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Hi. I'm trying to think of another description to put here. Any ideas? I'll try again at 420.

Thursday, July 05, 2007

Good morning...

...I think.

I fell asleep with a light on...it's one of those lamps that clamps onto anything. I had mine clamped onto the window sill above my sleeping head. I've been hanging out in bed trying to feel as uncrappy as I can. I keep on trying to sleep but I end up waking up every couple of hours. The last time that I woke up I saw the light shining on me, remembered that it was the lamp and sat up to watch more of the History Channel....secure my assumption that it was the middle of the night.

Since my phone only rings 4 times before the machine picks it up (And no, I don't know how to change it.), I have to keep it close to me. I was sleeping in the bed alone except for my phone and the clicker. The phone rang, irritating the hell out of me. Who would call me in the middle of the night? Maybe that social clod who stopped by my place at 4 AM last weekend? Whomever it is...I don't like them.

I picked the phone up and said, "Hello?" in a rather terse manner. Someone asked for my son and I assumed that only one of his nit wit friends would call at such a hideous hour of the day. So, when the guy asked for William, I said, "Let me ask you this...what's the emergency that was so bad that 911 wouldn't do and you had to call my kid to save you?"

The attorney responded, "Ma'am...would you be so kind as to take a message?" Now I'm worrying that my son wasn't down the hall in bed but actually in jail somewhere.

"What's wrong with my son that he needs an attorney?" I queried.

"Didn't he tell you?" the befuddled attorney queried back.

"How could he...isn't he in jail?" Now we were both confused and I began to get out of bed.

"Have you spoken to him yet?" Now we both KNEW the kid was in jail.

"No ma'am, I haven't but I'll go there right away." I was fully clothed. As I pulled the shirt down over my head, I noticed the unmistakable odor of arm pit that needs a shower. But it didn't matter, my son was in trouble so I had to go.

Before I had a chance to say..."OK, I'll meet you there!", I noticed that the light was streaming in from the window...so much so that it pretty muched drowned out the light from my stupid lamp. Suddenly things began to make sense to me. I asked the attorney, "By the way...what did you call for?

"I'm returning a call your son made yesterday."

OK...I'm an idiot. But so was the lawyer. I carried the phone out to my son who made a face that said, "You stink."

The only thing the lawyer was calling about was the settlement of an accident that my son has.

I think I'm going to take a shower and then go back to bed...without the phone. I can't be trusted with that sucker.

Meg

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