These are my words...

...but not my sentiment. I was sent a history of a marriage with some other scattered information and this is what I came up with. A person who shall remain nameless wanted me to write a poem that she could leave on the bed for her husband to find when he came home to find her and her belongings gone. Keep in mind that all I did was exactly what the lady wanted:

If you're reading this poem then you know that I'm not here
And I won't be coming back, so don't wait for me Dear.
I give up, I've tried much too hard
To jump through your hoops, you fat tub of lard.
Here are just a few reason's that I'm leaving you
In time for me to start life anew.
I have to say that you are quite a huge moron
Even if the only word that ryhmes with it's boron.
Your short stubby dick is a novelty, it's true
But I assure, she'll grow sick of it too.
You spend lots of time in the bathroom, maybe an hour
But still you come out smelling like you really need a shower.
Then there's the time your crotch reaked of a dead guppy
I could smell it without sniffing around like a puppy.
When you lie to me you say that I've been untrue
Just how on earth do you live with you?
The manipulation has now come to an end
I'm no longer so pliable my controlling little friend.
It's not bad enough that you're screwing a whore
But why must it be behind our bedroom door?
I hope you enjoy your brand new life
And if you should soon take a wife,
I hope it's the one who sneaks around
With married men all over town.
I'm leaving you for good now honey,
And yes, that means I'm taking my money.
That will probably leave your funds a little bit low
But you can just call your new friend and your dick she can blow.


That's it!


OK girl, how's ten bucks?