Meg,
I don't know what it is, or if you affect other men the same way, but for the last two days I read your blog, you are really turning me on. I don't know why.
Oh...really? Well, then...here I am! Why does everybody E-love me? I need a real man, he doesn’t even have to have an ass like the one below...not that I would hold it against anyone, I just don’t like to be BIGOTED. Nice ass, bad ass...they all sound good to me. Of course, I ain’t had NO ass in such a long time that I’m pretty easy to please.
OK, so I went out this afternoon, kind of to celebrate not having to deal with court. I shot pool and sucked at it. I hate that. I walk in with my own two piece custom made pool cue and look all bad...then I can’t sink a duck. Oh well, maybe next time. Having my own stick seemed like a good idea at the time, I could never find a 21 ouncer when I needed one so I got this one. But now it’s just too much pressure. I open that thing up and the guys go..."Ooh, your own stick...are you a hustler?” I usually just smile pretty and kick their asses but today I couldn’t do it. Oh well, there are more balls to smack later.
The guy who went with me was far too nice. With all the pervs coming on to me, I’m not quite sure what to make of the ones that don’t. I know I’m confusing, imagine being me. He did give me a nice peck on the cheek...I guess you don’t get much more than that in the middle of the day so that’s all right. I’m sure the next one will assault me and I’ll be back to normal again.
I don’t get you guys, could you be a little bit more up front? If you like a chick, tell her. If not, I guess you just kiss her on the cheek and leave her alone. I don’t know anymore. Somebody is going to have to explain it to me one of these days. I’m so not sure what to do with you testosterone induced humanoids.
Don’t even ask me what I want because I haven’t a clue anymore. I thought I wanted a man but they all just confuse the hell out of me. Well, I know I don’t want a woman...wish I could, then I could double my wardrobe...but I don’t even want to think about that...ick, ick, ick.
I do know I need my lawn mowed, how hard is that? I can start the mower now that I’ve learned about the button you push before you pull the string...why didn’t anyone mention that before I busted my shoulder and sat out there crying as I uselessly pulled that thing over and over and over. I thought I just wasn’t pulling it hard enough so I pulled it harder and harder. I was a pitiful sight there...crying at my lawn mower.
I felt so damn sorry for myself. I bet my neighbors were looking out their window asking themselves, “Why doesn’t she just push the damn button?” Well, SHE DIDN’T KNOW ABOUT THE DAMN BUTTON! I grew up in a house full of boys and I’ve always had a man around to do such shitty chores. I feel for you guys, I really do.
I must ask, I wonder what other buttons I’m not pushing? What else am I struggling with that has an easy solution? Is there some easy way to pay the rent? Oh yeah, the hooker idea. Oh well, Grandmothers have no business turning tricks and I wouldn’t even know where to apply for that job so to hell with it. It does sound like easy money and I’ve certainly GIVEN enough away over the years...damn...it just occurred to me how much money I would have if I had asked for 5 bucks each time. I wouldn’t ever have to worry about the rent again. Jeez, Rick alone would have paid the rent for a few years.
Every guy I go out with lately is divorced and they all whine about their ex’s who are getting thousands of dollars a month from them. What the hell am I doing wrong? I could have taken half of my other ex’s business but I didn’t think it was fair since I wanted the divorce. Now I feel like an idiot. He’s married to a useless bimbo who is so butt ugly that she couldn’t ever leave him, no normal man would want her. This divorce wasn’t my idea, Rick left me. I didn’t expect anything so I was happy with what I got...but I had a free attorney so I will never know what I could’ve gotten if I were really nasty about it. Yeah, I know, some of you are thinking that this blog was a tad spiteful and I’ll give you that, but honestly, which would you prefer? A blog that you never HAD to look at or writing out a check for thousands every month?
Whatever. I would be happy to have someone to cuddle with on the couch at this point. I have a couple of dudes that I could call, there is one, but he’s too short. Hell, he does seem to like me and he’s never been disrespectful...I think I’ll give Shorty a call.
