Uh oh...
...I was so tired last night that I posted the post for this blog on the wrong blog last night. I’m wide awake now, but I fear I am no brighter. I looked for my father’s car keys all morning before I remembered that he drove his own car last. They have been in his pocket all the while I was hunting for them. I understand why he is like that, the man is over 70 years old. I have no such excuse. I think that if I ever do get to be his age, I’m going to use it as an excuse to do all kinds of nutty things. I look forward to that, I truly do.
I love old people, I always have. When I was a little girl, I was lucky enough to know some of my great-grandparents. My great-grandfather used to sit around and play checkers with anyone who would play with him. I used to love to do that. One day he didn’t have his glasses on and he mentioned that he was blind without his glasses. I was so young that I took that to mean that he couldn’t see anything in front of his eyes, even if he did have the glasses on. So, one day when he was sitting next to me, I put my finger in front of his eyeball, behind the lens of his specs, and wiggled it. When I was older, I realized that he must have just sat there, very still, pretending not to notice the finger in his eye. I loved his hands, they had this paper thin skin on them and I could see the bones and blood vessels. It made me think that he was so very delicate, I grew up thinking that he would break very easily. My great grandmother was as patient as he was, she would let me play with the fat that hung off of her arms. She would hold her arm just so and I would whack the fat back and forth, giggling as it waved at me. Old people are so very patient with young people, they have a patience that younger people could never have.
It would be nice if we could learn from them, but so many of us just have to learn from our own mistakes. We all talk about how wise the older folks are, but we don’t seem to learn much from them. What a shame that there are so many of them sitting in the halls of nursing homes, waiting to die alone. I love working with them, I have since I was a teenager. I guess it has something to do with the fact that I grew up in a family where the older people were actually respected. I don’t remember any of them being put in a nursing home, their children always kept them at home with them. The children were kind of old themselves so it couldn’t have been very easy for them.
Although most nursing homes are much better now than they were when I was a teenager, far too many of them hire people who have little to no experience caring for the elderly. It only takes a few weeks to get a certification as a nursing assistant. That is barely long enough to teach the practical skills necessary, much less the patience required to handle the needs of these people. They do everything very slowly and the staff has so many people to care for that they get annoyed at the old folks when they see that they are falling behind.
When a nurses aide begins in the morning, they have to get all of their people up and to breakfast, all before the meal is served. Usually, they have about 10 people to get up in the morning, sometimes more. Imagine trying to get 10 people up, cleaned and dressed in an hour and a half. It’s next to impossible and that’s probably why very few people are tended to properly. I find many of the residents with nasty teeth and mismatched clothing. They are lucky if someone puts a comb through their hair much less have them get washed and dressed in appropriate clothing. If they can’t feed themselves, they are really in trouble. They never eat very quickly and that’s just a recipe for disaster. If anyone does take the time to feed these people right, they end up behind for their next meal so very few of them get fed as much as they should.
Sadly, even if a person can take themselves to the bathroom, once they go into a nursing home, they will be put into diapers. Many of them are injured trying to get to the bathroom themselves. They may put the call light on and wait for someone to answer, but if no one does, they will get up and try to go alone. That’s usually in the middle of the night and if you ask anyone who has ever worked in nursing homes, most broken hips occur on the night shift.
If you have never been to a nursing home, you should stop by one and walk through the halls. Look at the people, in their wheelchairs, lined up in the halls just staring. I remember one lady who would just sit there and stare. I gave her a cup of juice with her medicine and said, “Let me know when you’ve had enough.” She responded, “What do you mean by enough?” I was startled as I didn’t know that she could be even the least bit lucid. I looked at her and said, “As much as you want. “ She smiled and said that she had all she wanted so I took the cup and tossed it. I felt so bad, all that time I spent thinking that she couldn’t speak and all I ever had to do was speak TO her and she would have spoken back to me. So many of them are like that, they don’t say anything because no one listens anyway.
