You know...
...the inside of a Hot Pocket can be pretty damned hot. Actually, I think that they can be MacDonald's coffee hot. I just burned my finger on one and I think I have a lawsuit. If I didn't mind being on the news as the idiot who burned her finger on the hot stuff in a Hot Pocket, I'd do it.
I couldn't get past the phone call to the attorney without feeling pretty stupid. I could hear that one now:
"Law office, may I help you?"
"Yes, I burned my finger on the guts of a Hot Pocket and I want to sue the bastards."
"How did the Hot Pocket get so hot?"
"I put it in the microwave oven."
"Why?"
"I wanted to heat it up."
"Well...did it work?"
"Hell yeah it worked, I burned the hell out of my finger!"
"Did it have a warning on the box?"
"I don't know, let me look....NO! NO! There's no warning on the box!"
"Well, it IS called a HOT Pocket."
"Yeah, and coffee is supposed to be hot too but that MacDonald's chick got millions."
"Good point, I'll get the attorney."
Alrighty then. Oh, I just found the warning, "Product will be hot." I don't know how I missed that. Well, it doesn't have any special instructions like, "Handle with asbestos quality gloves" so I'm pretty sure that I do have a lawsuit.
It's tough to type with a third degree burn on a finger. That sucker is blistering already. I think I should hold my iced tea with that hand and type with the other. Great. This will be a really, really slow post, sorry about that.
I hate a burn. I'd rather break my leg than burn myself. I don't know why...I've broken my leg and that hurt pretty bad...but a burn just sucks. That and pain above the neck. Earaches, toothaches, sore throats and scratched corneas...all hurt more than a broken leg. Oh yeah...and brain surgery...that hurts too. But a burn hurts more than all of those things.
Actually, I'd rather have ALL of those things at the same time than a burn. I just noticed that my finger doesn't hurt anymore. That's cool. Now I'm afraid that I just cursed myself and will have all of the things that I just mentioned.
Crap.
I better go lie down before lightning strikes me. Lightning is hot and with my luck, it'll hit me on the top of my head and come out of all the orifices in it, giving me a toothache, earache, sore throat, blown up eye balls and then they'd have to operate to fix them all.
OK, see ya,
Meg
...the inside of a Hot Pocket can be pretty damned hot. Actually, I think that they can be MacDonald's coffee hot. I just burned my finger on one and I think I have a lawsuit. If I didn't mind being on the news as the idiot who burned her finger on the hot stuff in a Hot Pocket, I'd do it.
I couldn't get past the phone call to the attorney without feeling pretty stupid. I could hear that one now:
"Law office, may I help you?"
"Yes, I burned my finger on the guts of a Hot Pocket and I want to sue the bastards."
"How did the Hot Pocket get so hot?"
"I put it in the microwave oven."
"Why?"
"I wanted to heat it up."
"Well...did it work?"
"Hell yeah it worked, I burned the hell out of my finger!"
"Did it have a warning on the box?"
"I don't know, let me look....NO! NO! There's no warning on the box!"
"Well, it IS called a HOT Pocket."
"Yeah, and coffee is supposed to be hot too but that MacDonald's chick got millions."
"Good point, I'll get the attorney."
Alrighty then. Oh, I just found the warning, "Product will be hot." I don't know how I missed that. Well, it doesn't have any special instructions like, "Handle with asbestos quality gloves" so I'm pretty sure that I do have a lawsuit.
It's tough to type with a third degree burn on a finger. That sucker is blistering already. I think I should hold my iced tea with that hand and type with the other. Great. This will be a really, really slow post, sorry about that.
I hate a burn. I'd rather break my leg than burn myself. I don't know why...I've broken my leg and that hurt pretty bad...but a burn just sucks. That and pain above the neck. Earaches, toothaches, sore throats and scratched corneas...all hurt more than a broken leg. Oh yeah...and brain surgery...that hurts too. But a burn hurts more than all of those things.
Actually, I'd rather have ALL of those things at the same time than a burn. I just noticed that my finger doesn't hurt anymore. That's cool. Now I'm afraid that I just cursed myself and will have all of the things that I just mentioned.
Crap.
I better go lie down before lightning strikes me. Lightning is hot and with my luck, it'll hit me on the top of my head and come out of all the orifices in it, giving me a toothache, earache, sore throat, blown up eye balls and then they'd have to operate to fix them all.
OK, see ya,
Meg
posted by Meg Kelso | 11:59 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home