See ya,
Meg
I don't know what it is, or if you affect other men the same way, but for the last two days I read your blog, you are really turning me on. I don't know why.
Oh...really? Well, then...here I am! Why does everybody E-love me? I need a real man, he doesn’t even have to have an ass like the one below...not that I would hold it against anyone, I just don’t like to be BIGOTED. Nice ass, bad ass...they all sound good to me. Of course, I ain’t had NO ass in such a long time that I’m pretty easy to please.
OK, so I went out this afternoon, kind of to celebrate not having to deal with court. I shot pool and sucked at it. I hate that. I walk in with my own two piece custom made pool cue and look all bad...then I can’t sink a duck. Oh well, maybe next time. Having my own stick seemed like a good idea at the time, I could never find a 21 ouncer when I needed one so I got this one. But now it’s just too much pressure. I open that thing up and the guys go..."Ooh, your own stick...are you a hustler?” I usually just smile pretty and kick their asses but today I couldn’t do it. Oh well, there are more balls to smack later.
The guy who went with me was far too nice. With all the pervs coming on to me, I’m not quite sure what to make of the ones that don’t. I know I’m confusing, imagine being me. He did give me a nice peck on the cheek...I guess you don’t get much more than that in the middle of the day so that’s all right. I’m sure the next one will assault me and I’ll be back to normal again.
I don’t get you guys, could you be a little bit more up front? If you like a chick, tell her. If not, I guess you just kiss her on the cheek and leave her alone. I don’t know anymore. Somebody is going to have to explain it to me one of these days. I’m so not sure what to do with you testosterone induced humanoids.
Don’t even ask me what I want because I haven’t a clue anymore. I thought I wanted a man but they all just confuse the hell out of me. Well, I know I don’t want a woman...wish I could, then I could double my wardrobe...but I don’t even want to think about that...ick, ick, ick.
I do know I need my lawn mowed, how hard is that? I can start the mower now that I’ve learned about the button you push before you pull the string...why didn’t anyone mention that before I busted my shoulder and sat out there crying as I uselessly pulled that thing over and over and over. I thought I just wasn’t pulling it hard enough so I pulled it harder and harder. I was a pitiful sight there...crying at my lawn mower.
I felt so damn sorry for myself. I bet my neighbors were looking out their window asking themselves, “Why doesn’t she just push the damn button?” Well, SHE DIDN’T KNOW ABOUT THE DAMN BUTTON! I grew up in a house full of boys and I’ve always had a man around to do such shitty chores. I feel for you guys, I really do.
I must ask, I wonder what other buttons I’m not pushing? What else am I struggling with that has an easy solution? Is there some easy way to pay the rent? Oh yeah, the hooker idea. Oh well, Grandmothers have no business turning tricks and I wouldn’t even know where to apply for that job so to hell with it. It does sound like easy money and I’ve certainly GIVEN enough away over the years...damn...it just occurred to me how much money I would have if I had asked for 5 bucks each time. I wouldn’t ever have to worry about the rent again. Jeez, Rick alone would have paid the rent for a few years.
Every guy I go out with lately is divorced and they all whine about their ex’s who are getting thousands of dollars a month from them. What the hell am I doing wrong? I could have taken half of my other ex’s business but I didn’t think it was fair since I wanted the divorce. Now I feel like an idiot. He’s married to a useless bimbo who is so butt ugly that she couldn’t ever leave him, no normal man would want her. This divorce wasn’t my idea, Rick left me. I didn’t expect anything so I was happy with what I got...but I had a free attorney so I will never know what I could’ve gotten if I were really nasty about it. Yeah, I know, some of you are thinking that this blog was a tad spiteful and I’ll give you that, but honestly, which would you prefer? A blog that you never HAD to look at or writing out a check for thousands every month?
Whatever. I would be happy to have someone to cuddle with on the couch at this point. I have a couple of dudes that I could call, there is one, but he’s too short. Hell, he does seem to like me and he’s never been disrespectful...I think I’ll give Shorty a call.
See ya,
Meg
posted by Meg Kelso | 4:01 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home