These people are treasures of history and wisdom and yet we pretty much just toss them aside and that’s so very sad. They have so much to offer to us all and we don’t take advantage us them at all. Can you imagine how wonderful it would be to have an older person around for your children to love? The kids love them more than anything, I certainly loved my great-grandparents. But, the kids have no say in decisions like nursing home placement.
Some of the things that I have seen are so cruel that I feel the need to tell you about it here before I can’t tell anyone anymore. Maybe someone out there will read this and remember it at a time when they can use this information to make things better for even one older person. Those people are just like us, only older. The neglect alone is bad enough, but I have seen outright abuse. There was one sweet little old lady who had a neurological deficit that gave her something called echolalia. That is when they say a syllable and then repeat it over and over again, like this, “Hi hi hi hi hi hi.” She couldn’t help that and I am sure she had something in her mind that she was trying to say, but that’s all that came out. She was as pleasant as she could be, she just couldn’t verbalize anything properly. One day the people who were trying to get her out of bed were being very impatient with her. She tried to say something to them but when she was stressed, it just got worse. So, when they spoke to her, all she could say was, “No, no no no no no....” The person who was trying to get her up became so frustrated that she actually took her hand, pushed the ladies face into her pillow and spoke very harshly to her. There was no way that this woman could have asked for help, or even tell anyone about what had happened and the jerk getting her up knew that. Luckily, there was a woman from the laundry who happened to come by and watched this happening. When I was made aware of what had happened, I fired the one who did it and the one with her who refused to tell me exactly what happened. If you witness abuse and don’t report it, you are as guilty as the one who actually did the abusing. After I canned the two jerks, a nurse and an entire group of aides actually harassed the woman who reported the abuse until she just quit. I worked at a place once where I was sure that a lady had been abused, but the director of nursing was so afraid of the staff that she wouldn’t do anything about this situation. A lady had been clipped with nail clippers, twice on the same finger. It was tough to get the bleeding stopped. I can almost see it happening once by accident, but not twice. It was obvious abuse and they did nothing. As a matter of fact, when I made the comment, “I wish I had done more about that.” the DON said, “I did what I had to do!” . She was so angry that I was amazed. I couldn’t imagine why she was so mad, but looking back, I’m sure she was angry at herself and she took it out on me. I have often wondered what ever happened to that poor lady, she was a royal pain in the ass but if you don’t have the patience to care for these people, no matter how annoying they might be, you have no business working with them at all.
If you ever have to put someone into a home, remember a few things. First of all, in this business, it’s the squeaky wheel that gets the oil, no matter what wheel really needs it. So, if you have a loved one in a home, complain about everything. They actually say things like, “Take care of that person well or their kids will make a huge scene.” Also, pop in at all hours. If they know that you are coming on a certain day, they will have your loved one dressed well on that day. If they never know when you’ll be there, they are more likely to keep them in better shape. Show up at meal times and actually weigh your family member yourself. There are people who will say that they have done it, it’s the same with vital signs. I have actually seen people make these things up instead of actually doing them. If you weigh your loved one yourself, you can catch any weight loss early. If someone gets too sick, it may be too late to really fix things. When someone has poor nutrition, especially an older person, they tend to get ill more quickly and they can even get bed sores. It’s difficult to heal bed sores if the person isn’t eating properly. Hydration is another big thing. Make sure that they not only have water handy, but that they are getting it put into them. As I’m sure you know, older people are more likely to suffer the ill effects of dehydration. They can put water in a pitcher next to their beds all day long, but if they don’t drink it, it doesn’t do a bit of good. Request that your loved one not be out into diapers if they can actually go to the bathroom. If you don’t push and complain, they will end up needing the diapers within a few weeks of admission to a home.
Most people who work in these places are decent people. It’s just that they have so many patients to care for that even the best intentions do no good. We all worry about how many students any given teacher has but no one seems to care how many patients a nurse or nurses aide has.
That’s too bad. I hope to see a time when people will actually care about the elderly as much as they do the children. After all, the children will grow up and someday it might be your kid sitting in that hallway, all alone in a wheelchair with no one to speak to.
