Dear Meg,
...when we got to my house the guy started to act like his head hurt and said like it was a joke that you know sex helps headaches and I thought he was kidding only when I think about it he wasn't because he started making out with me and wanted me to lay down so we would be comfortable...do all men want have intercourse with women on the first date now? Have I been out of the single life that long?
I don't know what it is but yes, many of them seem to. It's not as though it's just one or two out of ten, maybe 9 out of ten men that I went out with would have had unprotected sex with me the NIGHT THAT WE MET!
I'm surprised the entire world doesn't have crabs. It isn't you, it's just that for some reason, a lot of men seem to think that the first date isn't over until they know you in the biblical sense. I don't act like a tramp, I don't dress like one, I don't say that I want sex and yet they still act as though I'm nuts for not screwing them the first night. I don't understand it at all.
It doesn't matter what a woman does or how she behaves, some men are out to get laid at just about any cost. Married or not, they will screw a woman that they don't know. Of course, all of them aren't like that and I'm sure that some of them can tell stories about women who behave the same way but since I'm a woman, my point of view comes from the female stand point.
I've even gone out with men and told them how offensive it is that a man would expect sex the first night and then the guy seems to think, "Well, she can't mean me, I'm irresistable!" And then, he proceeds to assault me as though he is the ONLY man that I can't say "No" to. With men like that, you can't do a thing except walk away.
Last year I went out with a guy and told him about two guys who I had dates with who had expected sex the first night and not only did he expect sex himself, he continued to call me for two months even though I never answered the phone when I saw his number. This guy's behavior bordered on sexual assault and I probably could have actually made a criminal case out of it. After I told him no and pushed him away, he grabbed my hand and pulled it towards his "member" as though the mere HINT of an erection would make me pull down my pants right then and there. I was so disgusted that I could have puked. I probably should have and if anything like that ever happens to me again, I may just do it. Yeah, I think I will. I'll just barf on his crotch.
I grew up in the 70's when everyone was screwing everyone and I didn't play offense as often as I did last year while I was dating a bunch of men one time. Men who seemed so sincere and decent would end the night by inviting themselves to my place or me to theirs. It didn't matter how I behaved, trust me, I behaved like a lady and STILL they would act as though I had a sign on my forehead that said, "Do me now....PLEASE!!!!"
The younger ones did it a bit more often but the older ones were more persistent. Unbelievable.
Another thing that's unbelievable is the fact that when I asked them if they always expected sex on the first night they all had the same answer..."I don't know, it's been such a long, long time." Yeah, right.
I told one guy that I didn't do men on the first date and in an attempt to get rid of him I was saying that maybe some other time...blah, blah, blah and he responded, "I'm funny, I need the spontaneity of the moment, some other time I may not be ready to perform." He said that as though I wanted him so badly that I would change my mind and give in right that moment.
Even the guy (who I thought was my FRIEND) from last night just invited himself over to my house and said that he just wanted to "sit on my porch swing and see what comes up." In other words, that fool didn't want to take me out, he didn't want to show me a good time or even take me out to dinner. No pretense of gentlemanly behavior. He just wanted to come to my house and use me as a toilet for his sperm. I wouldn't have been quite as offended if he offered to take me out first, bit I most assuredly was offended anyway.
I wish there was some color that you could wear that would signify what your intentions were. Men who want sex could wear purple and women who want it could wear red. That way, we'd all know exactly what was expected. It's so unGodly rude to put a lady in the position of having to say, "No, I don't want to fuck you tonight." To leave on a date, thinking that you're about to have a nice evening, and end up having to put on the sexual brakes is so disappointing. If a guy just had patience and waited, I'm sure that we would let them know when we wanted to "go all the way".
I don't know what the numbers are but in my experience, most men DO seem to expect it right away. I'm going to use that as a poll question...actually more than one, for men and women. Please take the time to answer it honestly. I'm curious about it. How many of you do expect it and what do you think of the people who do? I'd be interested to know. So, after I post this, I'm going to set up a few questions for men and women so that we can each learn a bit about the other. As I said, answer honestly, no one is looking.
