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Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Jeez I hate laundry...

...especially in August...in Gogia...in a thousand degree heat. I had to wash my most comfortable bra...so now I'm walking around flopping all over in this oversized t-shirt. Actually, since I lost all of that weight, I not only flop...I flip as well.

Of course I haven't primped at all so I'm quite a sight right now. My hair is back in one of those banana clip thingies and when I looked in the mirror this morning, I cleaned the eye snot out of the corner of my eyes and proclaimed my face ready for the day. I probably wouldn't have even done that much if the eye snots weren't black from my mascara and therefore easy to spot. I did take my mascara off last night with the special shit for taking eye make-up off...not just any make-up remover, I have a special bottle of crap for eye make up alone. I didn't pay for it. Some nice man bought it for me because I let him drive me to the store. Aren't I a doll? I had make-up on then. Now I'm just a slob because I'm doing LAUNDRY. Anyway, I cleaned the eye snot out and started cleaning and I haven't stopped ever since.

Now I'm cooking dinner and I need a stupid can of tomato sauce so I have to walk to the grocery store. Maybe I'll hitchhike...I might even meet a nice man that way!

Today I've found dirty clothes in every single room of the house. Each room had at least 3 loads of dirty clothes AND the bed clothes. While I was gone my son had my grandchildren over for one weekend and somehow they left a couple of loads of dirty summer clothes and, just to baffle me, one full load of winter clothes. I left all of the grandkid's clothes on the floor in that bedroom thinking that my kid would clean up after his own kid but I can't just keep the door closed and wait forever. Sooner or later I might want to go into that room for one reason or another. So, I'm just gonna do it my damn self.

I haven't even broached the dishes. When you're cleaning house you sort of leave the dishes there for a while because you just keep finding more and I hate to have just one dirty dish in the house. A sink full of dirty dishes doesn't bother me but if I find so much as one fricking teaspoon...I MUST WASH THAT SPOON!!!!!

Funny, isn't it? If I did the dishes right now, I might find a dirty spoon under some of these dirty clothes and that would just drive me insane. So, I'll leave the stupid sink full, that's nowhere near as pressing as the teaspoon.

This is one of those days that I have to dust the tops of pictures and take that big furry thing and look for cobwebs. I can't stand cob webs either. Once I see one, I have to arm myself with the blue furry fucker and circle the house like Tommy Lee Jones looking for cobwebs. On a day like today, even the dusting gets a little bit fanatical. But, once you have a can of cleaner in one hand and a rag in the other, you might as well keep on dusting. Dusting isn't a job that you can leave half done. A half a dusty room is just as annoying as that one dirty teaspoon.

Thinking about it, there's really not anything that you can leave half done when it comes to housekeeping. You wouldn't wash half of the floor...half of the bathtub...half a toilet. You just have to wash the whole stupid house once you get started. So, that's what I'm doing. And of course, I felt no need to dress for the occasion. So, I'm a bit of a pig right now. But, I had a manicure and a pedicure last week so my toes look good. If only I could answer the door with my toes, I'd be golden. If I ever get this place cleaned up I'll probably take a shower and at least put curlers in my hair. I got those curlers with two pieces, shaped the same only one is a full circle and the other is partially open so it fits over the other curlers. These actually work well.

Curling irons don't work for me and those stupid pink spongy curlers left me looking like a French poodle. If I can, I'll post that disaster while I'm trying to post something else that I promised someone. The program that does that makes the computer screw up for an hour so it's taken me all day to put up the two pictures I already have put up there.

OK, I'm going to go get that blue furry thing and clean cobwebs...ever since I wrote about it I've been thinking about it and it's driving me crazy...I must go hunt the damned cobwebs.

See ya,



Anonymous The Radio Dial Man said...

Finally nice to put a face to all the sane ranting and raving. As I sit here in my office writting this (I work for myself so no one, except perhaps my secretary is looking over my shoulder) I cant help but wonder whether the man who wrote "The World is Flat" (the author's name escapes me at the moment) was truly right. We have so much information at out finger tips where yesterday we didnt. Today's world is soooo hectic, its amazing that we all don't drop dead at the age of 25. I was talking to an elderly gentleman the other day who was suprised at all the gadgets I had on my person. Between the phone, the pager and the other doo dads, I must have been carrying an extra 10 pounds of equipment. They were all going off at one point or another until he finally asked me if I had forgotten the art of converstation with one person. He made me think, whatever happened to the art of conversation between two people without the interrruptions of a third party? Any thoughts?

August 09, 2006  
Blogger Meg said...

Being a relatively old lady, I agree with the old man. I refuse to carry a cell phone. I had one for a job once, but other than that...you won't catch me with one. I finally got call waiting, against my better judgement. I didn't mind busy signals and I think it's rude to be in the middle of a conversation and all of a sudden say to someone, "Hold on, there might be someone better on the other line." (I have caller ID and I won't switch on someone unless one of my kids are calling me) I despise answering machines and I don't have one. All of my friends bitch that I should get one but I refuse. I caved on the call waiting thing but I won't budge on the answering machine. Oddly, people are offended that I don't have one of those. I can see who called me on the caller ID and if I want to talk to them, I'll call them back. I have acquaintances who were literally offended at the busy signal so I got the call waiting. Now they're annoyed because I don't have an answering machine. If I got one of those, I'm sure they would come up with another invention that I don't have so I've quit trying to appease everybody else. I hate talking on the phone period. I prefer to speak in person, over a nice cup of coffee or dinner and I really enjoy chatting at the dinner table. That's something I miss living alone...everybody has left so now I just eat in silence in front of the TV.

I hate getting answering machines myself, especially those phone mazes that you can't get out of.

Also, I would prefer the old busy signal. I would redial a few times to speak to a human being.

I'm with the old man...I'd just like to carry on a conversation with one person without the fear of hearing, "Could you hold on for a minute, my other line is ringing." As for emergencies, they always had a solution for that, you just dialed 0 and asked the operator to break in on a phone call. Barring an actual emergency, I think that everyone else should wait until I've completed a conversation and then it's their turn. I realize that I'm one of a dying breed and that this is a losing battle.


August 09, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


I just love your rants! I can so relate to them. I go through my house ranting at my kids that I must be the only one who can bend at the knees and use my opposable thumbs to pick shit up!! The little smartasses have realised that I WILL pick up what they WON'T...I hate that I'm so anal, but I also hate that they are taking advantage of my compulsive behavior! Kids! Sheesh!

I guess the only good thing we are granted as we get older is the good sense to, still complain, but complain maturely...we are mature enough to realize that we should be thankful that we have a house that dust can settle in and we have children that generate dirty dishes and dirty laundry. Such is life!

But by all means, continue to rant..I get a kick out of it! I have made it a daily routine now to check your blog when my job gets monotonous.

God bless people with a sense of humor! =-)

August 10, 2006  

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