Meg.kelso@gmail.com
...I was so tired last night that I posted the post for this blog on the wrong blog last night. I’m wide awake now, but I fear I am no brighter. I looked for my father’s car keys all morning before I remembered that he drove his own car last. They have been in his pocket all the while I was hunting for them. I understand why he is like that, the man is over 70 years old. I have no such excuse. I think that if I ever do get to be his age, I’m going to use it as an excuse to do all kinds of nutty things. I look forward to that, I truly do.
I love old people, I always have. When I was a little girl, I was lucky enough to know some of my great-grandparents. My great-grandfather used to sit around and play checkers with anyone who would play with him. I used to love to do that. One day he didn’t have his glasses on and he mentioned that he was blind without his glasses. I was so young that I took that to mean that he couldn’t see anything in front of his eyes, even if he did have the glasses on. So, one day when he was sitting next to me, I put my finger in front of his eyeball, behind the lens of his specs, and wiggled it. When I was older, I realized that he must have just sat there, very still, pretending not to notice the finger in his eye. I loved his hands, they had this paper thin skin on them and I could see the bones and blood vessels. It made me think that he was so very delicate, I grew up thinking that he would break very easily. My great grandmother was as patient as he was, she would let me play with the fat that hung off of her arms. She would hold her arm just so and I would whack the fat back and forth, giggling as it waved at me. Old people are so very patient with young people, they have a patience that younger people could never have.
It would be nice if we could learn from them, but so many of us just have to learn from our own mistakes. We all talk about how wise the older folks are, but we don’t seem to learn much from them. What a shame that there are so many of them sitting in the halls of nursing homes, waiting to die alone. I love working with them, I have since I was a teenager. I guess it has something to do with the fact that I grew up in a family where the older people were actually respected. I don’t remember any of them being put in a nursing home, their children always kept them at home with them. The children were kind of old themselves so it couldn’t have been very easy for them.
Although most nursing homes are much better now than they were when I was a teenager, far too many of them hire people who have little to no experience caring for the elderly. It only takes a few weeks to get a certification as a nursing assistant. That is barely long enough to teach the practical skills necessary, much less the patience required to handle the needs of these people. They do everything very slowly and the staff has so many people to care for that they get annoyed at the old folks when they see that they are falling behind.
When a nurses aide begins in the morning, they have to get all of their people up and to breakfast, all before the meal is served. Usually, they have about 10 people to get up in the morning, sometimes more. Imagine trying to get 10 people up, cleaned and dressed in an hour and a half. It’s next to impossible and that’s probably why very few people are tended to properly. I find many of the residents with nasty teeth and mismatched clothing. They are lucky if someone puts a comb through their hair much less have them get washed and dressed in appropriate clothing. If they can’t feed themselves, they are really in trouble. They never eat very quickly and that’s just a recipe for disaster. If anyone does take the time to feed these people right, they end up behind for their next meal so very few of them get fed as much as they should.
Sadly, even if a person can take themselves to the bathroom, once they go into a nursing home, they will be put into diapers. Many of them are injured trying to get to the bathroom themselves. They may put the call light on and wait for someone to answer, but if no one does, they will get up and try to go alone. That’s usually in the middle of the night and if you ask anyone who has ever worked in nursing homes, most broken hips occur on the night shift.
If you have never been to a nursing home, you should stop by one and walk through the halls. Look at the people, in their wheelchairs, lined up in the halls just staring. I remember one lady who would just sit there and stare. I gave her a cup of juice with her medicine and said, “Let me know when you’ve had enough.” She responded, “What do you mean by enough?” I was startled as I didn’t know that she could be even the least bit lucid. I looked at her and said, “As much as you want. “ She smiled and said that she had all she wanted so I took the cup and tossed it. I felt so bad, all that time I spent thinking that she couldn’t speak and all I ever had to do was speak TO her and she would have spoken back to me. So many of them are like that, they don’t say anything because no one listens anyway.
