Hi!
My daughter has left and now I'm sad...but not as sad as I would have been if she had never come. It was a pleasant surprise and I enjoyed every minute of it. This morning, we were watching some show that had a battling mother-in-law/daughter-in-law duo. It reminded me of the ONE sweet mother-in-law that I had.
"Dot" worked lunches at a family run beef stand that was very close to where I lived. Everyday, on her way home from work, she would pick up my dirty laundry and she bring it back the next day on her way to work. When she dropped the laundry off in the afternoon, she would offer to stay with the kids so that I could go anywhere that I needed to go. If I took her up on her offer and went to the store or someplace else, she would clean my entire apartment while I was gone.
Once, she actually put butt ugly Brady Bunch orange curtains on my bedroom windows...windows that previously had NOTHING at all on them. And, for all the babysitting, laundry, housekeeping and window dressing that the woman did, I returned the favor by being one very ungrateful brat.
I was a very young wife and mother and I was insulted that she thought that I couldn't manage my own household. I saw ulterior motives in everything that she did for me and I never thanked her. If I could, I would go back and let her do whatever the heck she wanted to do for me. It made her happy and in my middle age, I see now that she was just a very kind lady who was doing all that she could to help me and my little family.
To this day, she's very kind to me, asks about my family and shows true concern for my parents who she only met a handful of times. Of course, when my ex's nutty wife hears that we've spoken, she pouts and takes it out on them for a month.
The last time I visited my daughter, my ex in laws took me and my daughter out to brunch. They paid for that little act of kindness for a month. Now, they're senior citizens and as such, they won't be around for a WHOLE lot longer and they have to deal with a selfish brat of a daughter in law. First, they had me...but I outgrew my petty rantings. Now they have a lunatic who we ALL thought would outgrow HER petty rantings once she grew up. My ex was about 33 and she was 17 when they got married (They had been dating for quite a while before they married so I don't know how young of a child that 30 something dude was doing.), some of my ex in laws called me to see if there was anything that I could do to talk him out of marrying her. I don't know why they thought that I could do anything about it...if I could stop him from dating younger women, we might still be married.
Even now, if I speak to any of them and then mention it on this thing...the poor people hear about it for weeks. So, to spare them, I just don't mention it anymore. It saves feelings all the way around.
I still have faith that one of these days, the nut WILL grow up. Sooner or later she has to. But I learned once that when a person abuses a substance, they stop maturing emotionally. They don't learn to cope with life, they just drink or use drugs as a coping mechanism. So, if someone started drinking at 14 and stopped at 35...you would end up with a 35 year old with the emotional maturity of a 14 year old. The nut drinks quite a bit so it'll be a while before she grows up at all.
I hope she does...her in laws don't deserve this treatment. They're really lovely people. I wish that I had figured it out sooner than I did.
Well, my daughter is gone but the mess in the kitchen lingers on. Also, I haven't touched a single e-mail since Sunday and I have to do some stay out of jail work today. It's raining quite a bit here so I don't know how much I CAN get done, but maybe I'll figure something out.
See ya!
Meg
My daughter has left and now I'm sad...but not as sad as I would have been if she had never come. It was a pleasant surprise and I enjoyed every minute of it. This morning, we were watching some show that had a battling mother-in-law/daughter-in-law duo. It reminded me of the ONE sweet mother-in-law that I had.
"Dot" worked lunches at a family run beef stand that was very close to where I lived. Everyday, on her way home from work, she would pick up my dirty laundry and she bring it back the next day on her way to work. When she dropped the laundry off in the afternoon, she would offer to stay with the kids so that I could go anywhere that I needed to go. If I took her up on her offer and went to the store or someplace else, she would clean my entire apartment while I was gone.
Once, she actually put butt ugly Brady Bunch orange curtains on my bedroom windows...windows that previously had NOTHING at all on them. And, for all the babysitting, laundry, housekeeping and window dressing that the woman did, I returned the favor by being one very ungrateful brat.
I was a very young wife and mother and I was insulted that she thought that I couldn't manage my own household. I saw ulterior motives in everything that she did for me and I never thanked her. If I could, I would go back and let her do whatever the heck she wanted to do for me. It made her happy and in my middle age, I see now that she was just a very kind lady who was doing all that she could to help me and my little family.
To this day, she's very kind to me, asks about my family and shows true concern for my parents who she only met a handful of times. Of course, when my ex's nutty wife hears that we've spoken, she pouts and takes it out on them for a month.
The last time I visited my daughter, my ex in laws took me and my daughter out to brunch. They paid for that little act of kindness for a month. Now, they're senior citizens and as such, they won't be around for a WHOLE lot longer and they have to deal with a selfish brat of a daughter in law. First, they had me...but I outgrew my petty rantings. Now they have a lunatic who we ALL thought would outgrow HER petty rantings once she grew up. My ex was about 33 and she was 17 when they got married (They had been dating for quite a while before they married so I don't know how young of a child that 30 something dude was doing.), some of my ex in laws called me to see if there was anything that I could do to talk him out of marrying her. I don't know why they thought that I could do anything about it...if I could stop him from dating younger women, we might still be married.
Even now, if I speak to any of them and then mention it on this thing...the poor people hear about it for weeks. So, to spare them, I just don't mention it anymore. It saves feelings all the way around.
I still have faith that one of these days, the nut WILL grow up. Sooner or later she has to. But I learned once that when a person abuses a substance, they stop maturing emotionally. They don't learn to cope with life, they just drink or use drugs as a coping mechanism. So, if someone started drinking at 14 and stopped at 35...you would end up with a 35 year old with the emotional maturity of a 14 year old. The nut drinks quite a bit so it'll be a while before she grows up at all.
I hope she does...her in laws don't deserve this treatment. They're really lovely people. I wish that I had figured it out sooner than I did.
Well, my daughter is gone but the mess in the kitchen lingers on. Also, I haven't touched a single e-mail since Sunday and I have to do some stay out of jail work today. It's raining quite a bit here so I don't know how much I CAN get done, but maybe I'll figure something out.
See ya!
Meg
posted by Meg Kelso | 7:02 AM
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