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Hi. I'm trying to think of another description to put here. Any ideas? I'll try again at 420.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Good morning!

I woke up at about 5 AM and let the dog out. I figured I would just get back under the covers until he came to the window to be let in. The next thing I knew it was almost 9 AM. I should have just stayed up when I woke up in the first place but I love to "snooze" and I always set at least two alarms so that I can safely and gently snooze my ass awake. I hate getting out of bed in the morning. It's almost painful. I hate to sleep late, but I hate to actually get OUT of the bed. That's the hardest thing I do in the course of a day...once I am off the bed and sipping coffee...it doesn't matter what the rest of the day holds...the hard part is over.

So, I guess my day will be all downhill until my favorite part of the day...bedtime. I love that time that I spend in my pretty girlie room with my dog lying on the foot of my bed. I watch TV until I get sleepy. I can fall asleep a few times before I finally just let myself drift off. I'm always trying to watch the end of something before I do go to sleep.

So, my favorite part of the day is the part where I get IN my bed and my worst part of the day is when I get out of it. Too bad I can't get in it without having to get out of it. Oh well, life could be much worse.

It's not going so well for Jean right now. I'm still waiting to hear from my father as to what they're going to do. The last time I spoke to him he said that the neurologist would be in sometime last night to assess her CNS and see if they need to just pull the plug. It's odd, yesterday morning, the ER doc was more than happy to pull the plug when he saw Jean, after all, the EMT's never should have restarted her breathing since she has a signed No Code order. Then, when her own doctors got there, they all started doing tests. I can't believe that they'd bother with thousands and thousands of dollars of tests to find out that she died yesterday.

This is how people end up on all sorts of machines before they die...they slowly get one machine to fix one thing and then they add more to fix other stuff and before you know it, they're in a room full of machinery that could be used for someone who may have a chance to survive. It may sound awful but when someone is brain dead...should they really be taking up a bed that could be used for someone who has a shot at life? If the family wants to keep them around, they can...at home. Even a nursing home would be better than an acute care hospital. The absolute BEST result possible for Jean is that she come out of the coma with brain damage to some degree and Alzheimer's. Oh, and she takes her dialysis too. They dialyze her Monday, Wednesday and Friday at a cost to the taxpayers of over 10 grand a week. The nephrologist who owns that dialysis clinic is making money hand over fist. If you ever wanted to know where your tax dollars go...walk into a dialysis center...for every patient there they make 10 grand a week.

I wouldn't think that was a bad idea if Jean was healthy and had some quality of life to look forward to...but she doesn't have anything to look forward to at all. She couldn't look forward to anything if she wanted to...she would forget what she was looking forward to in ten minutes time.

And still her daughter won't so much as make a phone call. She has no clue what shape her mother is in. She never gave her Mom her phone number so all they have is an email address for her. I was in Florida for well over a month and not one family member called to check on the woman. I felt so badly for her. She's going to live with some hideous guilt one day soon. You would think that her husband would care enough about her to talk some sense into her and get her to take two days to come and see her mother before she dies. But for all I know, the husband is manipulating the chick into keeping the argument going on. That's more of a female thing to do but men could be mean enough to do it too.

Anyway...I just hope that Jean doesn't feel any pain, I don't think she does.

I just walked into my bedroom and the blankets on my bed were pulled over from where I took them off of me as I got off of it this morning. The bed was talking to me saying, "Come back, come back...we need you to curl up under the blankets and make us warm...if you do, we'll wrap you up and hold all of your warmth in us and all around you. All you have to do is plop yourself down and pull the blankets over you...it's that easy!"

That bed is such an ass...it didn't even mention that if I do get in...sooner or later I'll have to get back out.

Yuck...I'm going through a few weeks of puking a few times a day. It's a good thing that I have no appetite...if I did puking would be a lot worse than it already is. If this doesn't stop soon I may just take my bed up on it's offer.

OK...this is stupid...I'll be back after my stomach stops rejecting every single thing that enters it. Apparently Kool-Aid isn't one of my stomach's favorite things.



Blogger Eliza Doolittle said...

Have you given up on the phenergren? (I can never spell it). I have some myself but have never taken it since I understand it puts you in a SLEEP COMA.

Ginger tea?

April 22, 2008  
Blogger Meg said...

Yeah it does knock me out like a light. I hate taking it first thing in the morning. I spend the rest of the day tired. This morning, as usual, the nausea comes over me too quickly for the phenergan to work...I'd be puking that sucker up as well. I just lie down and eat a few crackers and it goes away sooner or later. In the meantime, I can't even hold down water...or my spit for that matter.


April 22, 2008  

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