Eliza said...


"...Toodling through the internet, as one does....when the word LABIAPLASTY leapt out at me and hit me across the nose. According to this article in Newsweek, women are starting to treat labiaplasty as the new boob job. You know, you don't particularly like yourself "down there"..." (http://queenofghosts.blogspot.com/)


OMG. Well, today that post hit me like the same smack across the nose that Eliza suffered. My first reaction is OOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUCCCCHH! Oh my fricking lord have mercy, what on earth are these women doing? What the heck is the problem? How do you know if you have a really really GOOD coochie? I need to go check. I'll tell you, I have no clue how I rank when it comes to coochie....coochie what? Do you rank it as to how it looks? How it feels? How it smells? Jeez, I don't know how in the heck to judge one of those things.

I've never had any complaints so I guess it's all good but what if I were to find out that my labia was all messed up and I was just going around my entire life making love as though I had a normal coochie? This is just one more thing to worry about and I was getting a tad full of things to worry about already.


Jeez, I've heard about toe surgery to "correct" this hideous deformity:

See how my second toe is longer than the big toe? That's abnormal and I suffer life as a long second toed freak without any support from others of my kind. The shame is unbearable.

And now I have to check out my labia to make sure that that's OK. But I still don't know what the heck to check for! Maybe I need to go to a doctor and ask him what he thinks. I'm a nurse but I have never really noticed much of a difference between different labia...but perhaps it's just that I have an untrained eye. Jeez, I don't know what to do about this.

Oh well. I guess I should do the dishes because I KNOW they need to be done. I DON'T know about my labia and I guess it doesn't really matter anyway. First of all, I can't afford the surgery to have it fixed and secondly, I'm already a fricking freak with the messed up toe.