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Friday, April 20, 2007

Any female who is being honest...

...will admit that by the time some of us are 11 years old, we know how to be very mean. Not all of us, but enough to notice every so often. Those of us who had parents who taught us justly and selflessly wouldn't likely be as cruel as would a young girl who is taught from an early age that she is perfectly within her rights to be a mean and nasty little brat.

You usually find that type of little girl when you have a parent that is subjecting the children to Parental Alienation Syndrome. When one parent wants nothing more than to take a small child and mold it into some sort of weapon to fire at the other parent, you'll most likely get something that will inflict deep wounds. I know as well as anyone what an evil parent is capable of and in my experience, the hatred and nasty behavior is choreographed by a female, although I'm sure that a man could do it as well.

In my experience, it takes a female to create the nastiest of these situations. A mother who has a lot of time to spend with her children can teach those children that "Daddy is evil." even though Daddy was there from the beginning. Before the divorce he wasn't a bad man, Mommy loved him enough to make a baby with him. But all of a sudden, a bitter bitch can work on a little girl so much that the child is totally convinced that not only is daddy evil, the regular rules don't apply to her. So, she can be a little bitch and Mommy will simply reward her for it and relish in the pain of the father.

To drag a man into court time and time again when he has committed no crime is, in itself, a crime. At least it should be. But since this is how lawyers make their money, along with court appointed counselors and DFAC's people who are constantly called by the evil parent, I doubt that it'll stop anytime soon.

Can you imagine how it must feel to all of a sudden have your child taken away from you? Then, you try to maintain the relationship that you had before but your ex won't allow it. She manipulates the kids and tells them how rotten you are. Eventually, you start to see the hatred growing in the little eyes that used to smile at you before the love was replaced with lies and false allegations. You have to go to court whenever the fool makes things difficult and she will, until she teaches the kid to do it for her. Then, things get really bad.

I don't know what Alec Baldwin was thinking when he called his daughter a "pig". But I have an idea what he was feeling. I've seen that look on too many father's faces. That look of helplessness that comes from not being able to hug your child. That look that a father gets when his little girl thinks of him, not as her loving father, but as the mean man who hurt mommy and did God knows what else. The worst of these women actually behave like this and then take their kids to church where there is that one Commandment that they can break, the one that tells them to honor their father.

I'm quite sure that Kim Basinger is very proud of her despicable self. She probably thinks that the entire world is on her side. I am quite sure that plenty of people see that although Alec lost it, Kim is mostly to blame. She totally set up the situation that led to all of the hositilty that never had to exist in the first place. And she has stolen something precious from her daughter that can never be replaced...a daddy in her life to love and be loved by.

The nice thing about it is that this crap will blow up in her face when the monster that she created is loosed on HER. And, that will happen. It doesn't replace the years that were missed and it won't help the little brat that the mother created, but it's always fun to watch someone get their ass kicked by karma. It's one of my favorite things...and so predictable. I love it.

Meg

20 Comments:

Blogger Karin's Korner said...

I sooo totally agree with you. And I have to admit, when I listened to Alec Baldwin this morning I was angered by what he was saying to his daughter but I also believe that children "live what they learn" and we all have to remember that.

I am in a similar circumstance with my step children. Although their mother does not do exactly that to her children she does coddle them and is so overbearing that we know eventually the children will get sick of it and eventually they will rebel and want to come and live with us. We are prepared for that, I just hate the fact that we will have to clean up the mess that she has made of these children.

We all just do what we have to and hope for the best.

April 20, 2007  
Blogger Eliza Doolittle said...

Meg Dearest -

For once I have to disagree. Alec Baldwin is what...48? He is an adult, and no adult should lose their cool enough to leave such a hateful message for a child (even if he despises the childs mother). No One! No matter what the mother does, that little girl is at such an age where she will remember that voice mail forever.

And really, who is stupid enough to leave such a hateful rant in a voice mail?

April 20, 2007  
Blogger Meg Kelso said...

I think that at first, all of us who heard what he said were angry. Then, I started to think, how bad must it be for the man to call his daughter a pig. Nothing excuses that and he was certainly wrong for saying that. I'm sure that he knows that he made a mistake. But you know what? That's more than we can say for the bitch he married. I'm no Baldwin fan, that's for sure. I think Alec is a jerk. But even jerks deserve to have a relationship with their children. Anyone can be consodered a jerk by other people, it's not something that one should lose their kids over.

