My father emailed me...
...to tell me to get a hold of a "movie" called The Aristocrats. He said that it would make me laugh. He was right. I had tears in my eyes from laughing so hard.
It was major league disgusting but I couldn't help but laugh at it. It's 90 minutes of comedians telling their own version of an old joke where a man walks into a talent agent's office and says, "I have a great act for you...." He goes on to tell the agent about the act which is so gross that I can't really repeat it here. Suffice it to say that there's a lot of things like "crapping in my wife's mouth", "my father is screwing my wife" and "my dog is getting it on with my mother" and other such disgusting thoughts. Then, the agent asks the name of the act and the man says..."The Aristocrats!"
That's the jist of it. I can't do it justice, it takes a Gilbert Godfried to do it properly. But, if you have one of those sick minds that finds fart humor funny, you have to see this thing. If you're very genteel and don't apprecaite that kind of humor, you should probably pass on it.
I was shocked that my father found it funny...but he most certainly did. He can be so classy one minute and so off the wall the next...it's no wonder that I never knew how to act around him when I was a kid.
My father would get into a crazy mood...occasionally. I remember once at the dinner table, he started acting silly and when he did, all 6 of us got into it. During the hilarity, I dropped a scoop of mashed potatoes on his shoe and then sat back up and re-joined the fun. And...fun it was. The problem was that sooner or later my dad would get sick of the fun and put a stop to it. When he turned back into his regular self...he was the same old dad that we were all afraid of most of the time.
When he put a stop to the fun that night there was one problem...the mashed potatoes were still on his shoe. I was terrified. There was no way that I could disappear under the table again at that point...we had to sit up and eat properly. I trembled as I tried to eat...knowing that he would find the potatoes and that he would know that it was I who had put them there.
He looked at me and asked me what was wrong and I began to cry. I had to...I didn't know what else to do. I looked at him and said, "There are potatotes on your shoe!"
He looked down at his foot and said, "So there are. I'd like to thank you for not putting any gravy on my shoe, too."
And then he went back to eating his food. I was dumbstruck.
I wish there was a lesson to learn there but there isn't. It's just a memory that I have and whenever I eat mashed potatoes, I remember that night.
It's amazing what kids remember...isn't it? I remember so many things that my parents told me and I'm quite sure that I wasn't really paying too much attention at the time. I just heard them and later on, when I was older, I had those things to draw on when I needed to know what to do in certain situations.
That's what I was referring to when I said that you can't give a kid too much information. I should have added that you can give them too LITTLE information.
When I was in Florida, my son called and told me that I had to call my grand-daughter right away. She was waiting at the phone for me. I hadn't seen her in a while and she had called my son a couple of times and asked him, "Where's my Grandma?"
The first two times he said, "Grandma is at HER daddy's house." The third time, She asked him (in a very firm and concerned voice), "Daddy...WHERE IS MY GRANDMA?!" I guess she thought that he was hiding me.
I never would have thought that she would even notice that I was gone. She's only 5 (in Septmeber) and you would think that a busy little girl wouldn't be thinking about where her grandmother is. But she did. That made me feel very good. Who needs a bum like Rick when you have such a sweet little girl thinking about you? She used to ask where her Grandpa was as well but she stopped asking about him eventually.
I'll never understand how people can just disappear out of a child's life like that and think nothing of it. But, many people do it. My oldest son's father did it and although my second husband was a rotten husband, he was a great father to my son. You couldn't tell either one of them that they weren't father and son. Luckily, he taught my son how to be a good father.
The girl's mother would have preferred that my son disappear forever but he didn't. She even had another kid and his father DID disappear. So, the little boy calls my son Daddy and he calls me Grandma. We've "adopted" him into our family and we couldn't be happier about that. His father has never laid eyes on him and that's a shame (for the father, not for anyone else). The father and his entire family are missing out on a wonderful little boy who is so full of love that I can't understand why anyone would ever walk away from him. The feeling of his arms around my neck is one of the sweetest feelings in the world.
Men (or women) who walk out on a child think that they're escaping some awful situation when in fact, they're nothing but losers. My son's biological father walked out on him and when he did, he had no idea how much he would miss. He's missing his granddaughter and her brother as well as missing out on watching his own son grow up to be a man...something that he never did.
Meg
...to tell me to get a hold of a "movie" called The Aristocrats. He said that it would make me laugh. He was right. I had tears in my eyes from laughing so hard.
It was major league disgusting but I couldn't help but laugh at it. It's 90 minutes of comedians telling their own version of an old joke where a man walks into a talent agent's office and says, "I have a great act for you...." He goes on to tell the agent about the act which is so gross that I can't really repeat it here. Suffice it to say that there's a lot of things like "crapping in my wife's mouth", "my father is screwing my wife" and "my dog is getting it on with my mother" and other such disgusting thoughts. Then, the agent asks the name of the act and the man says..."The Aristocrats!"
That's the jist of it. I can't do it justice, it takes a Gilbert Godfried to do it properly. But, if you have one of those sick minds that finds fart humor funny, you have to see this thing. If you're very genteel and don't apprecaite that kind of humor, you should probably pass on it.
I was shocked that my father found it funny...but he most certainly did. He can be so classy one minute and so off the wall the next...it's no wonder that I never knew how to act around him when I was a kid.
My father would get into a crazy mood...occasionally. I remember once at the dinner table, he started acting silly and when he did, all 6 of us got into it. During the hilarity, I dropped a scoop of mashed potatoes on his shoe and then sat back up and re-joined the fun. And...fun it was. The problem was that sooner or later my dad would get sick of the fun and put a stop to it. When he turned back into his regular self...he was the same old dad that we were all afraid of most of the time.
