I opened an account on a dating service...

...for blog fodder like I did a couple of years ago. Like I did last time, I made up a fake name again. I can't tell you what it is...it might blow my cover. But anyway, in my fake profile there is one thing that is true. That is when I say...right on the front of my page...that, "... I don't do adultery. Other than that, I'm easy to please....".

So, from whom do I hear? A couples of guys, HardNDirty33 and NiceRedHead, who "prefer not to say" whether they're married or not.

Then, there's one who writes to me:

Well to be honest and upfront i am in a relationship.I am not married at all buy no means but i do have a girlfriend.I am looking to make new friends.I don't believe in lying about anything i believe in being upfront and straight forward.

Well, it's nice to know that he's "honest".

And then there's this pearl:

I hope this is not inappropriate, if so i apologize in advance..I am a discrete, professional, straight married male.6'1" 188 lbs. white, brn/blue, athletic and nice looking. I believe discrete encounters should be fun and full of laughter.. and upon leaving both of us have a big smile and a fond memory....hopefully have a relationship that adds to both of our lives.

It takes more than a "big smile" for me to have a "fond memory".

Then there are the nit wits whose profile shouts, "RUN! I FREAK OUT EVERY FEMALE THAT I MEET!!!!" How's this one for a potential postal employee:

im going to try this one more time to see where it goes. the last time it really suck most of the ladies on here don't know how to be honest

That one will be on the news someday, of that I am sure. Now...I would be remiss if I left out another married man who has no clue what bait to use when fishing for a lady:

He seems rather proud of his armpits...doesn't he? I wonder if his wife knows that his armpits are all over the internet? I think I'm going to begin a bit of an exhibition. Like an artist, I'm going to use my talents to seek out and hunt down stories from the world on internet dating and see what I can find. Once I found a guy who acted like a jerk and I put him on the blog only to get a comment from someone who knew the guy as a county official in Michigan. I got that one. I posted our entire email relationship online...it wouldn't have been good for any elections that might have been coming up as far as that jerk was concerned.

Here's the link to the first post after I found out who he was:

http://diaryofmydivorce.blogspot.com/2005/10/ok_112904574249641964.html

For the following week or so after that...I nailed that fool. He deserved it, trust me.

Anyway, I'm gonna play with these yahoos for a while.

See ya!

Meg