Rick's first ex was hideous to her kids by Rick. She took the child support after she kicked the boys out and there wasn't a damn thing that we could do about it. When we had all of the kids, his and mine, she never paid us a dime. We made the mistake of not going to court so when she wanted to hurt Rick, she took the boys back and sued for the child support from when WE had the kids...and got it!

Some people are pure evil. Period. Ask my pitiful ex who married a huge, ugly, stupid wench. If I were as funky and stupid as she is, I'd make sure that people would say, "BUT...she's a lovely person".

April 20, 2007  
Blogger Unknown said...

If I'm ever in the Marietta area, I am giving you a call! We seem to have the same views on quite a bit.

I agree, Alec Baldwin went way over the line when he called his daughter names that only reinforced what her mother has said about him through the years. He is the adult, he should have held his tongue. However, while I do not agree with what he said, or how it was delivered, I do agree with you. The first time I heard it I was angry that he had the audacity to speak to an 11 year old child like that. The second time I heard it, I realized it was the volcano erupting. This was not something that happened overnight: this was not one missed call, this was the cumulation of weeks (or months or years) of having his visitation and phone calls manipulated by the adults in her life.

I feel so sorry for that little girl: both parents are trying to evoke hatred in her heart for the other parent, and unfortunately, it seems to be working. As you said, I don't understand how you can love someone enough to have a child with them (and let's face it, they weren't teenagers when she was born), and spew such hatred toward the other 1/2 of your child's DNA.

I hope instead of sitting back and smirking about all this bad press, Kim Basinger has that child at a therapist to work out what both screwed up parents are doing to her. She's a child, not a prize to be "won" by either parent. I just hope she's not standing by either one of them when Karma smacks them both upside the head.

Poor girl. Just goes to show you money doesn't buy happiness: it comes from the heart.

April 20, 2007  
Blogger Meg Kelso said...

Donna, do call if you're around...I'd love to chat. It's been years that these two yahoos have been at this. I wrote the post that's up on the top of the blog a couple of years ago and they were already making a mess of the kids life.

I knew that some people would totally disagree because of Alec's stupidity. But I honestly think they are just lucky enough to have stayed away from a bitter wench of an ex. I've had my kids kidnapped and manipulated so it's a touchy subject for me.

And yes, it's better to be poor in cash than poor in love. They can always find cash, they don't find another father who loves them so much. I would have rather have had my parents be dirt poor potato pickers than to have gotten a divorce when I was a kid. I loved my parents, they were my whole world. They separated when I was 7 and it was the scariest thing that I ever had to deal with. I never knew about finances, there was a place to sleep after I played all day or went to school. And both of my parents were there when I went to bed. I know full well the value of a parent.

April 20, 2007  
Blogger Meg Kelso said...

"...Although their mother does not do exactly that to her children she does coddle them and is so overbearing..."

That's what Rick's ex did. And let me tell you, when karma hit her it landed all over the place. I didn't feel any better because I predicted it, but when they both were arrested for some relatively serious stuff, everyone got hurt.

On top of everything, it's happening to my son. Luckily we see the kids enough to show them how much we love them...but if you aren't able to stay in touch, the mother can tell the kids anything she wants to tell them. I don't know how a mother could take away a man who wants to be a father, I'd just be happy he was there.

Meg

April 20, 2007  
Blogger Eliza Doolittle said...

This just goes to show that people should be required to take some kind of human being competentcy test before being allowed to have a child. Seriously!

April 20, 2007  
Blogger Meg Kelso said...

That'd be nice, wouldn't it? I think the girls should get one of those pretend babies that cries and wets it's pants. Also, if the girls and boys are given other stuff to do, other goals to accomplish, they might be too busy to have a baby. The parents who expect little from their kids get exactly that.

Meg

April 20, 2007  
Blogger JQ75 said...

Meg, thanks so much for an excellent post. I am so surprised at your level of understanding.

I started to write a comment and I saw parallels between my situation and Baldwin's. I thought of examples of what I have been through. Rather than making it a comment, I posted it to my Blog, with a tip of my hat to you and your post.

Please see It's enough to drive someone crazy...

Please see my personal experiences that help me understand Baldwin, not excuse him but understand him.

Eliza, you disagree because you don't understand, and that's a good thing. You can thank God that you have not had to have the unrelenting pain inflicted by the courts on you and your child that can literally drive you crazy, to irrational acts.

