Meg...
"...How did the orgasm-hog take the breakup? I hope he didn't give you a hard time. I always figured that since women were made to have multiple orgasms and men weren't...that we should at LEAST have a 1:1 ratio..."
He tried to give me a hard time but I didn't fall for it. I just came out and told him that his lack of concern for my pleasure in the sack shows a blatant disregard for my feelings in general. He turned it around on me saying that I should have told him what I wanted...and I told him that I DID, while we were talking about sex before we ever had it. It's as though he forgot that we had those conversations. And besides, I shouldn't have to ASK for reciprocation in that department...it should just come with the man.
He got all manipulative and tried to make me feel guilty about dumping him but I wouldn't participate in his arguments. We never had one before so I didn't know how he argued. He argues in an unfair manner and I can see right through him. It's like a mother seeing through the silly things that a 3 year old is trying to tell her. He's young, but not so young as though he should think that I'm that stupid. If he does think I'm that stupid he doesn't know me very well.
Everyone has their own style of arguing and if you look at the arguments objectively, you'll see the pattern that a person's arguments follow. With Rick, I would try to talk to him and he would get angry. He'd stay angry until I cried. Then, he stayed angry until I got sick of crying and became angry myself. Then, he would give in, every time. So, I just started skipping the unpleasant steps and went straight to angry. His methods were the same no matter what the fight was about.
This guy seems to simply argue every stupid little word, point and thought that I have. When I said, "We'll have to agree to disagree.", he wouldn't take that for an answer. I said that I was done speaking, that I've made my point and he just kept trying to get me to talk. I went into my bedroom and closed the door. He came in without knocking and started trying to get me to fight back. I said that I wouldn't be pulled into an argument. He said that he didn't want to fight either but "We need to straighten this out."
I said that no, we didn't because I said all that I had to say. He said that he deserved the right to say what HE wanted to say but my whole point was that I didn't want to deal with him anymore. Duh. There was nothing to be gained from hearing anything that he had to say and I told him that. He said, "Don't you think it's only fair that I have my say?" I told him to "Write it down and send it to me, I'll read it at my leisure."
Then, he kept on trying to talk so I said, "You know, this is restraining order behavior." That got him to leave. So, once less bell to answer.
I didn't fight much with Rick before we got married so the first time that we did argue was 2 years into our marraige and he used it as a reason to leave me and date some other women. After a while, even Rick couldn't fuck as many women as we had arguments.
I'll have to argue with guys before I sleep with them. That's a new rule. If a guy tells me he wants to "go into the other room" I'll say, "Not until we have an argument." It tells so much about a person. I need to see how they respond to my usual argument. It goes something like this, "I want a guy who doesn't stare at other women's asses (or whatever the issue is) when they're with me...period. I won't back down on that point. You have the right to walk away and do whatever you want to do but if you can't stop staring at other chick's when you're with me, you have to go." There's no room for discussion on some points. I won't budge and that's all there is to it. If a guy wants to be with me, he'll understand that and deal with it. If he doesn't want to deal with it, he's free to leave. This guy didn't respond well to that point so I had to set him free. If he comes back, I'll set him on fire
As long as there's a guy with you, no other men will talk to you. This one tried to be near me a tad too much. He called it "missing me" and I called it "stalking". The truth was probably somewhere in between. This guy was really cramping my style and as Jerry Seinfeld once said, "I may have inadvertently sent him the wrong message by sleeping with him." OK, my bad.
"...You are a wonderful person who seems to put everyone else first, and herself second. Time to put Mamma first, darlin'. Guilt is for suckers, not us..."
I really do. I don't know why I do, but I do. I've actually stayed with this guy longer than I should have because I didn't want him to feel bad. I sat there looking at him thinking, "There's nothing that I want from that dude." There was nothing that I could gain, all I could do was lose. If he never even DID anything wrong (which was his argument, by the way) it doesn't matter and no, you don't get goody points for not cheating or lieing. That stuff is a given. If there isn't that chemistry, there's nowhere to go but out with someone else. There are too many guys out there for me to nab so I really don't need one hanging on like that.
I hate it when I see myself letting someone else control me and every stupid aspect of my life from where I am living to why don't I have an answering machine. I didn't want an answering machine so my father bought me one for Christmas. Now he bitches at my greeting on the stupid machine. I told him that I never wanted one in the first place but he had to see me have one of those so he has to deal with my greeting.
Right now, if I had my druthers, I'd ruther be in LA, near my daughter, living alone. But, for so many reasons, my father, my son, my grandkids and blah, blah, blah, I'm afraid to leave this stupid state and go that far away. I don't think I even know how to put myself first.
Meg
"...How did the orgasm-hog take the breakup? I hope he didn't give you a hard time. I always figured that since women were made to have multiple orgasms and men weren't...that we should at LEAST have a 1:1 ratio..."
