Tomorrow I'm leaving for Florida...
...so today I have to finish packing. Of all the days to sleep late, I had to do it today.
That's OK as long as I don't oversleep tomorrow. I don't know how long I'll be in Florida, I'm just going there to help my father out. But my plan is to go to California for a while sometime this year to spend a while with my daughter. I'd do that first but my father needs help a bit too much right now.
He's been taking care of his lady friend for so long that he's sounding depressed when I speak to him. Also, he doesn't understand Alzheimer's Disease at all. He thinks that the lady is doing things to annoy him. I know it looks like that to him but this woman long ago lost her ability to annoy people purposely.
People who are assholes when they get Alzheimer's usually are still assholes as the disease progresses. People who are nice usually remain nice. This lady was the perfect match for my sarcastic father. They can both be quite caustic with their humor...that's why I enjoyed watching them together, she could come back with a sharp tongue just as easily as he could. But, now that she's gotten so sick, her behavior is mostly annoying and my father thinks that they're still just bickering. They aren't...she couldn't if she wanted to.
Alzheimer's is a weird disease, it leaves enough of your personality there so that some people think you are just being difficult. But this lady isn't trying at all. She just IS difficult. My father makes her 3 decent meals a day and she refuses to eat them. He's lucky if he can get her to eat one decent meal a day. She also refuses to take her breathing treatments which is why she keeps on ending up in the hospital. When she's in the hospital, she listens to the staff so I can get her to listen to me. I'll just take away her cigarettes and give her one after she eats or after she does something she's supposed to do.
She's not going to like me very much, but I'm not in her will so that doesn't matter. I told her and my father that I would stay down there as long as I'm doing her some good. If she won't listen to me or if she fails to thrive while I'm there, I'll have to see to it that she does go into a nursing home. My entire purpose in going down there is to help my father keep her out of one. That's what she wants...so we'll try. But if we can't get her to listen to us, she will go to one and knowing her, it'll be a locked unit when she'll be lucky to get 2 cigarettes a day.
Anyway, I do have the cigarettes to use as currency. She also likes to sit around and drink Scotch. It's been my experience that doctors don't mind if a dying patient has a highball or two...but this woman will drink it until it's gone or she passes out. That won't happen while I'm there. I'll give her one drink, but after that, the liquor will be missing. My father thinks that if she can bitch and bitch until he gives her another glass, that she must be alert enough to make that decision. That's not the case at all.
I'm hoping that shortly after I get there my father will leave on a short vacation. I need to get her attention ans let her see that I mean it when I take the cigarettes away. I can't let her go whining to my father unless he can say no. I'm sure he can, but I think he needs a vacation anyway.
So anyway, I'll be leaving for Tampa tomorrow morning. Damn...my nails need a coat of clear nail polish. I can't believe that these stupid nails aren't finished yet. I may end up at the stupid salon anyway. Shit.
...so today I have to finish packing. Of all the days to sleep late, I had to do it today.
That's OK as long as I don't oversleep tomorrow. I don't know how long I'll be in Florida, I'm just going there to help my father out. But my plan is to go to California for a while sometime this year to spend a while with my daughter. I'd do that first but my father needs help a bit too much right now.
He's been taking care of his lady friend for so long that he's sounding depressed when I speak to him. Also, he doesn't understand Alzheimer's Disease at all. He thinks that the lady is doing things to annoy him. I know it looks like that to him but this woman long ago lost her ability to annoy people purposely.
People who are assholes when they get Alzheimer's usually are still assholes as the disease progresses. People who are nice usually remain nice. This lady was the perfect match for my sarcastic father. They can both be quite caustic with their humor...that's why I enjoyed watching them together, she could come back with a sharp tongue just as easily as he could. But, now that she's gotten so sick, her behavior is mostly annoying and my father thinks that they're still just bickering. They aren't...she couldn't if she wanted to.
Alzheimer's is a weird disease, it leaves enough of your personality there so that some people think you are just being difficult. But this lady isn't trying at all. She just IS difficult. My father makes her 3 decent meals a day and she refuses to eat them. He's lucky if he can get her to eat one decent meal a day. She also refuses to take her breathing treatments which is why she keeps on ending up in the hospital. When she's in the hospital, she listens to the staff so I can get her to listen to me. I'll just take away her cigarettes and give her one after she eats or after she does something she's supposed to do.
She's not going to like me very much, but I'm not in her will so that doesn't matter. I told her and my father that I would stay down there as long as I'm doing her some good. If she won't listen to me or if she fails to thrive while I'm there, I'll have to see to it that she does go into a nursing home. My entire purpose in going down there is to help my father keep her out of one. That's what she wants...so we'll try. But if we can't get her to listen to us, she will go to one and knowing her, it'll be a locked unit when she'll be lucky to get 2 cigarettes a day.
Anyway, I do have the cigarettes to use as currency. She also likes to sit around and drink Scotch. It's been my experience that doctors don't mind if a dying patient has a highball or two...but this woman will drink it until it's gone or she passes out. That won't happen while I'm there. I'll give her one drink, but after that, the liquor will be missing. My father thinks that if she can bitch and bitch until he gives her another glass, that she must be alert enough to make that decision. That's not the case at all.
I'm hoping that shortly after I get there my father will leave on a short vacation. I need to get her attention ans let her see that I mean it when I take the cigarettes away. I can't let her go whining to my father unless he can say no. I'm sure he can, but I think he needs a vacation anyway.
So anyway, I'll be leaving for Tampa tomorrow morning. Damn...my nails need a coat of clear nail polish. I can't believe that these stupid nails aren't finished yet. I may end up at the stupid salon anyway. Shit.
posted by Meg Kelso | 7:04 AM
2 Comments:
He should look into an Alzheimer's support group. A lot of times they will talk to him about the situation (1 on 1) or they may provide help taking care of her so he can get a rest. If anything he may be able to talk to other people going through the same thing.
Yeah, that would be too smart. He would never do it. He comes from that time when men just sucked it up and dealt with it. Hopefully, once he gets some time to himself, he'll be easier to talk to about this.
:)
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