I’ve been around for quite sometime and I was still shocked by the way that some of the men reacted. There was only one man who said, “I’m glad to hear that your profile was a joke.” I was quite pleased by that because it showed me that at least some men could “think outside of the box” and understand that it was a joke.
Amazingly, however, most of them couldn’t do that.
For the most part, they seem to see what they want to see and I find that fascinating. If they want to see Kelli as a tramp, they do. None of them seem to even read her profile, they never get past the picture of her backside. Only a very small percentage of them respond to what was written, they simply see the picture and respond to that. Kelli gets between 20 and 100 emails a day from men, almost none of them pay the slightest bit of attention to what she wrote. And, when they do, they don’t seem to think that it applies to them. Kelli said that she wants to travel and most of the men seem to think that Kelli means that she will come to them, wherever they are, and sleep with them. Men from all over the world write and tell Kelli that they are waiting for her. Many of the responses are from local guys, wanting, once again, Kelli to come to their houses. As I said earlier, even a man who knew Meg wanted Kelli to come to his place and bring her “equipment” with her. Meg no longer exists and he expects Kelli to suddenly appear although Meg told him that Kelli is not a real person.
He doesn't want to believe that. Almost all of the men view Kelli as something that they have created in their own minds, I find it fascinating that even after Kelli says the profile is a joke, they continue on as though she never said a word. I asked my father what the lesson was for women and he said, “Men will respond to the message that a woman sends, whether she knows she is sending it or not.” In practical terms, that means that we as women can dress or behave in a way that we might find cute...but the men don’t see it the same way. They will get an idea in their minds and run with it. They will never look further into our souls, no matter what we do, if they have decided that we are “tramps”. The message that we send with what we wear or how we behave is far louder than anything we do, no matter what we do, after they have seen us in that way.
We as women may find certain clothing to be cute or attractive but if men find it to be sexual, they won’t even look any further. As I said, only one man ever acted pleased that Kelli was a joke. I found that to be very appealing, he could actually look past the picture. But, that was one man out of hundreds who responded. So, to summarize, I think that the lesson for women, young or old, is that we need to be very careful about the messages we send.
We complain about being seen as sex objects, yet we consistently send messages that are extremely sexual. It isn’t a coincidence that women choose clothing that enhances their sexuality. If a women is wearing slacks that show her backside in the most appealing light possible, she knows it. Women will try on a pair of slacks and look to see how that backside looks in the mirror. Then, when she is wearing those slacks and a man whistles as she walks away, she gets offended. That is so unfair.
We expect the men to “restrain” themselves after we have gone out of our way to emphasize our assets. Talk about your double standards. The men who respond to Kelli are from so many varied backgrounds that there isn’t any way to blame them or their upbringing. Men are simply accustomed to responding to “big round things” and when they do, we can’t expect them to act as though it isn’t part of their make up. It’s something that they can’t help, any more than we can help it when we respond to their ability to “support” us.
Now that I think of it, I think that I can prove that we, as women, have our own prejudices and foibles. I am going to create two men's profiles. They will be almost identical except for one thing, one of them is going to be a doctor and have a lot of cash while the other one will be the same type of man, except that he will have a blue collar job. Then, I will sit back and wait for the responses from the women. I think that I can prove my point, and I think that I can do it quickly. Ooh, this is going to be fun.
OK, I am off to create two fake men and I doubt that it will take very long at all for the women to pounce upon the “backsides” of the men, their checkbooks!
See ya soon,
Meg
PS I cannot get this site to allow comments so I will put a link on the posts so that you can easily comment should you want to. I will post the comments as I receive them. Here is the link,
meg.kelso@gmail.com
posted by Meg Kelso | 1:46 PM
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