He tried to give me a hard time but I didn't fall for it. I just came out and told him that his lack of concern for my pleasure in the sack shows a blatant disregard for my feelings in general. He turned it around on me saying that I should have told him what I wanted...and I told him that I DID, while we were talking about sex before we ever had it. It's as though he forgot that we had those conversations. And besides, I shouldn't have to ASK for reciprocation in that department...it should just come with the man.
He got all manipulative and tried to make me feel guilty about dumping him but I wouldn't participate in his arguments. We never had one before so I didn't know how he argued. He argues in an unfair manner and I can see right through him. It's like a mother seeing through the silly things that a 3 year old is trying to tell her. He's young, but not so young as though he should think that I'm that stupid. If he does think I'm that stupid he doesn't know me very well.
Everyone has their own style of arguing and if you look at the arguments objectively, you'll see the pattern that a person's arguments follow. With Rick, I would try to talk to him and he would get angry. He'd stay angry until I cried. Then, he stayed angry until I got sick of crying and became angry myself. Then, he would give in, every time. So, I just started skipping the unpleasant steps and went straight to angry. His methods were the same no matter what the fight was about.
This guy seems to simply argue every stupid little word, point and thought that I have. When I said, "We'll have to agree to disagree.", he wouldn't take that for an answer. I said that I was done speaking, that I've made my point and he just kept trying to get me to talk. I went into my bedroom and closed the door. He came in without knocking and started trying to get me to fight back. I said that I wouldn't be pulled into an argument. He said that he didn't want to fight either but "We need to straighten this out."
I said that no, we didn't because I said all that I had to say. He said that he deserved the right to say what HE wanted to say but my whole point was that I didn't want to deal with him anymore. Duh. There was nothing to be gained from hearing anything that he had to say and I told him that. He said, "Don't you think it's only fair that I have my say?" I told him to "Write it down and send it to me, I'll read it at my leisure."
Then, he kept on trying to talk so I said, "You know, this is restraining order behavior." That got him to leave. So, once less bell to answer.
I didn't fight much with Rick before we got married so the first time that we did argue was 2 years into our marraige and he used it as a reason to leave me and date some other women. After a while, even Rick couldn't fuck as many women as we had arguments.
I'll have to argue with guys before I sleep with them. That's a new rule. If a guy tells me he wants to "go into the other room" I'll say, "Not until we have an argument." It tells so much about a person. I need to see how they respond to my usual argument. It goes something like this, "I want a guy who doesn't stare at other women's asses (or whatever the issue is) when they're with me...period. I won't back down on that point. You have the right to walk away and do whatever you want to do but if you can't stop staring at other chick's when you're with me, you have to go." There's no room for discussion on some points. I won't budge and that's all there is to it. If a guy wants to be with me, he'll understand that and deal with it. If he doesn't want to deal with it, he's free to leave. This guy didn't respond well to that point so I had to set him free. If he comes back, I'll set him on fire
As long as there's a guy with you, no other men will talk to you. This one tried to be near me a tad too much. He called it "missing me" and I called it "stalking". The truth was probably somewhere in between. This guy was really cramping my style and as Jerry Seinfeld once said, "I may have inadvertently sent him the wrong message by sleeping with him." OK, my bad.
"...You are a wonderful person who seems to put everyone else first, and herself second. Time to put Mamma first, darlin'. Guilt is for suckers, not us..."
I really do. I don't know why I do, but I do. I've actually stayed with this guy longer than I should have because I didn't want him to feel bad. I sat there looking at him thinking, "There's nothing that I want from that dude." There was nothing that I could gain, all I could do was lose. If he never even DID anything wrong (which was his argument, by the way) it doesn't matter and no, you don't get goody points for not cheating or lieing. That stuff is a given. If there isn't that chemistry, there's nowhere to go but out with someone else. There are too many guys out there for me to nab so I really don't need one hanging on like that.
I hate it when I see myself letting someone else control me and every stupid aspect of my life from where I am living to why don't I have an answering machine. I didn't want an answering machine so my father bought me one for Christmas. Now he bitches at my greeting on the stupid machine. I told him that I never wanted one in the first place but he had to see me have one of those so he has to deal with my greeting.
Right now, if I had my druthers, I'd ruther be in LA, near my daughter, living alone. But, for so many reasons, my father, my son, my grandkids and blah, blah, blah, I'm afraid to leave this stupid state and go that far away. I don't think I even know how to put myself first.
Meg
posted by Meg Kelso | 9:30 AM
2 Comments:
I can't stand people who want to control me - it grates on my last nerve. Some of these people might even seem to be helpful at times, but watch out. Once you want to be 'liberated', they'll make it seem as if you are ungrateful, and might even make your life miserable. For this reason, I do not accept anything from any guy unless there is some sort of real commitment - a comfortable commitment.
You're a beautiful person - both inside and out, you can get and do so much better.
Why thank you darlin'. You are so right about not taking anything from anyone, you WILL end up owing them something that you don't want to give. I'm not having a good time dating these days. I have a couple of good ones out there, but the freaks are so badly in the majority that I usually get 5 of them to each normal guy. I think I should move to Alaska, I hear women have their pick of men there.
:):):)
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