When he put a stop to the fun that night there was one problem...the mashed potatoes were still on his shoe. I was terrified. There was no way that I could disappear under the table again at that point...we had to sit up and eat properly. I trembled as I tried to eat...knowing that he would find the potatoes and that he would know that it was I who had put them there.
He looked at me and asked me what was wrong and I began to cry. I had to...I didn't know what else to do. I looked at him and said, "There are potatotes on your shoe!"
He looked down at his foot and said, "So there are. I'd like to thank you for not putting any gravy on my shoe, too."
And then he went back to eating his food. I was dumbstruck.
I wish there was a lesson to learn there but there isn't. It's just a memory that I have and whenever I eat mashed potatoes, I remember that night.
It's amazing what kids remember...isn't it? I remember so many things that my parents told me and I'm quite sure that I wasn't really paying too much attention at the time. I just heard them and later on, when I was older, I had those things to draw on when I needed to know what to do in certain situations.
That's what I was referring to when I said that you can't give a kid too much information. I should have added that you can give them too LITTLE information.
When I was in Florida, my son called and told me that I had to call my grand-daughter right away. She was waiting at the phone for me. I hadn't seen her in a while and she had called my son a couple of times and asked him, "Where's my Grandma?"
The first two times he said, "Grandma is at HER daddy's house." The third time, She asked him (in a very firm and concerned voice), "Daddy...WHERE IS MY GRANDMA?!" I guess she thought that he was hiding me.
I never would have thought that she would even notice that I was gone. She's only 5 (in Septmeber) and you would think that a busy little girl wouldn't be thinking about where her grandmother is. But she did. That made me feel very good. Who needs a bum like Rick when you have such a sweet little girl thinking about you? She used to ask where her Grandpa was as well but she stopped asking about him eventually.
I'll never understand how people can just disappear out of a child's life like that and think nothing of it. But, many people do it. My oldest son's father did it and although my second husband was a rotten husband, he was a great father to my son. You couldn't tell either one of them that they weren't father and son. Luckily, he taught my son how to be a good father.
The girl's mother would have preferred that my son disappear forever but he didn't. She even had another kid and his father DID disappear. So, the little boy calls my son Daddy and he calls me Grandma. We've "adopted" him into our family and we couldn't be happier about that. His father has never laid eyes on him and that's a shame (for the father, not for anyone else). The father and his entire family are missing out on a wonderful little boy who is so full of love that I can't understand why anyone would ever walk away from him. The feeling of his arms around my neck is one of the sweetest feelings in the world.
Men (or women) who walk out on a child think that they're escaping some awful situation when in fact, they're nothing but losers. My son's biological father walked out on him and when he did, he had no idea how much he would miss. He's missing his granddaughter and her brother as well as missing out on watching his own son grow up to be a man...something that he never did.
Meg
posted by Meg Kelso | 7:10 AM
4 Comments:
Meg,
My son's father also was not present in his life and now (25 years later) when my son would like to find him, he is no where to be found. What a shame it is that I have 2 wonderful grandchildren (from my son, 2 more from my daughters) and his father will never feel those arms around his neck and be called grandpa. My husband is and will be their "papa" forever and for that I am extremely greatful. I am truly blessed.
Karin,
You are so right and your husband is so lucky. Parents who book when a child is born think that they're getting out of something but in fact, they are merely lsoers and the things that they lose are worth far more than anything that they feel the need to run away from.
My granddaughter and I used to hide under the blankets on my bed and wait for her Papa to find us. After Rick left, she would hide under the blankets to see if he would come find her. It was so sad and it made me feel awful. I also felt so angry at him for hurting her like that but looking back, he is the only loser in that situation. His kids have children but as they never had a decent father figure, they have no parenting skills themselves and now Rick doesn't get to see his grandchildren because his sons aren't allowed to see their own kids. What a shame.
Meg
This is the guy that treats women the way mothers should be treated....What is it with American society today. While I tend to agree with the many advances that have occured since the 1950s, there is something about that era (in general terms of course) that has been lost and should not have been lost: Family. I grew up, and in fact live, outside of the US, and in the culture that rarised me, Family was and continues to be an integral part of life. In the US, it seems that everyone is running to be on their own as soon as they can (at the age of 18 or before if possible). Now, take me. I am well past 18 and I still live at home, with my parents, why? The answer is simple: I have not married yet. The day that I marry (if that day ever comes), both my future wife and I will move out of our respective parents homes and start a home of our own; however, this does not mean that we will let our parents fall by the waste side. I have many friends who are married, live in their own homes and still go to a weekly family gathering. One of my friends sits down to a christmas dinner with more than 100 people, all family, and everyone from the age of 5 to 100 sits around the table and is encouraged to parcticipate. What happened to family is the US?
You know, I don't know why people think it's so bad when a man lives at home until he's married. It gives him time to save his money and helps his parents as well. But, if a man says he lives with his parents, it's a humiliation. I don't get that.
I was raised in an era when little girls were trained to be housewives and then, when I became an adult, women were all supposed to have careers. My mother was one of very few working mothers in the 60's and I felt badly about that. No one elses' mother worked. When my youngest started high school, I quit work to stay home and take care of him. He said, "How embarrassing, what do I tell my friends when they ask me what my mother does for a living?" I wanted to say, "Tell them I wash your dirty underpants!"
In one generation things changed so much that this was possible. I think that if you read the book Future Shock, you'll find it to be very informative. Within the first chapter it addresses these things and how they are happening. I would suggest it to anyone out there. That book and Farenhite 451 would be great books for all citizens to read.
Meg
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