Meg
...when we got to my house the guy started to act like his head hurt and said like it was a joke that you know sex helps headaches and I thought he was kidding only when I think about it he wasn't because he started making out with me and wanted me to lay down so we would be comfortable...do all men want have intercourse with women on the first date now? Have I been out of the single life that long?
I don't know what it is but yes, many of them seem to. It's not as though it's just one or two out of ten, maybe 9 out of ten men that I went out with would have had unprotected sex with me the NIGHT THAT WE MET!
I'm surprised the entire world doesn't have crabs. It isn't you, it's just that for some reason, a lot of men seem to think that the first date isn't over until they know you in the biblical sense. I don't act like a tramp, I don't dress like one, I don't say that I want sex and yet they still act as though I'm nuts for not screwing them the first night. I don't understand it at all.
It doesn't matter what a woman does or how she behaves, some men are out to get laid at just about any cost. Married or not, they will screw a woman that they don't know. Of course, all of them aren't like that and I'm sure that some of them can tell stories about women who behave the same way but since I'm a woman, my point of view comes from the female stand point.
I've even gone out with men and told them how offensive it is that a man would expect sex the first night and then the guy seems to think, "Well, she can't mean me, I'm irresistable!" And then, he proceeds to assault me as though he is the ONLY man that I can't say "No" to. With men like that, you can't do a thing except walk away.
Last year I went out with a guy and told him about two guys who I had dates with who had expected sex the first night and not only did he expect sex himself, he continued to call me for two months even though I never answered the phone when I saw his number. This guy's behavior bordered on sexual assault and I probably could have actually made a criminal case out of it. After I told him no and pushed him away, he grabbed my hand and pulled it towards his "member" as though the mere HINT of an erection would make me pull down my pants right then and there. I was so disgusted that I could have puked. I probably should have and if anything like that ever happens to me again, I may just do it. Yeah, I think I will. I'll just barf on his crotch.
I grew up in the 70's when everyone was screwing everyone and I didn't play offense as often as I did last year while I was dating a bunch of men one time. Men who seemed so sincere and decent would end the night by inviting themselves to my place or me to theirs. It didn't matter how I behaved, trust me, I behaved like a lady and STILL they would act as though I had a sign on my forehead that said, "Do me now....PLEASE!!!!"
The younger ones did it a bit more often but the older ones were more persistent. Unbelievable.
Another thing that's unbelievable is the fact that when I asked them if they always expected sex on the first night they all had the same answer..."I don't know, it's been such a long, long time." Yeah, right.
I told one guy that I didn't do men on the first date and in an attempt to get rid of him I was saying that maybe some other time...blah, blah, blah and he responded, "I'm funny, I need the spontaneity of the moment, some other time I may not be ready to perform." He said that as though I wanted him so badly that I would change my mind and give in right that moment.
Even the guy (who I thought was my FRIEND) from last night just invited himself over to my house and said that he just wanted to "sit on my porch swing and see what comes up." In other words, that fool didn't want to take me out, he didn't want to show me a good time or even take me out to dinner. No pretense of gentlemanly behavior. He just wanted to come to my house and use me as a toilet for his sperm. I wouldn't have been quite as offended if he offered to take me out first, bit I most assuredly was offended anyway.
I wish there was some color that you could wear that would signify what your intentions were. Men who want sex could wear purple and women who want it could wear red. That way, we'd all know exactly what was expected. It's so unGodly rude to put a lady in the position of having to say, "No, I don't want to fuck you tonight." To leave on a date, thinking that you're about to have a nice evening, and end up having to put on the sexual brakes is so disappointing. If a guy just had patience and waited, I'm sure that we would let them know when we wanted to "go all the way".
I don't know what the numbers are but in my experience, most men DO seem to expect it right away. I'm going to use that as a poll question...actually more than one, for men and women. Please take the time to answer it honestly. I'm curious about it. How many of you do expect it and what do you think of the people who do? I'd be interested to know. So, after I post this, I'm going to set up a few questions for men and women so that we can each learn a bit about the other. As I said, answer honestly, no one is looking.
Meg
posted by Meg Kelso | 1:09 PM
1 Comments:
i googled the web for "i don't want to fuck you tonight"...
there were 2 results.
one of them were your page.
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