April 20, 2007  
Blogger Eliza Doolittle said...

I'm betting I'm the youngest of your readers, Meg...but I wonder if any of you had to do the "flour sack baby" when in high school?

You had a flour sack that you dressed up, named, and had to carry around for a week. Your fellow students were encouraged to narc on you if you left you "baby" unattended. Each time you left your baby alone, you dropped a grade point on the assignment.

And this was after the "abstinence is best" discussion.

Ironically, only the girls had to carry it. And Whitfield County had the dubious title of "Most Teenage Pregnancies"

April 22, 2007  
Blogger Meg Kelso said...

Oh no, when I was in school we didn't discuss babies at all. We took home ec and the guys took shop. They learned to use tools and we learned to cook, sew and run a household. But...not babies...DUH...we didn't have many when we were in high school.

But I've heard of a doll that the schools give girl. They "cried" and wouldn't be quiet until you tried everything, you never knew what was making it "cry". It wakes the girls up in the middle of the night and they can't leave it alone without paying a babysitter.

I've also heard of carrying an egg for a while without breaking it. You had to have it with you for a certain period of time.

They only give it to the girls because WE'RE the nit wits who end up paying the biggest price, not only our lives, but our bodies.

I DID have a progressive teacher who showed the seniors stretch-marks on the belly of a new mother. It was pretty gross.

I think we need to make teenagers having sex as uncool as it used to be. We're doing it with cigarettes, why not sex? At least we could teach the girls...they should be having more respect for themselves and, as my mother used to say, "Put a high price on yourself."

Meg

April 22, 2007  
Blogger JQ75 said...

Ah yes, Meg's from my generation, that's how I remember it too. Girls in Home Econmics, Guys in Shop.

I wonder if shop is still required for everybody. My wife will freak, we had all sorts of power tools and dangerous stuff. Not like you'd find in the average home, I mean serious stuff, band saws, metal presses, drill press, table mounted circular saws, metal cutting, torches.

We had old fashioned pencil and paper drafting (design drawings). We'd have fights with the powder erasers (Knit cloth bags containing a white powder to help correct an error on the drawing).

I remember at the baby shower, I was the fastest at corectly diapering a baby and not sticking it with the pin. Maybe that's because as a child I got stuck with a pin and it took them a while to figure out why I wouldn't stop crying (scared for life LOL).

I'd often return from third shift, driving 100 miles, to find my wife still sleeping and I'd be taking care of my son because he was awake.

Yeah caring a sack all around with you would certainly make you think twice. Of course my son gets dumped on so many different people, anybody but his dad.

April 22, 2007  
Blogger Meg Kelso said...

"Of course my son gets dumped on so many different people, anybody but his dad."

THAT IS DESPICABLE.

April 22, 2007  
Blogger JQ75 said...

Whoa, I could have proofed that one better.

Yeah, it's the sad truth, that's why that anon comment ht a nerve.

You are so right about defending yourself from a moron, it's a hopeless task, I should know, I've spent two years at it and gotten no where.

I'll have a post on that in more detail sometime. For the last two summers, she was working M-F and I was working Th-Sun. Instead of letting me have him for the whole day M,T,W, she'd only let me have him for 4 hours, the rest of the day she dumped him on a play date, neighbor, her family, anybody but me.

So when somebody tells me just walk away and things will take care of themselves. When I pay 3 times as much as a neighbor in child support and someone tells me I don't pay enough. It pisses me off. I should just consider the source.

How come so many regular people can figure this out and the courts and lawyers and media can't?

And then Govt and media can't figure out where the father's are. They gotten eaten alive by a corrupt shitty system.

April 22, 2007  
Blogger Eliza Doolittle said...

JQ - I am very, very sorry for your troubles and pain.

While I'm not suggesting our experiences are comparable, I do understand some of that pain, because what it comes down to is betrayal. Like your wife betraying your trust, her promises, her son's future with his father.

Meg will tell you, as I'm a longtime reader/poster, that I had a husband who felt it was his god given right to a) sleep with lots of women on the sly and b) pressure me into all sorts of nasty things, saying that I should "if I loved him".

As horrid as I felt about him, about myself, I never stooped to his level. Most of my friends felt I would have been well within my rights to cheat on him myself, to burn his clothes in the cul de sac, to sell his SSN to some Nigerian scammer. I did none of these things. I sat, and waited, sure that karma would catch up, and she's bitchy when she's late for the party.

