Good morning!
Guess where I’m going this morning? Court! Yep, it’s time to pay another piper. This time it’s for when I got caught speeding and the cop let me go with a ticket for not having my license on me. I’ve been a very good girl since the last time I got caught, but the court dates still linger on.
My plan today is my usual strategy...I will see if I can’t just put it off until another day. I like that plan...it always makes my day a bit better when I can put off another trial. With any luck at all, I can put this one off until I win the lottery.
Procrastination and lottery tickets...two of my favorite things. I’m dressed and ready to go and I have been since last night. I worked all night and the other people there asked why I was in jeans instead of my uniform. I told them that I had to go to court in the morning and they said, “You wear jeans to court?”
Well, ordinarily, I don’t go to court but I would dress better if I had any clothes. I lost over half of me with the cancer and all of my clothes are size 12. Right now, I’m a size zero. Isn’t that a stupid size?
If skinny people have to wear a zero, do huge people wear a size infinity? I haven’t had the cash to buy clothes since Rick left so I just have a couple of things that I wear all the time. Every time I lost more weight, I bought a smaller pair of jeans. When I got to zero, I asked the sales lady what I would do when I lost more weight. She told me that I would have to go shop in the little girls department. I haven’t seen any little girls who were 5’ 8” tall so I’m not sure what I would do if I lost more weight. I’m not terribly worried about it now, I’ve been able to eat for a couple of months.
It’s amazing how people don’t mind saying things like, “How do you stay so skinny?” No one would ask a heavy person how they got so fat...what makes it OK to make comments when someone is skinny? And when I was losing all the weight, I couldn’t say a thing to anyone because when you complain about losing weight, EVERYONE does that fake, “Oh you poor thing.” bullshit.
When I was sick and losing the weight, I hated it. I couldn’t gain a pound to save my life and it was pretty scary. I would MUCH rather be heavy and try to lose weight than to be so thin and try to gain it. But, unfortunately, society has a pretty dim view of heavy people.
One Halloween I dressed up as the Pillsbury Dough Boy. Now, I’m used to men being very nice and attentive to me. I always thought that they were just nice. But when I was all full of padding that Halloween, it was absolutely STUNNING how men acted.
They wouldn’t so much as make eye contact with me. I was the same woman that these guys were usually very sweet to. It was a very interesting experience, it taught me a lot about men. (Not enough to realize what a pig and lying sack-o-shit that Rick was, but quite a bit nonetheless.)
I wonder if people even realize that they do that. Attractive women get a lot of attention and gratuitous treatment that they would never, ever get if they were heavy or less attractive. That one day of appearing to be heavy was miserable. I don’t know how heavy women stay as nice as they are. I have met some very pleasant heavy women who would make wonderful wives but they go through life alone because of the way we treat heavy people. Of course, my ex husband’s wife is one of those freaky people who dispels the “jolly” fat person theory, she is anything BUT jolly.
But, most large women that I’ve had the pleasure to know have been kind and loving women and it’s so sad that they have to go through everyday of their lives being treated the way that I was treated that day I was dressed like the Dough Boy. It was pretty obvious that most of me was a pillow but men weren’t going to take any chances...they just looked right past me and pretended that I wasn’t there.
I’d be curious to hear from any men who realize that they do that. I assume most of them don’t realize it, but if there are any men out there who do treat heavy women differently, I would sincerely like to hear from them. What is it about heavy women that makes you guys act like that? For that matter, I’d be interested to hear from women who do the same thing or heavy men who understand what I’m talking about.
It’s not just weight. When I go out in public without make up or wearing my “around the house” clothes, men just sort of treat me in a rather bland, yet inoffensive manner. If I put on make up, fix my hair and wear some cutesy little outfit, they can’t seem to do enough for me. Doors open, smiles flash and conversations begin. Whichever way I am “dressed”, I am still the exact same person.
These observations have taught me to go out of my way to treat everyone with respect, no matter what they appear to be.
OK, it’s court time! I hope that I get that cool lady judge who turned a radio on and had the entire courtroom jamming to R & B. Either that judge, or some dude judge who appreciates the effort I put into looking as good as I possibly can. One way or another...I’m off to court!
See ya!
