I recently received an email...
...from a dude who was the victim of a cyber-tease. I've heard of a few guys who have had that happen to them, although it happens with women as well. With women, the guy just wants to chat online and use a web cam if at all possible. That's his way of "cheating" on his wife without actually leaving the house. But...when women do it, they usually do it for different reasons. But, if it suits their own purposes, a woman will do a tad of cyber-sex...but that's as close as these guys will ever get.
The guy was stunned because he thought that this little thing was something that she wasn't. She put herself out to be a "never married" and available woman when in reality, she was divorced and simply getting a kick out of the attention and the control that she wielded over the guys. If you're having a similar situation, ask yourself a few questions:
1. Do you actually have feelings for a person that you've never met?
2. Does this person have other men communicating with her on a daily basis?
3. Have you changed ANY of your own behavior because of something that this little woman has said to you?
4. Are there things that you enjoyed before you cyber met the tease that she has convinced you are bad things?
5. Do you feel the need to hide ANYTHING from this woman for fear of incurring her wrath?
6. Does she ever discuss actually MEETING you or does she somehow seem to have a reason to keep your relationship totally via phone lines and cable modems?
7. Does she speak ill of other women in a way that seems rather disproportionate to the actual circumstances?
8. Are there any other women that associate with her for any length of time or does she seem to surround herself with men, sooner or later finding SOMETHING wrong with EVERY female who comes along?
9. Is ANYTHING that she says verifiable...or are you believing her out of the trusting nature of your heart?
10. Does she have a sob story that makes you feel like she needs your protection?
There. If you answered yes to 3 or more questions...you are being cyber-teased.
Just go back to being yourself and doing whatever you want to do. Adults don't have to explain their behavior and they should never have to change their behavior for anyone. If someone doesn't like you and your behavior online...do you really think that the future holds much freedom for you? If someone truly cares about you...they'll enjoy you and your behavior...not manipulate you and other men into changing their behavior to suit her purposes.
Have fun!
OH, by the way, another important thing to remember is that Adult Children of Alcoholics have their own support group. They grow up learning how to manipulate others quite well. So, be careful when dealing with the children of addicts, no matter how pathetic their stories...normal people don't dwell on their past.
PS... I can't believe this...but a nut (Little Wing) must have thought that I was referring to her when I wrote this post. I didn't know that she was into manipulating men...but just in case there are other women thinking that this post was about them...it came from a person in Michigan. LOLOL, why would someone take this post and say..."LOOK! I'm the cyber-tease she's talking about!" Some people are simply childish. Too funny.
Here's part of her LATEST email to me:
You bitter losing bitch! I AM THE WINNER. See mycomments? I have MORE comments than you will ever have. I am betterlooking than you or your ugly fat friends. Only bitter ugly girls whogot left behind comment on your blog. You sagging old bitter hag.
LOLOLOLOLOL....Methinks she doth protest too much. I must have truly his a nerve when I wrote about cyber-teases. Sorry if I screwed up your plan hon...just continue to disallow the men to communicate with other women by dangling the hope of a meeting...I won't interrupt...if they're that stupid, I can't help them.
And if it makes you happy, yes child...you are the winner. I'm not sure what the contest was...but you can have the prize. One nice thing about being an old hag is that old hags aren't bothered by brats anymore than a 30 year old man would be bothered by a two year old calling him a "poo poo head".
...from a dude who was the victim of a cyber-tease. I've heard of a few guys who have had that happen to them, although it happens with women as well. With women, the guy just wants to chat online and use a web cam if at all possible. That's his way of "cheating" on his wife without actually leaving the house. But...when women do it, they usually do it for different reasons. But, if it suits their own purposes, a woman will do a tad of cyber-sex...but that's as close as these guys will ever get.
The guy was stunned because he thought that this little thing was something that she wasn't. She put herself out to be a "never married" and available woman when in reality, she was divorced and simply getting a kick out of the attention and the control that she wielded over the guys. If you're having a similar situation, ask yourself a few questions:
1. Do you actually have feelings for a person that you've never met?
2. Does this person have other men communicating with her on a daily basis?
3. Have you changed ANY of your own behavior because of something that this little woman has said to you?
4. Are there things that you enjoyed before you cyber met the tease that she has convinced you are bad things?
5. Do you feel the need to hide ANYTHING from this woman for fear of incurring her wrath?
6. Does she ever discuss actually MEETING you or does she somehow seem to have a reason to keep your relationship totally via phone lines and cable modems?
7. Does she speak ill of other women in a way that seems rather disproportionate to the actual circumstances?
8. Are there any other women that associate with her for any length of time or does she seem to surround herself with men, sooner or later finding SOMETHING wrong with EVERY female who comes along?
9. Is ANYTHING that she says verifiable...or are you believing her out of the trusting nature of your heart?
10. Does she have a sob story that makes you feel like she needs your protection?
There. If you answered yes to 3 or more questions...you are being cyber-teased.
Just go back to being yourself and doing whatever you want to do. Adults don't have to explain their behavior and they should never have to change their behavior for anyone. If someone doesn't like you and your behavior online...do you really think that the future holds much freedom for you? If someone truly cares about you...they'll enjoy you and your behavior...not manipulate you and other men into changing their behavior to suit her purposes.
Have fun!
OH, by the way, another important thing to remember is that Adult Children of Alcoholics have their own support group. They grow up learning how to manipulate others quite well. So, be careful when dealing with the children of addicts, no matter how pathetic their stories...normal people don't dwell on their past.
PS... I can't believe this...but a nut (Little Wing) must have thought that I was referring to her when I wrote this post. I didn't know that she was into manipulating men...but just in case there are other women thinking that this post was about them...it came from a person in Michigan. LOLOL, why would someone take this post and say..."LOOK! I'm the cyber-tease she's talking about!" Some people are simply childish. Too funny.
Here's part of her LATEST email to me:
You bitter losing bitch! I AM THE WINNER. See mycomments? I have MORE comments than you will ever have. I am betterlooking than you or your ugly fat friends. Only bitter ugly girls whogot left behind comment on your blog. You sagging old bitter hag.
LOLOLOLOLOL....Methinks she doth protest too much. I must have truly his a nerve when I wrote about cyber-teases. Sorry if I screwed up your plan hon...just continue to disallow the men to communicate with other women by dangling the hope of a meeting...I won't interrupt...if they're that stupid, I can't help them.
And if it makes you happy, yes child...you are the winner. I'm not sure what the contest was...but you can have the prize. One nice thing about being an old hag is that old hags aren't bothered by brats anymore than a 30 year old man would be bothered by a two year old calling him a "poo poo head".
posted by Meg Kelso | 8:27 AM
6 Comments:
I couldn't do that... I would feel bad cyber-teasing men.
But I feel that men who allow themselves to be "pussy whipped" by a woman in the way you described are just as much to blame.
If I saw a guy whom I liked online, and I saw that the guy was flirting with 30+ other women who are also commenting on his blog, what would make me think that I'm so special??? Just because we email little fantastic thoughts to each other doesn't mean anything. I just don't see why anyone would fall for this...sooo, I say it's just as much the guy's fault.
Excellent post, Meg!
For some its an art, the art of deceit. They are so clever it takes a genius to catch them out, I also think they very much decieve themselves, not only those they touch.
I think you should suggest that quiz to http://www.blogthings.com LOL.
Hey Lara, I'll look into it!
Thanks girlie girl!
Lara, I can't find the submission button!
:(:(:(
Bummer, oh well, you could always create your own quiz LOL..
Now back to your last bit of comment, all I can say is if the shoe fits???
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