These people are treasures of history and wisdom and yet we pretty much just toss them aside and that’s so very sad. They have so much to offer to us all and we don’t take advantage us them at all. Can you imagine how wonderful it would be to have an older person around for your children to love? The kids love them more than anything, I certainly loved my great-grandparents. But, the kids have no say in decisions like nursing home placement.
Some of the things that I have seen are so cruel that I feel the need to tell you about it here before I can’t tell anyone anymore. Maybe someone out there will read this and remember it at a time when they can use this information to make things better for even one older person. Those people are just like us, only older. The neglect alone is bad enough, but I have seen outright abuse. There was one sweet little old lady who had a neurological deficit that gave her something called echolalia. That is when they say a syllable and then repeat it over and over again, like this, “Hi hi hi hi hi hi.” She couldn’t help that and I am sure she had something in her mind that she was trying to say, but that’s all that came out. She was as pleasant as she could be, she just couldn’t verbalize anything properly. One day the people who were trying to get her out of bed were being very impatient with her. She tried to say something to them but when she was stressed, it just got worse. So, when they spoke to her, all she could say was, “No, no no no no no....” The person who was trying to get her up became so frustrated that she actually took her hand, pushed the ladies face into her pillow and spoke very harshly to her. There was no way that this woman could have asked for help, or even tell anyone about what had happened and the jerk getting her up knew that. Luckily, there was a woman from the laundry who happened to come by and watched this happening. When I was made aware of what had happened, I fired the one who did it and the one with her who refused to tell me exactly what happened. If you witness abuse and don’t report it, you are as guilty as the one who actually did the abusing. After I canned the two jerks, a nurse and an entire group of aides actually harassed the woman who reported the abuse until she just quit. I worked at a place once where I was sure that a lady had been abused, but the director of nursing was so afraid of the staff that she wouldn’t do anything about this situation. A lady had been clipped with nail clippers, twice on the same finger. It was tough to get the bleeding stopped. I can almost see it happening once by accident, but not twice. It was obvious abuse and they did nothing. As a matter of fact, when I made the comment, “I wish I had done more about that.” the DON said, “I did what I had to do!” . She was so angry that I was amazed. I couldn’t imagine why she was so mad, but looking back, I’m sure she was angry at herself and she took it out on me. I have often wondered what ever happened to that poor lady, she was a royal pain in the ass but if you don’t have the patience to care for these people, no matter how annoying they might be, you have no business working with them at all.
If you ever have to put someone into a home, remember a few things. First of all, in this business, it’s the squeaky wheel that gets the oil, no matter what wheel really needs it. So, if you have a loved one in a home, complain about everything. They actually say things like, “Take care of that person well or their kids will make a huge scene.” Also, pop in at all hours. If they know that you are coming on a certain day, they will have your loved one dressed well on that day. If they never know when you’ll be there, they are more likely to keep them in better shape. Show up at meal times and actually weigh your family member yourself. There are people who will say that they have done it, it’s the same with vital signs. I have actually seen people make these things up instead of actually doing them. If you weigh your loved one yourself, you can catch any weight loss early. If someone gets too sick, it may be too late to really fix things. When someone has poor nutrition, especially an older person, they tend to get ill more quickly and they can even get bed sores. It’s difficult to heal bed sores if the person isn’t eating properly. Hydration is another big thing. Make sure that they not only have water handy, but that they are getting it put into them. As I’m sure you know, older people are more likely to suffer the ill effects of dehydration. They can put water in a pitcher next to their beds all day long, but if they don’t drink it, it doesn’t do a bit of good. Request that your loved one not be out into diapers if they can actually go to the bathroom. If you don’t push and complain, they will end up needing the diapers within a few weeks of admission to a home.
Most people who work in these places are decent people. It’s just that they have so many patients to care for that even the best intentions do no good. We all worry about how many students any given teacher has but no one seems to care how many patients a nurse or nurses aide has.
That’s too bad. I hope to see a time when people will actually care about the elderly as much as they do the children. After all, the children will grow up and someday it might be your kid sitting in that hallway, all alone in a wheelchair with no one to speak to.
Meg.kelso@gmail.com
posted by Meg Kelso | 12:33 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home