Meg
Guess where I’m going this morning? Court! Yep, it’s time to pay another piper. This time it’s for when I got caught speeding and the cop let me go with a ticket for not having my license on me. I’ve been a very good girl since the last time I got caught, but the court dates still linger on.
My plan today is my usual strategy...I will see if I can’t just put it off until another day. I like that plan...it always makes my day a bit better when I can put off another trial. With any luck at all, I can put this one off until I win the lottery.
Procrastination and lottery tickets...two of my favorite things. I’m dressed and ready to go and I have been since last night. I worked all night and the other people there asked why I was in jeans instead of my uniform. I told them that I had to go to court in the morning and they said, “You wear jeans to court?”
Well, ordinarily, I don’t go to court but I would dress better if I had any clothes. I lost over half of me with the cancer and all of my clothes are size 12. Right now, I’m a size zero. Isn’t that a stupid size?
If skinny people have to wear a zero, do huge people wear a size infinity? I haven’t had the cash to buy clothes since Rick left so I just have a couple of things that I wear all the time. Every time I lost more weight, I bought a smaller pair of jeans. When I got to zero, I asked the sales lady what I would do when I lost more weight. She told me that I would have to go shop in the little girls department. I haven’t seen any little girls who were 5’ 8” tall so I’m not sure what I would do if I lost more weight. I’m not terribly worried about it now, I’ve been able to eat for a couple of months.
It’s amazing how people don’t mind saying things like, “How do you stay so skinny?” No one would ask a heavy person how they got so fat...what makes it OK to make comments when someone is skinny? And when I was losing all the weight, I couldn’t say a thing to anyone because when you complain about losing weight, EVERYONE does that fake, “Oh you poor thing.” bullshit.
When I was sick and losing the weight, I hated it. I couldn’t gain a pound to save my life and it was pretty scary. I would MUCH rather be heavy and try to lose weight than to be so thin and try to gain it. But, unfortunately, society has a pretty dim view of heavy people.
One Halloween I dressed up as the Pillsbury Dough Boy. Now, I’m used to men being very nice and attentive to me. I always thought that they were just nice. But when I was all full of padding that Halloween, it was absolutely STUNNING how men acted.
They wouldn’t so much as make eye contact with me. I was the same woman that these guys were usually very sweet to. It was a very interesting experience, it taught me a lot about men. (Not enough to realize what a pig and lying sack-o-shit that Rick was, but quite a bit nonetheless.)
I wonder if people even realize that they do that. Attractive women get a lot of attention and gratuitous treatment that they would never, ever get if they were heavy or less attractive. That one day of appearing to be heavy was miserable. I don’t know how heavy women stay as nice as they are. I have met some very pleasant heavy women who would make wonderful wives but they go through life alone because of the way we treat heavy people. Of course, my ex husband’s wife is one of those freaky people who dispels the “jolly” fat person theory, she is anything BUT jolly.
But, most large women that I’ve had the pleasure to know have been kind and loving women and it’s so sad that they have to go through everyday of their lives being treated the way that I was treated that day I was dressed like the Dough Boy. It was pretty obvious that most of me was a pillow but men weren’t going to take any chances...they just looked right past me and pretended that I wasn’t there.
I’d be curious to hear from any men who realize that they do that. I assume most of them don’t realize it, but if there are any men out there who do treat heavy women differently, I would sincerely like to hear from them. What is it about heavy women that makes you guys act like that? For that matter, I’d be interested to hear from women who do the same thing or heavy men who understand what I’m talking about.
It’s not just weight. When I go out in public without make up or wearing my “around the house” clothes, men just sort of treat me in a rather bland, yet inoffensive manner. If I put on make up, fix my hair and wear some cutesy little outfit, they can’t seem to do enough for me. Doors open, smiles flash and conversations begin. Whichever way I am “dressed”, I am still the exact same person.
These observations have taught me to go out of my way to treat everyone with respect, no matter what they appear to be.
OK, it’s court time! I hope that I get that cool lady judge who turned a radio on and had the entire courtroom jamming to R & B. Either that judge, or some dude judge who appreciates the effort I put into looking as good as I possibly can. One way or another...I’m off to court!
See ya!
Meg
posted by Meg Kelso | 7:29 AM
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