My mother also recently confessed to me that she had a period of two years where she really hated me (12-14). She felt like my father and I would gang up on her, and ridicule her just because we could make her feel stupid. And I've been walking around all these years thinking she was being especially mean because she hated me! The point being, when we finally talked about this, I said "mom, you were thirty five! Shouldn't you know better?" and she gave me a look that could cut glass.

I know I'm rambling, but I always think it's best to take the high ground, even if it costs you more than you want to pay in the short term, in the long run it pays off.

P.S. Your ex sounds like a real bnitch! Can we kick her ass for you? :-)

April 23, 2007  
Blogger Zoey said...

Meg,
I couldn't agree with you more on this story.

However, I do know that men can and will alienate their children from women as well.

I have been legally kept from my children with NO VISITATION for SIX YEARS!

False accusations and what appears to be political connections were my estranged husbands silver bullet!

Nonetheless we must be adults and not lose it when our buttons are pressed by a vindictive ex using our children to torment us.

April 24, 2007  
Blogger JQ75 said...

Eliza, my response to you may have come off harsh. My points were, for a parent to see their child suffer or be used as a tool against them is very painful and over time pain takes a toll. When this toll gets high enough, it is hard to take the high road, it is so heavy, you may be provoked into something that you regret or that is considered "nutty" by others.

I was provoked into making a statement in judge's chambers in the presense of the judge, both lawyers, and the Guardian. I stated, "My son is being used as leverage in this case and anyone who would allow that is guilty of abusing my child and that is very distressful to me."

With a gesture, the bailiff approached me and led me out, I had just indicted every one in the room, but it was true, and the truth does hurt. It hurt me and now it hurt them.

After the guilty discussed their transgressions against my child, I was called in and told, "No error at law was made". Later I was told I was a "poor litigant" by the Guardian. I thought the issue was my parenting abilities not my litigation abilities.

Luckily my relationship with my son has not been damaged, despite my wife's successful restriction of my visitation. So my anger and frustration has always been directed at the court.

Sorry to hear of your distresses. Life is too short, no one deserves such misery.

And yes you can do what ever to my wife (and her lawyer).

It is extremely disappointing that the courts don't remove their blinders, recognize this form of child abuse and order my wife into treatment for it.

But justice is blind and that explains a lot. (jqism).

April 25, 2007  
Blogger JQ75 said...

Louise, when I started my Blog, I thought it was a men against women issue.

I quickly learned that "blind justice" had female victims too. They have certain trends in their bias. But they do bend these bias for what seems almost corrupt reasons to discriminate against either gender.

Although I, like Meg, talk of the court's "popular" bias. I recognize that the court can discriminate against either gender.

I'm sorry for your situation. It demonstrates one of the higher court bias. When an allegation against a parent is made, it is assumed to be true, in the best interest of the child. But this is an assumption that mentally ill parents take advantage of to the detriment of the children. The court is to blind (or more likely uncaring) to recognize this and take action against the parent making the false allegations.

I wouldn't be surprised if the allegations against you weren't numerous and fitting a pattern that was at odds with common sense and logic. But the courts are notoriously absent in these skills.

So they treat you with assumed guilt to protect the child. And by so doing have deprived the child of the needed two parent upbringing, doing more harm than good.

The false allegations were enough, the connections sealed the deal.

The courts need to recognize this and order the falsely alleging parent to mental health treatment.

If this was a deliberate action and supported by lawyers playing legal games (as often is the case), then the court should order sanctions against these parties, for they are attempting to deprive the child of a two parent upbringing.

I wonder when we'll see these solutions.

April 25, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I know, late to the party, but whatever.
I am the Adult "Child" of a Personality Disordered Walking Cluster B-Fuckup "Mother."
And guess who I terminated the relationship with when I became an adult? Hint: It was NOT my father.
Guess who stalked me/stalked me by proxy/destroyed my first career post undergrad/had her PI's tap my phone-oh, I could go on about this forever, but why bother.
Bottom line? Just remember folks who are on the receiving end of this BS with an ex who is using the kids as an WMD: The end of this story has not been written yet.
And kids see a whole lot more than they SAY. It'll be even more astounding to hear about the whole mess when they are adults and recognize they have the freedom to speak....and tell the TRUTH.
TW

May 15, 2012  
Blogger Meg Kelso said...

Perhaps they should put Lo-Ovral in the drinking water.

May 15, 2012  

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