Ouch, ouch, ouch...
...the "numbing medicine" has worn off and I am hurting badly. Thank God for narcotics. I took a bunch and fell asleep. Now I'm wide awake, once again, at 4 AM. I kind of like being up this early in the morning except for one thing...it doesn't seem right to be cleaning the house in the middle of the night and there's a bunch of housework that needs to be done. But, with my back hurting like it does...I'm not about to worry about that right now. I just freaked myself out watching a lame but freaky movie called The Haunting. So, I'm wide awake in the middle of a mess and I'm a tad nervous. I don't even want to look behind me...but I think there's a monster back there.
My son has been staying here for a while now but I doubt he'd appreciate being woken up in the middle of the night by a freaked out mother. I'm quite sure there IS a gobblin or something like that behind me...but as long as it leaves me alone, I won't bother it.
I asked my daughter what she wanted for Christmas and she said that she wanted her bills paid. I told her I'd do what I could but she was in Chicago for the holidays so I waited for her to get back. Now she's home and she said to send her what I could afford. I asked her how much she needed and she wouldn't tell me. She just said, "Send me whatever you have afford." I kept asking her how much she needed and she wouldn't tell me. Yesterday I asked her again and she said, "Two thousand dollars...OK?!" She said that thinking that I would send her less than that and that I would stop asking her how much she needed. Well, I won't ask her anymore, I'm just going to transfer 2 grand into her account when I go to the bank. Working my ass off has allowed me to save that cash for the surgery and she will be blown away when she goes to check her balance and finds that I sent her what she needed. Next time I ask her how much she needs, I bet she just answers the stupid question instead of letting me ask her over and over again.
I was able to buy my oldest a new wardrobe since he got a new job and didn't have any decent clothes to wear. I felt badly watching him wear funky clothes to work everyday when he had a position that required decent clothes. So, I was able to give my kids what they needed which made me feel really good but now I'm broke...which doesn't make me feel all that great but the bills are paid and the kids have what they need so I'm good with that. I won't be able to work like I did for a while...but I've taken care of what I needed to take care of so I guess that's all that matters.
Tomorrow is payday again so I won't be at zero balance when I wake up in the morning. It felt so good to have all that money in the bank but this feeling is nothing new...I was broke for the entire year last year so this is a feeling that I'm comfortable with. I'm just glad that the kids are taken care of and the bills are paid.
I guess that's what happens when a parent saves their money...the kids just ask for something and you give it all to them. I think I'll spend my money as I make it for a few months...at least I'll know why I was busting my ass so hard. It also taught me something else...I have to get my fricking passport and leave the country for a while before someone else needs the money. So, this year I am absolutely going to travel when I get the chance. I will buy a ticket to some faraway place before the month is over and then I'll rent a car in February to pick up at the airport wherever I land. I'll take some cash and drive wherever I want to drive and stop wherever I want to stop. I will probably plan the trip for whenever I find the cheapest ticket. That's how I traveled to Europe last time...I just shopped around for the cheapest airplane tickets and traveled then.
OK...I am going to ask the nurse dude out...next time I see him. I think I'm going to take the advice of the person who said to invite him over to watch the Bears game on TV. I hope he's a football watcher man...he could be a soccer dude. He's from some foreign country, I'm not sure which one he's from but it's obvious that he's not from here.
I understood what the lady who said that I shouldn't ask a guy out was talking about. I usually don't do such things. I get the point that they like to do the chasing but I can ask a guy out and let him chase me, too. I'll only ask him out one time and that won't really be like asking him out for a date...it'll be more like asking him over to watch TV. Then he can ask me out if he wants to. I certainly won't put the moves on him...I can handle a guy saying that he'd rather not come over to my house but I don't think I'd like it if he said, "Oh! Don't do that!" when I leaned over to kiss him. I don't know how the guys put up with that pressure and rejection.
But, I have a bunch of life ahead of me and I plan to take a few chances while I have the chance. I don't want a steady boyfriend right now...I'd rather be free to play around for a bit right now. I wouldn't cheat on anyone and I do plan to play around a bit so I have no business having a boyfriend at this point.
For the time being, I have to wait until this pain goes away so I can't play around much at all. But, I will...the first chance I get. OK then...I have to put some ice on my back right now. I hate pain and the pain medicine isn't working as well as it should be. So, I'm going to freeze my self a bit for a while and if that doesn't work...I'll take some more pain medicine. Or...I could just take a bunch of xanax and go back to sleep for a while.
I'll be back after I feel a bit better.
Meg
...the "numbing medicine" has worn off and I am hurting badly. Thank God for narcotics. I took a bunch and fell asleep. Now I'm wide awake, once again, at 4 AM. I kind of like being up this early in the morning except for one thing...it doesn't seem right to be cleaning the house in the middle of the night and there's a bunch of housework that needs to be done. But, with my back hurting like it does...I'm not about to worry about that right now. I just freaked myself out watching a lame but freaky movie called The Haunting. So, I'm wide awake in the middle of a mess and I'm a tad nervous. I don't even want to look behind me...but I think there's a monster back there.
My son has been staying here for a while now but I doubt he'd appreciate being woken up in the middle of the night by a freaked out mother. I'm quite sure there IS a gobblin or something like that behind me...but as long as it leaves me alone, I won't bother it.
