I didn’t even know...
...that there was a foot care aisle but, according to the commercial, that’s where you find Lamisil and the entire line of Lamisilk Foot Care products. Special creams for feet, that’s nice, isn’t it? A couple of years ago an Avon lady gave me a box of stuff that she had accumulated over the years and in it, I found a tube of Butt Cream. I’ve never had much of a butt at all and now I know why...I didn’t apply any Butt Cream. It’s supposed to make your butt "baby soft and firm"...both at the same time.
Who knows how my life would have turned out had I discovered Butt Cream years ago? Rick’s always been a butt man, maybe my marriage could have been saved had I known about such a product. Oh well, que sera, sera.
There’s a lotion for every area of the body because just plain old moisturizing lotion wouldn’t do. Nope, we need to have a special lotion for the face, the hands, the feet...and now the butt. Once I caught myself just before I rubbed the Butt Cream on my hands. Lord knows what would have happened if I hadn’t stopped when I did, perhaps my palms would have plumped up and then what would I do? Those stupid hand cuffs wouldn’t slip off so easily and then I’d never be able to escape should I go back to jail. I don’t even want to know what would happen if I put the stuff on my face.
When they came out with feminine hygiene deodorant, I felt so stupid. I had just been washing myself with soap and water. I didn’t even realize that I could have just sprayed the odor away. My mother never told me about such things...I feel so neglected.
I’m a bit better now that I know about the foot care aisle. I’m just wondering what I should do with my knuckles. I don’t have a thing to rub on them. Sure, I can pumice the rough spots away, but then what? Am I just supposed to put regular hand lotion on the knuckles? How stupid would that be?
And those areas behind my knees...what do I put there? FOOT CREAM???
I'm pretty broke now but when I have some cash, I like to shampoo, condition, mousse and spray my hair. Then, I wash, condition, moisturize, de-zit, de-wrinkle and sun block my face. I have to use soap, feminine wash, deodorant, feminine deodorant, lotion, powder, cologne and perfume on my body. I have to apply hand lotion, foot lotion, butt cream and cuticle ointment. Then, and only then, can I start with the eye liner, eye shadow, mascara, lip liner, lipstick, foundation, blush and then a fine mist of make-up stay put spray. I haven't even STARTED with my nails yet and I still have to get dressed. When I get home, I need to use eye make-up remover, make-up remover, astringent and Pond's on my face, but only after I've washed it with Noxema. I need Q-tips, make up remover pads, cotton balls and special brushes.
Now that I'm poor, I have to confine myself to soap, shampoo, deodorant and the natural look.
It could be worse...my poor grandmother didn't even HAVE these things in her time!
Meg
...that there was a foot care aisle but, according to the commercial, that’s where you find Lamisil and the entire line of Lamisilk Foot Care products. Special creams for feet, that’s nice, isn’t it? A couple of years ago an Avon lady gave me a box of stuff that she had accumulated over the years and in it, I found a tube of Butt Cream. I’ve never had much of a butt at all and now I know why...I didn’t apply any Butt Cream. It’s supposed to make your butt "baby soft and firm"...both at the same time.
Who knows how my life would have turned out had I discovered Butt Cream years ago? Rick’s always been a butt man, maybe my marriage could have been saved had I known about such a product. Oh well, que sera, sera.
There’s a lotion for every area of the body because just plain old moisturizing lotion wouldn’t do. Nope, we need to have a special lotion for the face, the hands, the feet...and now the butt. Once I caught myself just before I rubbed the Butt Cream on my hands. Lord knows what would have happened if I hadn’t stopped when I did, perhaps my palms would have plumped up and then what would I do? Those stupid hand cuffs wouldn’t slip off so easily and then I’d never be able to escape should I go back to jail. I don’t even want to know what would happen if I put the stuff on my face.
When they came out with feminine hygiene deodorant, I felt so stupid. I had just been washing myself with soap and water. I didn’t even realize that I could have just sprayed the odor away. My mother never told me about such things...I feel so neglected.
I’m a bit better now that I know about the foot care aisle. I’m just wondering what I should do with my knuckles. I don’t have a thing to rub on them. Sure, I can pumice the rough spots away, but then what? Am I just supposed to put regular hand lotion on the knuckles? How stupid would that be?
And those areas behind my knees...what do I put there? FOOT CREAM???
I'm pretty broke now but when I have some cash, I like to shampoo, condition, mousse and spray my hair. Then, I wash, condition, moisturize, de-zit, de-wrinkle and sun block my face. I have to use soap, feminine wash, deodorant, feminine deodorant, lotion, powder, cologne and perfume on my body. I have to apply hand lotion, foot lotion, butt cream and cuticle ointment. Then, and only then, can I start with the eye liner, eye shadow, mascara, lip liner, lipstick, foundation, blush and then a fine mist of make-up stay put spray. I haven't even STARTED with my nails yet and I still have to get dressed. When I get home, I need to use eye make-up remover, make-up remover, astringent and Pond's on my face, but only after I've washed it with Noxema. I need Q-tips, make up remover pads, cotton balls and special brushes.
Now that I'm poor, I have to confine myself to soap, shampoo, deodorant and the natural look.
It could be worse...my poor grandmother didn't even HAVE these things in her time!
Meg
posted by Meg Kelso | 4:58 PM
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