I asked my daughter what she wanted for Christmas and she said that she wanted her bills paid. I told her I'd do what I could but she was in Chicago for the holidays so I waited for her to get back. Now she's home and she said to send her what I could afford. I asked her how much she needed and she wouldn't tell me. She just said, "Send me whatever you have afford." I kept asking her how much she needed and she wouldn't tell me. Yesterday I asked her again and she said, "Two thousand dollars...OK?!" She said that thinking that I would send her less than that and that I would stop asking her how much she needed. Well, I won't ask her anymore, I'm just going to transfer 2 grand into her account when I go to the bank. Working my ass off has allowed me to save that cash for the surgery and she will be blown away when she goes to check her balance and finds that I sent her what she needed. Next time I ask her how much she needs, I bet she just answers the stupid question instead of letting me ask her over and over again.
I was able to buy my oldest a new wardrobe since he got a new job and didn't have any decent clothes to wear. I felt badly watching him wear funky clothes to work everyday when he had a position that required decent clothes. So, I was able to give my kids what they needed which made me feel really good but now I'm broke...which doesn't make me feel all that great but the bills are paid and the kids have what they need so I'm good with that. I won't be able to work like I did for a while...but I've taken care of what I needed to take care of so I guess that's all that matters.
Tomorrow is payday again so I won't be at zero balance when I wake up in the morning. It felt so good to have all that money in the bank but this feeling is nothing new...I was broke for the entire year last year so this is a feeling that I'm comfortable with. I'm just glad that the kids are taken care of and the bills are paid.
I guess that's what happens when a parent saves their money...the kids just ask for something and you give it all to them. I think I'll spend my money as I make it for a few months...at least I'll know why I was busting my ass so hard. It also taught me something else...I have to get my fricking passport and leave the country for a while before someone else needs the money. So, this year I am absolutely going to travel when I get the chance. I will buy a ticket to some faraway place before the month is over and then I'll rent a car in February to pick up at the airport wherever I land. I'll take some cash and drive wherever I want to drive and stop wherever I want to stop. I will probably plan the trip for whenever I find the cheapest ticket. That's how I traveled to Europe last time...I just shopped around for the cheapest airplane tickets and traveled then.
OK...I am going to ask the nurse dude out...next time I see him. I think I'm going to take the advice of the person who said to invite him over to watch the Bears game on TV. I hope he's a football watcher man...he could be a soccer dude. He's from some foreign country, I'm not sure which one he's from but it's obvious that he's not from here.
I understood what the lady who said that I shouldn't ask a guy out was talking about. I usually don't do such things. I get the point that they like to do the chasing but I can ask a guy out and let him chase me, too. I'll only ask him out one time and that won't really be like asking him out for a date...it'll be more like asking him over to watch TV. Then he can ask me out if he wants to. I certainly won't put the moves on him...I can handle a guy saying that he'd rather not come over to my house but I don't think I'd like it if he said, "Oh! Don't do that!" when I leaned over to kiss him. I don't know how the guys put up with that pressure and rejection.
But, I have a bunch of life ahead of me and I plan to take a few chances while I have the chance. I don't want a steady boyfriend right now...I'd rather be free to play around for a bit right now. I wouldn't cheat on anyone and I do plan to play around a bit so I have no business having a boyfriend at this point.
For the time being, I have to wait until this pain goes away so I can't play around much at all. But, I will...the first chance I get. OK then...I have to put some ice on my back right now. I hate pain and the pain medicine isn't working as well as it should be. So, I'm going to freeze my self a bit for a while and if that doesn't work...I'll take some more pain medicine. Or...I could just take a bunch of xanax and go back to sleep for a while.
I'll be back after I feel a bit better.
Meg
posted by Meg Kelso | 2:44 AM
4 Comments:
Hey Meg :) I really enjoyed this post today. Isn't it great to be able to give your kids "extras"? Another example of what a good person you are. Sorry to read that you're in pain. I also concur that you can ask the cute male nurse on a date. No doubt he'll be flattered. :)
Meg,
You are so brave! I wish I had your courage. I hope you feel better soon :)
Take care,
Cheryl
Meg, glad to see you made it through ok, and I am amazed that you can even sit to write at the computer. I feel proud for you that you were able to help your kids....I hope they appreciate it, in your position. Wishing you a speedy recovery.
Aw...it isn't bravery...it's just being used to being cut on, sliced up and poked and prodded. Enough of anything and you get used to it.
I called my daughter today after I transferred the money and she freaked! She said, "Why did you send that much? Can you afford it?" I told her I took it out of my savings account, which I did...and she just thanked me over and over again. She still hasn't called to say she got it...but yes...it was a GREAT feeling to be able to help her out. After all, she was the one who helped me when I needed it badly.
This thing they did yesterday is painful...but that's another thing that's nothing new. You wouldn't have called me brave if you'd seen me on the table...I was saying over and over again, "I can't take it anymore!" They sedated me and said I wouldn't remember it, but I do...I remember every single moment of it. I'm not at all in the mood to come up with an entire post...but I can do this and then I'll come back when I feel like I can sit up and be creative. Right now the most creative thing I can come up with is..."EEEEEK, IIIIIOOOOMMMMOUCH" So, with that done, back to the couch to await my son's arrival home...he's bringing me a Wendy's burger!
OK then...you guys have a good day and I'll be back later.
Love you all,
Ciao
Meggers
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